Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic. It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?
Sample Response
People have different views about whether children should learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. I believe an early start would be far more beneficial than a later one.
Firstly, teaching children from the start has a lasting impact and will shape their behaviour in public and private life. They become confident in taking deciduous. Punishment is necessary for some kinds of situations where children do not listen to parents and teachers. But those punishments should not be any physical beating a boy or girl is in no way should be used as there are far better ways of punishing a child for teaching him or her something. It should be like education from that also they should learn. Physical punishment is no longer used in most countries and can be found in small countries.
In my opinion, this form of punishment should not be used. More effective punishment could be not to allow him or them to play with his favourite toy or not to allow his or her favourite chocolate for one or two days. Sometimes if you have a very friendly relationship with your kids, if you stop talking to them for some time, they realize their mistake and make a promise not to make a mistake again. The teacher and parents should remember that the punishment’s primary purpose is to teach the child not to hurt.
To conclude, punishment is necessary to teach children good manners & distinguish good things from bad ones as early as possible.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural phrasing Original: an early start Suggested revision: starting early Why it matters: The gerund phrase expresses the timing more naturally in this context.
- 2. Clarify the time Original: from the start Suggested revision: from an early age Why it matters: This wording states the relevant stage of childhood more precisely.
- 3. Correct word choice Original: taking deciduous Suggested revision: making decisions Why it matters: “Deciduous” describes something that sheds leaves and cannot function as a noun here.
- 4. Fix prepositions Original: for some kinds of situations where Suggested revision: in some situations when Why it matters: The revised prepositions and relative word correctly introduce the circumstances.
- 5. Add the article Original: More effective punishment Suggested revision: A more effective punishment Why it matters: A singular countable noun needs an article here.
- 6. Use consistent reference Original: him or them Suggested revision: children Why it matters: The mixed singular and plural pronouns do not refer consistently to the children.
- 7. Match plural reference Original: his favourite toy Suggested revision: their favourite toys Why it matters: The possessive and noun should agree with the plural reference to children.
- 8. Complete the verb Original: not to allow his or her favourite chocolate Suggested revision: to withhold their favourite chocolate Why it matters: “Allow” requires a person or action as its complement, whereas “withhold” fits the intended object.
- 9. Keep formal perspective Original: your kids Suggested revision: their children Why it matters: This keeps the essay in a consistent third-person academic perspective.
- 10. Match the subject Original: you Suggested revision: they Why it matters: The pronoun should refer back to parents rather than shifting to the reader.
- 11. Avoid repetition Original: make a promise not to make a mistake again Suggested revision: promise not to repeat it Why it matters: The revision removes repeated wording while preserving the intended meaning.
- 12. Use parallel plurals Original: The teacher and parents Suggested revision: Teachers and parents Why it matters: Both groups are discussed generally, so parallel plural nouns are appropriate.
Suggested Rewrites
- an early start starting early
- from the start from an early age
- taking deciduous making decisions
- for some kinds of situations where in some situations when
- More effective punishment A more effective punishment
- him or them children
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response gives a clear preference for early moral education and offers several relevant examples of non-physical punishment. Its main limitation is that the position on punishment is initially indirect and the supporting ideas are sometimes unclear or weakly developed because of persistent language errors. The highest priority is to state the precise position in the introduction and explain each recommended consequence clearly and specifically.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both the value of early moral education and acceptable punishments, but its position and supporting explanations are unevenly developed.
State a direct position on the necessity of punishment in the introduction and fully explain why each proposed non-physical consequence teaches better behaviour.
Coherence and Cohesion
The paragraph sequence is generally logical, although progression within paragraphs is weakened by abrupt statements, faulty referencing, and loosely connected ideas.
Give each body paragraph one clear controlling idea and connect its explanation and example with precise referencing.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate for discussing discipline and behaviour, but frequent inaccurate word choices and collocations reduce precision and occasionally obscure meaning.
Prioritise accurate common expressions such as make decisions, physical punishment, and withdraw privileges instead of forcing less familiar wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mixture of simple and complex structures is attempted, but frequent errors in sentence construction, agreement, pronouns, and articles sometimes impede understanding.
Use shorter, complete sentences and check each one for a clear subject-verb structure, consistent pronouns, and correct article use.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic. It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.