In general, people are living longer now. Discuss the causes of this phenomenon. Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay.
Sample Response
Statistics show that people are living longer now than they used to in previous centuries. There are several reasons for this and the improvement in treatment and in medical science isin the main reason for this increase in life expectancythat longer life expectancy. I will point out a few of them below.
First of all, a few hundred years ago mankind suffered from many different kinds of diseases that can now be treated effectivelydiseases which are very well cured now. The achievements of contemporary medicine allow people to live with prosthetic limbs and even artificial heartslive with artificial arms, hands, legs and even hearts. Recently I read a few magazine articlesa few articles in the magazines about a man with an implanted artificial heart and a woman who had an implanted chipchipset in her head to make her happier. Additionally, many viral infections can now be preventedmany viruses are defeated nowadays with modern vaccineswith the modern vaccines and many pills help us to relieve pain.
Second of all, living conditionsthe conditions of lives are greatly improved. A man chiefly does not have to sleep on the wet and cold ground, defense himself from predators in the wild forests and fight for his life. The wide extension of fast food stands, buffets and restaurants give people the opportunity to have full and nutritious meals whenever they need to. Many entertainmententertaining centres offer a wide variety of services through which you can leaveservices where you can leave your troubles behind and just relax.
Again, technological advancesthe technological advancement like the Internet has made information availablemade the information available to many people. People no longer need to consult a doctor to know about a disease and its treatmentabout a disease and cure. People can surf the internet themselves and can get some medical advice they need to improve their healthadvice they require to get fit. But athe longer life span does not come automatically unless people start living a healthy life. The modern world gives people the opportunity to livegives the opportunity to live a healthy life if someone wants to have one.
All of these things mentioned above allow people to maintain a healthy lifestyle, spend more time with their familiesspend more time with his family and friends and make their liveslife longer and happier.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response is strongest in its clear organisation around several relevant causes, particularly advances in medicine and improved living conditions. Its main limitation is that some supporting claims are questionable or only loosely connected to longer life expectancy, while frequent awkward phrasing reduces precision. The highest-priority improvement is to develop fewer causes with accurate, clearly explained links to longevity and more natural language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses the causes of increased longevity with several relevant ideas, but development is uneven and some examples have a weak or doubtful connection to the issue.
Select two or three well-supported causes and explain precisely how each one increases life expectancy.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas are arranged in a clear introduction, body sequence, and conclusion, although progression relies on mechanical signposting and some connections within paragraphs are loose.
Use clearer cause-and-effect links within paragraphs instead of relying mainly on sequencing phrases such as first and second.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a sufficient range of vocabulary for health, technology, and living conditions, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices reduce precision.
Prioritise natural combinations such as living conditions, medical treatment, and defend oneself, and avoid ambitious words whose usage is uncertain.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the main ideas, but recurring errors with articles, agreement, word forms, and pronoun reference remain noticeable.
Edit each sentence for subject-verb agreement, articles, and consistent plural and pronoun forms.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In general, people are living longer now. Discuss the causes of this phenomenon. Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.