Some people argue that the purpose of zoos is only to entertain people. What do you think? What are the other purposes of zoos?
Sample Response
Around the world, people can find many different species in zoosall the different species in the zoo. Some people believe the main aimbelieve main aim of having zoos in citieshaving zoos in the cities is entertaining peoplethe amusement of the people. However, I do not agree with this outlook and believe zoos also serve other purposes. In this essay, we will analyse how zoos can benefit endangered species and play a role in educating young people. First of all, the purpose of gathering various animals inat a single place is wildlife education for childrenthe wildlife education for children. For instance, getting knowledge about anything can become much easier when kids actually see them. In other words, zoo keeper talks organised at zoos provides very useful information on these animals and thereby, students can learn to respect all the living creatures. Therefore, it is evident that educating school pupils is one important purposeis the one important purpose of these zoos. Another crucial purposeneed of zoos is protecting endangered species. A good illustration for this is that these species can be saved from being killed by the hunters and also scientist can work on improving the population of these species by arranging artificial breeding programs. Thus, future generationsthe future generation will also be able to experience these animals and the threat of animal extinctionthe issue of extinction of animals can be addressedsolved. From the points aboveFrom above, the case for using zoos to conserve wildlifethe theory of having zoos for conserving wildlife is well supporteddifficult to debunk. In conclusion, zoosit is seen that the zoos not only play a key role in the education of the publiceducation of folks but also help to guard animals against hunting. Thus, it is incorrect to say that zoos are only for the entertainment of the publicsociety. It is thus hoped that people will realise the real benefits of zoosactual advantage of zoos and will encourage the government to maintain and build more zoos.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response clearly rejects the idea that zoos exist only for entertainment and develops two relevant alternative purposes: public education and endangered-species conservation. Its strongest feature is the direct explanation of keeper talks and breeding programmes, but the entire essay is presented as one paragraph and several language errors or exaggerated claims reduce precision. The priority is to separate the two purposes into focused paragraphs and support conservation claims with more measured reasoning.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear and both educational and conservation purposes are relevantly developed, although some claims about preventing extinction are too absolute.
Explain the limits as well as the benefits of breeding and protection programmes, using one realistic outcome for each purpose.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a recognisable introduction, education point, conservation point, and conclusion, but the absence of paragraphing weakens organisation and readability.
Create separate introduction, education, conservation, and conclusion paragraphs, each with one clear controlling idea.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a reasonable range of vocabulary for education, wildlife, hunting, and breeding, but some collocations and word choices are unnatural.
Use precise expressions such as 'wildlife education', 'zookeeper talks', 'captive-breeding programmes', and 'protect animals from poachers'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of sentence structures communicates the ideas, but errors in articles, agreement, plurals, and clause construction recur throughout.
Check subject-verb agreement and articles in every sentence, especially where plural nouns such as 'talks', 'scientists', and 'species' are used.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people argue that the purpose of zoos is only to entertain people. What do you think? What are the other purposes of zoos?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.