Some people believe that the main purpose of schools is to turn children into good citizens and workers instead of benefitting them individually. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Schools are considered to be guiding institutions of a nationthe lighthouse of a nation, and if education is the backbone of a nation, schools are the placesplace to build it. However, the main objective of schoolsacademies is a never-ending debate. I agree that a school's main purpose should be to turn students into honest citizens and prepare themto turn students into honest and good citizens and making them ready to work for society instead of turning them into selfish money-making machines by supporting only their preparation for employmenthelping them individually just to be ready to get a job. First, the main purpose of education is to build an enlightened nationbuild up an enlightened nation in which morality, honesty, and integrity arewhere morality, honesty and integrity would be the key characteristics. They would keep aside their personal ambitionsand work together, and work together for the betterment of the country. Since a school is a place where pupils are educatedpupils' education is taken care of, its chief objective should be to focus on nurturing morality and positive character traitsgood human characteristics among the students while also preparing them for careers through which they can benefit societyfor their careers that would benefit society. For exampleTo exemplify, if talented and experienced doctors treat patients only for moneyonly for the money, healthcare for all would be a distant dream. So, to build a nation where people will help each other instead of turning into money-making machines, we should focus on our education system, especially what we teach our children. Second, states spend a lot of money to keep the schools and their education system running. A major portion of this spending comes from tax revenuethe tax money. InFrom this regard, if schools plan to adopt an education system where teachers’ sole purpose would be to teach children how to be benefit personally from jobs or businessespersonally benefitted from jobs or businesses, the whole education system would collapse. We have to be very careful while educating our children. What we teach them in their early stages would shape them, and if the schools fail to teach them to become ideal citizens, it would be a great concern in the future. Moreover, personal gainbenefits, good grades and a better career should not be the main reasons children attend schools. They should attend schools to become enlightened members of society. In conclusion, making ideal citizens and dedicated workers should be the true objective of our schools. The greater good of society, the bright and prosperous future of a nation, and the personal achievements of individuals are connected with the way we teach our children in schools and that is why our education should focus on morality and quality.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response maintains a clear position throughout and supports it with a logically organised discussion of civic education, public investment, and social responsibility. Its main limitation is that the argument repeatedly equates individual benefit with selfishness and gives comparatively little direct development to the worker aspect, while a few awkward constructions reduce precision. The highest priority is to add a balanced, specific explanation of how schools prepare responsible workers and reconcile social and individual benefits.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear, consistent position is well developed through relevant arguments about citizenship, social responsibility, and public funding.
Develop the worker dimension directly and acknowledge how individual benefit can coexist with wider social benefit.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument is logically sequenced, with clear paragraph purposes and effective progression from principles to examples and implications.
Reduce repetition of morality and money-making contrasts by using each paragraph to advance a distinct part of the case.
Lexical Resource
A wide topic-specific vocabulary conveys ideas effectively, despite occasional awkward or imprecise collocations.
Refine expressions such as from this regard and personally benefitted to make the formal wording more idiomatic.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A broad range of complex sentences is used with generally strong control, though some agreement and parallel-structure slips remain.
Check parallel verb forms and streamline very long sentences to improve accuracy and clarity.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that the main purpose of schools is to turn children into good citizens and workers instead of benefitting them individually. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.