The population of some cities is growing rapidly. What are the effects on people living in these cities? What solutions can you propose to maintain a good quality of life in urban areas?
Sample Response
It is true that there is a rapid population growth in certain urban areas. This phenomenon has brought about several negative impacts on the lives of people, which necessitate practical measures to be adopted.
The ever-increasing population can cause issues related to housing and public services. Regarding the former, when the number of urban dwellers is on the rise, the demand for housing tends to increase correspondingly. This can lead to various housing problems for urban residents, namely affordable prices and housing shortage, which can be exemplified by New York, Shanghai or similar metropolitan cities. The other impact is that a growing population can place considerable pressure on public facilities, which can be clearly observed in the field of healthcare and education. Since more people are in demand of using such services, these systems may face challenges in terms of funding, inadequate facilities and human resources, potentially leading to a decline in the quality of their services.
In order to tackle such issues, the authorities can implement a range of policies. Perhaps one of these is for them to take some measures to alleviate the population burden on large cities. For example, they can make plans for establishing satellite towns that can help accommodate dwellers from nearby large cities. These newly-established towns, as a result, can address certain existing problems in densely-populated areas and thus contribute to an increase in standards of living. Another approach worth mentioning is that the governments should allocate more financial resources to improve public services ensuring educational and healthcare needs of those living in populated cities. Such investments can be useful to construct modern facilities and attract more workers, thereby alleviating the shortage faced in essential sectors and improving the overall quality of life.
In conclusion, the fact that some cities are witnessing an unprecedented growth in their population has brought about housing issues and challenges in some public sectors. Despite these detrimental impacts, policymakers can adopt new legislation to make urban areas worth living.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove the article Original: a rapid population growth Suggested revision: rapid population growth Why it matters: Population growth is uncountable when referring generally to the phenomenon.
- 2. Express the problem Original: affordable Suggested revision: high Why it matters: Affordable prices are beneficial, so high prices conveys the stated housing problem.
- 3. Use plural form Original: shortage Suggested revision: shortages Why it matters: The plural form fits the general reference to multiple housing problems.
- 4. Link example directly Original: which can be exemplified by New York, Shanghai or similar metropolitan cities Suggested revision: as seen in New York, Shanghai, or similar metropolitan cities Why it matters: The revision connects the cities directly to the preceding housing problems.
- 5. Match two fields Original: field Suggested revision: fields Why it matters: The plural fields is needed because healthcare and education are separate areas.
- 6. Correct demand structure Original: are in demand of using Suggested revision: need to use Why it matters: Be in demand of using is not a valid construction for expressing people's needs.
- 7. Keep list parallel Original: funding, inadequate facilities and human resources Suggested revision: a lack of funding, inadequate facilities, and staff shortages Why it matters: The revision makes all three items parallel descriptions of shortages or deficiencies.
- 8. Use concise verb pattern Original: make plans for establishing Suggested revision: plan to establish Why it matters: Plan normally takes a to-infinitive when referring to a proposed action.
- 9. Remove unnecessary hyphen Original: newly-established towns Suggested revision: newly established towns Why it matters: An adverb ending in ly is not hyphenated with the participle it modifies.
- 10. Clarify service function Original: public services ensuring educational and healthcare needs Suggested revision: public services that meet the educational and healthcare needs Why it matters: A relative clause with meet correctly expresses how services satisfy people's needs.
- 11. Remove the article Original: an unprecedented growth Suggested revision: unprecedented growth Why it matters: Growth is uncountable when referring generally to population increase.
- 12. Complete the idiom Original: worth living Suggested revision: worth living in Why it matters: A place is described as worth living in because live requires the preposition in here.
Suggested Rewrites
- a rapid population growth rapid population growth
- affordable high
- shortage shortages
- which can be exemplified by New York, Shanghai or similar metropolitan cities as seen in New York, Shanghai, or similar metropolitan cities
- field fields
- are in demand of using need to use
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response’s strongest feature is its balanced, well-organized treatment of both the effects of urban growth and practical solutions. Its main limitation is imprecision in several phrases, including the contradictory reference to “affordable prices,” and some ideas could be illustrated more concretely. The priority is to refine collocations and make every example explicitly demonstrate how the proposed measure protects residents’ quality of life.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response directly covers both effects and solutions, with relevant, extended explanations of housing, public services, satellite towns, and investment.
Use a more concrete example to demonstrate the practical effect of each proposed policy on residents’ quality of life.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically sequenced in well-focused paragraphs, and referencing and cohesive devices support a clear progression throughout.
Streamline formulaic signposting so the relationships between ideas emerge even more naturally from the content.
Lexical Resource
The response shows a wide and flexible vocabulary, but several awkward or inaccurate collocations limit precision.
Correct combinations such as “in demand of using” and “worth living” and check that word choices convey the intended meaning exactly.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex sentence forms is used with strong control, and most sentences are error-free.
Refine article use and participial clauses in the few dense sentences where grammatical relationships become slightly unclear.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The population of some cities is growing rapidly. What are the effects on people living in these cities? What solutions can you propose to maintain a good quality of life in urban areas?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.