To what extent do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The best way to solve the world’s environmental problem is to increase the price of fuel.
Sample Response
The world is facing severe environmental challenges, including climate change, pollution, and resource depletion. Many solutions have been proposed, one of which suggests increasing the price of fuel as a means to address these issues most effectively. This essay will argue that while it may be effective in some aspects, it should not be viewed as a standalone solution to the complex environmental problems of the modern world.
Higher fuel prices could incentivise individuals and industries to adopt more sustainable practices and reduce carbon emissions to some extent. For instance, consumers might opt for fuel-efficient vehicles, while companies may invest in alternative energy sources to reduce their reliance on fossil fuels. This shift towards greener options could contribute to a reduction in greenhouse gas emissions, helping combat climate change. But it could never be the best solution because it does not deal with other environmental problems like deforestation, plastic pollution, and water and noise pollution to name a few.
Moreover, increasing fuel prices could also have adverse effects on the economy and society, particularly for low-income individuals. Higher fuel costs might lead to an increase in the price of goods and services, affecting the purchasing power of vulnerable populations. Additionally, industries heavily reliant on fuel, such as transportation and manufacturing, may face operational challenges, leading to potential job losses and economic downturns.
While increasing fuel prices may yield some environmental benefits, a more comprehensive approach is necessary to address the world's environmental problems effectively. Governments and policymakers should consider a range of strategies, such as investing in renewable energy, promoting sustainable transportation, implementing stricter environmental regulations, and supporting green technologies for instance to combat environmental issues.
In conclusion, while increasing the price of fuel could have some positive effects on reducing carbon emissions, it is not the sole solution to the world's environmental problems. It is essential to adopt a multi-faceted approach that combines various strategies to tackle issues like climate change, pollution, and resource depletion effectively.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use a precise process verb Original: suggests Suggested revision: involves Why it matters: A solution involves an action rather than suggesting it.
- 2. Express the comparison clearly Original: as a means to address these issues most effectively Suggested revision: as the most effective means of addressing these issues Why it matters: This wording makes the claim about relative effectiveness grammatically direct.
- 3. Use the natural expression Original: aspects Suggested revision: respects Why it matters: In some respects is the standard expression for partial effectiveness.
- 4. Make the verb concise Original: could contribute to a reduction in Suggested revision: could reduce Why it matters: The direct verb conveys the same causal relationship more concisely.
- 5. Use measured contrast Original: But it could never be Suggested revision: However, it could not be Why it matters: However marks the contrast formally while avoiding an unnecessarily absolute auxiliary.
- 6. Use formal example wording Original: other environmental problems like Suggested revision: other environmental problems such as Why it matters: Such as introduces examples more precisely in formal writing.
- 7. Set off the aside Original: water and noise pollution to name a few Suggested revision: water and noise pollution, to name a few Why it matters: A comma separates the supplementary phrase to name a few from the list.
- 8. Remove redundant linking Original: could also have Suggested revision: could have Why it matters: Moreover already signals addition, so also is redundant here.
- 9. Use concise wording Original: an increase in the price of goods and services Suggested revision: higher prices for goods and services Why it matters: The concise noun phrase preserves the meaning and improves readability.
- 10. Remove a redundant marker Original: for instance to combat environmental issues Suggested revision: to combat environmental issues Why it matters: The earlier such as already introduces the examples, making for instance redundant.
- 11. Use standard closed spelling Original: multi-faceted Suggested revision: multifaceted Why it matters: Multifaceted is conventionally written as one word in modern formal English.
Suggested Rewrites
- suggests involves
- as a means to address these issues most effectively as the most effective means of addressing these issues
- aspects respects
- could contribute to a reduction in could reduce
- But it could never be However, it could not be
- other environmental problems like other environmental problems such as
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response’s strongest feature is its direct, consistent evaluation of fuel-price increases within a broader environmental strategy, supported by relevant benefits, limitations, and social costs. The main limitation is that some support remains general and the discussion of alternative policies is largely listed rather than explained. The highest-priority improvement is to develop one or two alternatives in enough detail to demonstrate why a combined approach would outperform fuel pricing alone.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear qualified disagreement is sustained throughout, and the proposal is evaluated through environmental benefits, wider limitations, and viable alternatives.
Explain how one proposed complementary policy would address a specific problem that higher fuel prices cannot solve.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses logically from limited benefits to shortcomings, broader solutions, and a consistent conclusion, with effective paragraphing.
Integrate the alternatives paragraph more fully by developing its list into a connected explanation of a comprehensive policy approach.
Lexical Resource
A wide, accurate range of environmental and economic vocabulary conveys the argument precisely, with minor repetition and occasional awkward placement.
Reduce repeated uses of “environmental problems” and position qualifiers such as “for instance” more naturally.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A broad range of complex structures is used accurately and flexibly, and minor punctuation issues do not affect clarity.
Use commas to frame parenthetical phrases such as “to name a few” and “for instance” consistently.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
To what extent do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The best way to solve the world’s environmental problem is to increase the price of fuel.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.