The best way to deal with the rising problem of traffic and transportation is by encouraging people to live in cities rather than in suburbs and in the countryside. What are the effects of rapid population growth in the city? How can the quality of life of city dwellers be maintained?
Sample Response
As urban populations swell, cities increasingly grapple with overwhelmed infrastructure and soaring living costs. I believe that while rapid migration into urban centres exacerbates traffic congestion, pollution, and housing shortages, thoughtful interventions can preserve and even enhance city dwellers’ quality of life.
Rapid urban population growth strains city systems in different ways. Chief among these is that road congestion and air pollution intensify as overloaded transport networks buckle under the weight of new arrivals. Specifically, an influx of migrants often leads to a surge in private vehicle ownership; consequently, commuters face longer journeys and city centres endure hazardous smog buildup. Furthermore, housing scarcity and price inflation compound urban pressures. When demand far outstrips the supply of affordable units, residents are forced into ever-smaller living spaces—micro-apartments in Hong Kong, for example, vividly illustrate extreme crowding and sky-high rents that erode wellbeing.
However, targeted planning can sustain urban quality of life. Primarily, integrated transit networks offer a blueprint for seamless mobility. By expanding metro lines, Bus Rapid Transit corridors, and dedicated cycling lanes, cities can provide fast, clean alternatives to car travel, and as a result congestion eases and air quality measurably improves. Moreover, affordable green housing initiatives bolster social welfare and environmental health. Through inclusionary zoning policies and vertical eco-designs—such as Singapore’s Housing & Development Board blocks topped with rooftop gardens—municipalities can ensure equitable access to homes while promoting livability and community cohesion.
In conclusion, although the influx of residents into cities places immense strain on transport and housing, I maintain that a dual focus on efficient, interconnected public transport and sustainable, affordable housing developments will safeguard and enrich the urban experience for all.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural collocation Original: overwhelmed Suggested revision: overstretched Why it matters: Infrastructure is more naturally described as overstretched when demand exceeds capacity.
- 2. Specify migration type Original: rapid migration into urban centres Suggested revision: rapid urban migration Why it matters: This concise term states the type of migration more directly.
- 3. Use concise phrasing Original: different Suggested revision: several Why it matters: Several is more concise and specific than different in this context.
- 4. Clarify reference Original: Chief among these is that Suggested revision: Chief among these effects is that Why it matters: Adding effects makes the reference of these explicit and the sentence easier to parse.
- 5. Avoid redundant wording Original: hazardous smog buildup Suggested revision: hazardous smog Why it matters: Smog already denotes an accumulation of polluted air, making buildup unnecessary here.
- 6. Use natural phrasing Original: housing scarcity and price inflation Suggested revision: housing shortages and rising prices Why it matters: This phrasing is more natural and immediately clear in the housing context.
- 7. Use precise claim Original: a blueprint for seamless mobility Suggested revision: a foundation for efficient mobility Why it matters: This version retains the claim while avoiding promotional-sounding wording.
- 8. Use standard capitalization Original: Bus Rapid Transit corridors Suggested revision: bus rapid transit corridors Why it matters: This generic transport mode does not require title capitalization in the sentence.
- 9. Clarify design term Original: vertical eco-designs Suggested revision: environmentally sustainable high-rise designs Why it matters: The revision states the intended type of design more transparently.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: By expanding metro lines, Bus Rapid Transit corridors, and dedicated cycling lanes, cities can provide fast, clean alternatives to car travel, and as a result congestion eases and air quality measurably improves. Suggested revision: By expanding metro lines, bus rapid transit corridors, and dedicated cycling lanes, cities can provide fast, clean alternatives to car travel, thereby easing congestion and measurably improving air quality. Why it matters: The participial ending expresses the result more smoothly and removes a cumbersome chain of clauses.
Suggested Rewrites
- overwhelmed overstretched
- rapid migration into urban centres rapid urban migration
- different several
- Chief among these is that Chief among these effects is that
- hazardous smog buildup hazardous smog
- housing scarcity and price inflation housing shortages and rising prices
Why this response received Band 8.5
This is a focused, well-developed response whose strongest feature is the precise pairing of major urban pressures with practical transport and housing solutions. The main limitation is that a few claims about outcomes, such as measurable improvements in congestion and air quality, are asserted more confidently than they are demonstrated. The best refinement would be to qualify these claims or add a brief causal detail while preserving the response's concision.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are answered directly through well-developed effects, targeted solutions, and specific supporting examples.
Add a touch more qualification to broad outcome claims so the argument remains fully measured and persuasive.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress smoothly through a clear introduction, two purpose-driven body paragraphs, and a concise conclusion.
Refine the occasional long sentence so each causal step receives maximum emphasis and clarity.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide-ranging, precise, and natural, with strong control of urban-planning and quality-of-life language.
Prefer slightly more neutral phrasing where expressions such as blueprint or sky-high add rhetorical intensity.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A broad range of complex structures is handled accurately and flexibly, with punctuation supporting clarity throughout.
Maintain this control while occasionally shortening multi-clause sentences to sharpen the delivery of key claims.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The best way to deal with the rising problem of traffic and transportation is by encouraging people to live in cities rather than in suburbs and in the countryside. What are the effects of rapid population growth in the city? How can the quality of life of city dwellers be maintained?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.