The private motor vehicle has greatly improved individual freedom of movement. Moreover, the automobile has become a status symbol. Yet the use of private motor vehicles has contributed to some of today’s most serious problems. How can the use of private motor vehicle be reduced? What is your view? Discuss.
Sample Response
The wheel is considered by many as the greatest invention in human history and the motor vehicles that we use these days is the main reason we live in the industrial age. The ease of transportation and freedom to move goods from one place to another is the main driving factor for a modern era. Yet, the use of private vehicles endangers the environment to a great extent and leads to many serious problems including sound and air pollution, accident, congestions on roads and many more. There are many steps we can take to reduce the number of private motor vehicles running on roads to ensure the safety of the environment and to make the world livable for the upcoming generations.
First of all, improving the public transportation system would encourage people to use those instead of relying on their private cars. People mostly buy private cars to have a comfortable commuting experience though maintaining private cars is far more expensive. If the public transportation facility is improved, many people would reduce using their private vehicles. Secondly, increasing the price of fuel could be another great measure to discourage people from using and buying private cars. It is natural that enhanced fuel price would increase the cost of maintaining private cars and thus more people would think twice before purchasing a new car. In addition, more taxes should be imposed on private car ownership.
Thirdly, traffic rules should be more strictly imposed and practised so that people can’t use private cars if there are less than 3 passengers in the car. This rule is applied in many cities and thus they have successfully reduced the number of private cars running on their roads. For goods transportation, water and railway should be used. Usually, water and rail transports can carry a great more amount of products than the road vehicles and that should be strictly followed. Then, individual awareness is required to reduce the use of private cars. People tend to use their cars even for a small distance. Walking and cycling should be promoted so that people rely on their cars less and thus pollute the environment less. Finally, the ownership of cars should be restricted based on the number of family members, the number of vehicles a single family can purchase and based on their gross incomes.
In conclusion, the private motor vehicles have great advantages but they severely pollute the environment. Hence their usages should be reduced by promoting public transportations, making laws strict, increasing fuel price and by creating awareness among mass people.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix subject agreement Original: is Suggested revision: are Why it matters: The plural subject 'motor vehicles' requires 'are'.
- 2. Clarify the claim Original: the main reason we live in the industrial age Suggested revision: a major feature of the industrial age Why it matters: Vehicles are a feature of the industrial age, while calling them its main cause is unclear.
- 3. Use natural phrase Original: the main driving factor for a modern era Suggested revision: major driving forces of modern life Why it matters: The plural complement matches the two subjects and uses a natural academic collocation.
- 4. Fix plural agreement Original: endangers Suggested revision: endanger Why it matters: The plural subject requires the base-form verb.
- 5. Use standard pollution term Original: sound Suggested revision: noise Why it matters: 'Noise pollution' is the established environmental term.
- 6. Fix list nouns Original: accident, congestions on roads Suggested revision: accidents, road congestion Why it matters: Accidents are countable and plural here, while congestion is normally uncountable.
- 7. Complete the reference Original: and many more Suggested revision: and other problems Why it matters: The replacement names the omitted category and avoids an incomplete comparative phrase.
- 8. Add article Original: running on roads Suggested revision: running on the roads Why it matters: The general road network is conventionally expressed with the definite article here.
- 9. Fix pronoun reference Original: those Suggested revision: it Why it matters: The antecedent 'public transportation system' is singular, so the pronoun must be singular.
- 10. Punctuate concession Original: commuting experience though Suggested revision: commuting experience, although Why it matters: A comma and subordinating conjunction correctly introduce the contrasting clause.
- 11. Fix reduce pattern Original: reduce using their private vehicles Suggested revision: reduce their use of private vehicles Why it matters: 'Reduce' takes the noun phrase 'use of' rather than a gerund in this construction.
- 12. Use price collocation Original: enhanced fuel price Suggested revision: higher fuel prices Why it matters: Prices are described as 'higher', and the general reference should be plural.
Suggested Rewrites
- is are
- the main reason we live in the industrial age a major feature of the industrial age
- the main driving factor for a modern era major driving forces of modern life
- endangers endanger
- sound noise
- accident, congestions on roads accidents, road congestion
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response takes a clear position and develops an extensive, logically ordered set of measures, with public transport, pricing, regulation, and behavioural change all linked to reduced car use. Its main limitation is that some proposals are asserted too broadly and recurring language inaccuracies reduce precision. The highest priority is to select the most feasible measures, evaluate how they would work, and edit collocations, agreement, and countable nouns carefully.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response fully addresses the task with a clear view and a wide range of relevant, generally well-explained measures.
Prioritise the most realistic policies and assess their likely effectiveness instead of adding further undeveloped restrictions.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas progress logically through well-focused stages, although the long third paragraph contains several distinct measures and the sequencing is somewhat mechanical.
Group related policies into separate, purpose-led paragraphs and use subtler links between causes, measures, and outcomes.
Lexical Resource
A broad topic-specific vocabulary supports detailed discussion, but recurring awkward collocations and countability errors reduce naturalness and precision.
Refine combinations such as impose traffic rules, higher fuel prices, rail transport, and car use, checking singular and plural forms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures with generally clear meaning, though agreement, article, comparison, and noun-form errors recur.
Proofread each sentence for subject-verb agreement and countable-noun forms, especially where long subjects separate the noun from its verb.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The private motor vehicle has greatly improved individual freedom of movement. Moreover, the automobile has become a status symbol. Yet the use of private motor vehicles has contributed to some of today’s most serious problems. How can the use of private motor vehicle be reduced? What is your view? Discuss.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.