The wealth gap between 1st world countries and 3rd world countries seems to be increasing. How can we reduce this gap? Do you think that developed countries have a duty to assist developing countries in every way?
Sample Response
First world countries are the most developed countries as oppose to 3rd world countries which are least developed.The financial gap between the two sides is increasing with every passing day. I strongly agree that developed nations have an ethical and moral obligation to support the underdeveloped countries in every possible way.
It is a known fact that world economy is being controlled by developed countries. There exist the forums like G8 which consist of top eight developed countries of the world. Global economic policies are being made during their meetings which drive the world economy. While making the policies at the highest stage of the world, members of developed countries should keep in mind the poverty in developing and under developed countries. The wealth gap between the developed and developing countries can be reduced by making economic policies which are friendly and least hostile towards the developing countries.
Apart from the policies, it is also a moral and ethical duty of developed countries to support the underdeveloped countries. A development project in an underdeveloped country will not only provide a way of growth but also create many new jobs for the local public. Similarly, Governments and NGOs of the rich countries should provide financial aid in the field of education, health, energy, etc. This will also help in reducing the wealth gap along with the development of the poor and needy nation.
In the end, it is concluded that financial and wealth gap can be reduced by making good economic policies, by investing in the development projects and by providing the financial aid. Rich countries and rich people should provide assistance to poor countries and poor people respectively.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use correct form Original: as oppose to Suggested revision: as opposed to Why it matters: The fixed comparative phrase requires the past participle opposed.
- 2. Add the article Original: which are least developed Suggested revision: which are the least developed Why it matters: The superlative least developed requires the definite article here.
- 3. Add definite article Original: world economy Suggested revision: the world economy Why it matters: The singular noun phrase refers to the global economy and therefore needs the definite article.
- 4. Fix existential form Original: There exist the forums Suggested revision: There are forums Why it matters: The plural existential construction is formed naturally with there are.
- 5. Correct the noun phrase Original: which consist of top eight Suggested revision: consisting of eight major Why it matters: The revision removes the ambiguous relative-clause reference and supplies a natural modifier order.
- 6. Clarify clause connection Original: during their meetings which Suggested revision: at their meetings and Why it matters: The coordinator makes clear that the policies, rather than the meetings, drive the economy.
- 7. Use natural expression Original: at the highest stage of the world Suggested revision: at the highest level of global decision-making Why it matters: Level is the appropriate term for the senior position at which policies are made.
- 8. Name people accurately Original: members of developed countries Suggested revision: representatives of developed countries Why it matters: Countries have representatives in policy forums rather than members in this sense.
- 9. Use one word Original: under developed Suggested revision: underdeveloped Why it matters: The adjective is conventionally written as one word.
- 10. Improve collocation Original: provide a way of growth Suggested revision: create opportunities for growth Why it matters: Create opportunities for growth is the natural collocation for enabling development.
- 11. Choose precise noun Original: local public Suggested revision: local population Why it matters: Population refers more naturally to residents who may receive the jobs.
- 12. Use lower case Original: Governments Suggested revision: governments Why it matters: A common noun in the middle of a sentence should not be capitalised.
Suggested Rewrites
- as oppose to as opposed to
- which are least developed which are the least developed
- world economy the world economy
- There exist the forums There are forums
- which consist of top eight consisting of eight major
- during their meetings which at their meetings and
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response has a clear position and a logical set of relevant proposals, including fairer economic policy, development projects, and targeted aid. Its main weakness is that these solutions and the claim of an all-encompassing duty are explained in broad terms rather than critically developed, while recurring article, agreement, and collocation errors reduce precision. Prioritise deeper explanation of how each measure would narrow the gap.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Both questions are answered with a consistent position and several relevant solutions, but the supporting explanation remains somewhat general.
Develop one or two solutions in greater depth by showing their mechanisms, practical limits, and likely effects on wealth inequality.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a clear progression from economic policy to direct assistance, with appropriate paragraphing and generally effective linking.
Use more precise internal transitions to show how each proposed measure connects to the central aim of reducing the wealth gap.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is sufficient for the topic and includes some less common economic terms, but repetition and awkward collocations limit flexibility and precision.
Replace repeated labels such as 'developed countries' and revise unnatural phrases such as 'a way of growth' with precise academic alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The writer uses a mix of simple and complex sentences successfully, although recurring article, agreement, spacing, and preposition errors are noticeable.
Proofread noun phrases and subject-verb agreement systematically, especially articles before singular countable nouns and agreement in relative clauses.
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