The international community must act immediately to ensure all nations to reduce their consumption of fossil fuels e.g. gas and oil. To what extent do you agree/ disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your choice.
Sample Response
Increasing consumptions of fossil fuels have resulted in the emission of the greenhouse gas which is one of the causes of issues relating to environmental damage in recent years. Therefore, some people suggest that all countries should take actions urgently to lessen the usage of the harmful energy. From my personal view, I agree with the statement to some extent.
First of all, it cannot be denied that fossil fuel is one of the major contributors to global warming and climate change. Indeed, the burning of oil and coal produces tonnes of carbon dioxide per year, and it is one of the greenhouse gases that enhance radioactive forcing and contribute to global warming. The rise in temperature of the Earth has associated with numerous of adverse effects such as melting of polar ice caps, flooding of low-lying areas and rise to the sea level.
Secondly, fossil fuels are generally considered to be non-renewable resources because they take millions of years to form. If the utilisation of mineral fuels is not reduced and controlled, it could be exhausted and people may soon run short of fossil fuels while scientists have not found an alternative energy source. As a result, the price of fossil fuels has also increased greatly which could lead countries to fall into a fuel war.
However, there might be some concerns about the reduction of mineral fuels utilisation. One among of them is that the approach will lead to failure to maintain well-balanced social order. In fact, manufacture industry, transportation and even home heating require powers, which are generated through fossil fuels. Accordingly, detrimental consequences might impact to the development of the entire the world if we cut down the use of fossil fuel immediately. More than that, some alternative powers such as nuclear, solar and wind power have not been applied widely due to reasons like climate condition, high cost or safety requirement. It could take scientist many years developing these energies to be perfect substitutes for fossil fuel.
In conclusion, in order to tackle environment problems and avoid the growing scarcity of natural energy in the future, the reduction in the consumption of fossil fuels should be considered and planned purposefully and gradually.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use uncountable noun Original: consumptions Suggested revision: consumption Why it matters: Consumption is uncountable when referring generally to the use of fossil fuels.
- 2. Match singular subject Original: have Suggested revision: has Why it matters: The singular subject consumption requires the singular auxiliary has.
- 3. Use natural term Original: the emission of the greenhouse gas Suggested revision: greenhouse gas emissions Why it matters: Greenhouse gas emissions is the standard concise expression for gases released by fossil-fuel use.
- 4. Use fixed collocation Original: take actions urgently Suggested revision: take urgent action Why it matters: Take action is the fixed uncountable collocation in this context.
- 5. Clarify energy reference Original: lessen the usage of the harmful energy Suggested revision: reduce the use of these harmful energy sources Why it matters: Reduce the use of energy sources is more precise and grammatically complete.
- 6. Use idiomatic phrase Original: From my personal view Suggested revision: In my view Why it matters: In my view is the idiomatic expression for stating an opinion.
- 7. Fix general reference Original: fossil fuel is one of the major contributors Suggested revision: fossil fuels are major contributors Why it matters: The general claim requires the plural noun and corresponding plural verb.
- 8. Correct technical term Original: enhance radioactive forcing Suggested revision: increase radiative forcing Why it matters: Radiative forcing is the relevant term, whereas radioactive refers to nuclear decay.
- 9. Use passive form Original: has associated with Suggested revision: has been associated with Why it matters: Associate requires the passive form has been associated when no agent is named.
- 10. Remove extra preposition Original: numerous of adverse effects Suggested revision: numerous adverse effects Why it matters: Numerous directly modifies a plural noun and is not followed by of.
- 11. Use natural expression Original: rise to the sea level Suggested revision: rising sea levels Why it matters: Rising sea levels is the conventional expression for this environmental effect.
- 12. Clarify pronoun reference Original: it could be exhausted Suggested revision: these resources could be exhausted Why it matters: The pronoun it incorrectly refers back to utilisation rather than the plural fuels.
Suggested Rewrites
- consumptions consumption
- have has
- the emission of the greenhouse gas greenhouse gas emissions
- take actions urgently take urgent action
- lessen the usage of the harmful energy reduce the use of these harmful energy sources
- From my personal view In my view
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response presents a clear, nuanced position and develops relevant reasons for reducing fossil-fuel use while acknowledging the risks of an immediate transition. Its main limitation is recurring imprecision in grammar and collocation, which sometimes makes otherwise strong arguments sound awkward. The highest priority is to retain the logical structure while editing noun forms, verb patterns, articles, and technical word choice for greater accuracy.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A consistent qualified position is supported by developed arguments about climate damage, scarcity, and the practical difficulty of immediate reductions.
Strengthen the case further with a concrete example of how international coordination could enable a gradual transition.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through clearly focused paragraphs, and the contrast between urgency and practical constraints is easy to follow.
Use a few less formulaic transitions and make causal links within paragraphs more concise.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a broad topic-specific range, though several inaccurate collocations and technical choices reduce precision.
Check natural combinations for energy, industry, environmental effects, and technological development before finalising the essay.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied complex sentences communicate the argument clearly, but errors in agreement, articles, countability, prepositions, and verb patterns recur.
Edit each sentence for noun form and agreement, then check articles and verb complements in complex constructions.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The international community must act immediately to ensure all nations to reduce their consumption of fossil fuels e.g. gas and oil. To what extent do you agree/ disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your choice.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.