Some parents buy their children whatever they ask for, and allow their children to do whatever they want. Is this a good way to raise children? What consequences could this style of parenting have for children as they get older?
Sample Response
There are a number of parents who are totally responsive to their children’s demands and let their offspring act as they wish. This parenting style should be considered negative as it fosters a self-centered attitude and brings about repercussions including the deficiency of independence and teamwork skills as these children become adults. To begin with, permissive parents are detrimental to a child’s development as they nourish selfishness in their offspring. Specifically, children raised in indulgent environments generally have their own demands satisfied unconditionally, which leads them to prioritise their own needs over others. This gradually fosters them to be self-centered individuals. In reality, parents should be responsive to their children to an extent while respecting familial limitations such as financial burdens. These boundaries might teach them to think of others’ conditions and needs in addition to theirs, training them to be more considerate. Furthermore, there are several negative outcomes of indulgence on children. Chief of these lies in the over-reliance on parents. This stems from the fact that excessive parental assistance can cause children to be short of opportunities to address challenges by themselves, which hinders the acquisition of essential skills for an independent lifestyle including dealing with rejections and solving problems. Another consequence is that children brought up by indulgent parents are more likely to struggle with teamwork. It is because their parents usually fail to make them accustomed to rules and boundaries, leading to a lack of respect for regulations in team settings. This shortage, in turn, prevents them from being a constructive team member in academic and professional environments. In conclusion, parental indulgence is rather harmful to children’s development considering its influence on their egotism. In addition, this parenting methodology might cause children to be dependent and unconstructive members of a society that rewards cooperation. Therefore, governments ought to provide more courses to provide parents with essential parenting skills and knowledge.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Clarify parental behavior Original: totally responsive to their children’s demands Suggested revision: completely compliant with their children’s demands Why it matters: Compliant more precisely conveys that the parents grant every demand.
- 2. Use natural phrasing Original: deficiency Suggested revision: lack Why it matters: Lack of is the more natural collocation for an absent personal quality.
- 3. Correct collocation Original: nourish Suggested revision: foster Why it matters: Foster is the appropriate verb for encouraging the development of a trait.
- 4. Correct verb pattern Original: fosters them to be Suggested revision: leads them to become Why it matters: Foster does not take an object followed by a to-infinitive in this structure.
- 5. Clarify comparison Original: others’ conditions and needs in addition to theirs Suggested revision: other people's circumstances and needs as well as their own Why it matters: The revision makes both sides of the comparison explicit and natural.
- 6. Correct noun phrase Original: negative outcomes of indulgence on children Suggested revision: negative effects of indulgent parenting on children Why it matters: Effects of a practice on children is the appropriate collocational structure.
- 7. Use concise wording Original: be short of opportunities Suggested revision: lack opportunities Why it matters: Lack expresses the shortage more directly without changing the meaning.
- 8. Improve example phrasing Original: including dealing with rejections and solving problems Suggested revision: such as coping with rejection and solving problems Why it matters: Rejection is normally uncountable here, and such as introduces examples more naturally.
- 9. Clarify reference Original: This shortage, in turn Suggested revision: This lack of respect, in turn Why it matters: Shortage does not clearly refer back to the stated lack of respect for rules.
- 10. Avoid repetition Original: provide more courses to provide Suggested revision: offer more courses that equip Why it matters: The revision removes immediate repetition and forms a natural expression with parents and skills.
- 11. Open more directly Original: There are a number of parents who are Suggested revision: Some parents are Why it matters: The shorter opening states the subject directly without changing its scope.
- 12. Use precise phrasing Original: brings about repercussions including Suggested revision: has negative consequences, including Why it matters: The revision identifies the consequences clearly and uses a more natural collocation.
Suggested Rewrites
- totally responsive to their children’s demands completely compliant with their children’s demands
- deficiency lack
- nourish foster
- fosters them to be leads them to become
- others’ conditions and needs in addition to theirs other people's circumstances and needs as well as their own
- negative outcomes of indulgence on children negative effects of indulgent parenting on children
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response fully answers both questions and develops the consequences of indulgent parenting through clear causal explanation, with strong control of complex sentences. Its main limitation is presentation as a single undivided paragraph, which obscures the otherwise logical movement between the position, independence, teamwork, and conclusion; several collocations also sound forced. Prioritise clear paragraph boundaries for each main idea, then replace unnatural expressions with simpler, idiomatic wording.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are answered directly, and the negative effects are clearly explained through relevant, well-developed causal reasoning.
Keep the final recommendation more closely tied to the two questions so the conclusion remains fully focused.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through clear internal signposting, but the absence of paragraph divisions significantly weakens organisation.
Separate the introduction, each main consequence, and the conclusion into distinct, purposeful paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is broad and topic-specific, though several combinations are unnatural or unnecessarily elaborate.
Replace forced phrases such as 'deficiency of independence' with concise, idiomatic alternatives such as 'lack of independence'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately, with only occasional non-impeding construction problems.
Refine the few awkward verb patterns and reference chains while preserving the effective structural range.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some parents buy their children whatever they ask for, and allow their children to do whatever they want. Is this a good way to raise children? What consequences could this style of parenting have for children as they get older?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.