Why do you think people attend college or university?
Sample Response
Many people attend to university or collage after their high school years for several reason which they choose by them self. I believe that the most common reason why people attend to university or collage to have new experiences on life, to prepare for a career, and to increase their knowledge of their personality.
Secondly, many people go to university or collage to prepare for a career. Career training is becoming more important nowadays to young people compared to old people. At college, students learn many skills for their career and they intern to internship with a lot of chances. All of these things prepare them for their career.
Also, students attend university or college to increase their self-knowledge of their personality on life. They attend for that to increase their knowledge in subjects which they find interesting. For example, many students study science because they are iinterest in science but they work on the business area.
To sum up, I think people should not only focus on a career when they go to university or college. They have to follow to have new experience and knowledge about their personality and the great world around them which they live in.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove incorrect preposition Original: Many people attend to university Suggested revision: Many people attend university Why it matters: Attend takes a direct object and does not require to here.
- 2. Correct spelling Original: collage Suggested revision: college Why it matters: College is the correct word for an institution of higher education.
- 3. Use plural noun Original: reason Suggested revision: reasons Why it matters: Several must be followed by a plural countable noun.
- 4. Use reflexive pronoun Original: them self Suggested revision: themselves Why it matters: The plural reflexive pronoun must be written as one word.
- 5. Correct sequence marker Original: Secondly Suggested revision: First Why it matters: This is the first body reason presented, so the sequence should begin with First.
- 6. Correct spelling Original: collage Suggested revision: college Why it matters: College is misspelled in this occurrence.
- 7. Use precise collocation Original: skills for their career Suggested revision: career-related skills Why it matters: Career-related skills expresses the intended relationship more precisely.
- 8. Clarify reference Original: All of these things Suggested revision: These skills and internship opportunities Why it matters: Naming the preceding points creates a clearer reference.
- 9. Avoid repetition Original: prepare them for their career Suggested revision: prepare them for employment Why it matters: Employment avoids repeating career while preserving the meaning.
- 10. Use formal transition Original: Also, students Suggested revision: In addition, students Why it matters: In addition provides a clearer formal link to the next reason.
- 11. Clarify expression Original: self-knowledge of their personality on life Suggested revision: understanding of themselves and life Why it matters: The original noun phrase uses unnatural and unclear collocations.
- 12. Correct purpose structure Original: They attend for that to increase Suggested revision: They attend in order to increase Why it matters: In order to correctly introduces the purpose of attending.
Suggested Rewrites
- Many people attend to university Many people attend university
- collage college
- reason reasons
- them self themselves
- Secondly First
- collage college
Why this response received Band 5.0
The response has a recognisable structure and identifies several relevant reasons for attending university, especially career preparation and intellectual interest. However, it is substantially under length, one promised reason is not developed, and the explanations are brief or unclear. The highest priority is to add a fully developed paragraph for each distinct reason, using precise explanation and a relevant example while avoiding repetition.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Several relevant reasons are identified, but the under-length response develops them only briefly and omits meaningful treatment of new experiences.
Explain each listed reason in its own paragraph with a clear cause, consequence, and concrete example, while meeting the required length.
Coherence and Cohesion
Basic paragraphing and a clear overall direction are present, although progression is mechanical and some links between ideas are unclear.
Use a consistent sequence of focused body paragraphs and make each sentence extend the central reason rather than repeat it.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary communicates the main ideas, but repetition, spelling mistakes, and frequent unnatural word combinations limit precision.
Replace repeated general nouns with accurate topic vocabulary and proofread forms such as college, interested, and themselves.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Simple and some complex sentences are attempted, but frequent errors in verbs, agreement, plurals, and prepositions reduce control.
Build complete subject-verb clauses first, then check every sentence for agreement, verb form, and necessary articles or prepositions.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Why do you think people attend college or university?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.