The only way to reduce the amount of traffic in cities today is by reducing the need for people to travel from home for work, education or shopping. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
On the one hand, it is undoubtedly true that if individuals are ready to work, study at home and also follow online shopping strategies, the number of vehicles inroads is comparatively decreased. For example, during the Covid pandemic time, employees were restricted from travelling, pupils began online learning systems, and housemakers were part of the online purchase culture. This has helped both Urban and sub-urban areas to reduce traffic conjunction, accidents and ailments. Apart from this, this culture will help organizations to reduce their cost in attainable ways.
On the other hand, as part of job nature and business matters, employees have to travel to all parts of the world, students want to go to their school for learning, and individuals have entered the market for their household chores. Nobody can jeopardize these activities in the name of traffic. These are our imperative daily activities. To reduce traffic in city areas, society should have classical infrastructure and roads, the same as in European or Gulf countries. This will help reduce the ratio of huge traffic sporadically.
Furthermore, classical road laws always help to curb the density of traffic in metros. As a developing country, these types of updated laws are part of the betterment of the development of society. Lastly, stringent actions should be taken against violators in urban areas. This will help to be a warm awareness to the public and also help to deterioration of traffic. For example, in GCC countries, traffic signal violators should get 48 hours of imprisonment without fail. The governments in GCC countries agree that these strict rules help them to hamper the violators, and they also it help to reduce traffic accidents.
In conclusion, it is undoubtedly true that rather than restricting the public in their daily activities, it is advisable to serve them in effective ways. It will curb all the road catastrophes.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural phrasing Original: follow online shopping strategies Suggested revision: shop online Why it matters: This is the natural expression for purchasing goods via the internet.
- 2. Fix clause grammar Original: the number of vehicles inroads is comparatively decreased Suggested revision: the number of vehicles on the roads decreases Why it matters: The revised phrase fixes the missing preposition and uses an appropriate active verb.
- 3. Use standard term Original: Covid pandemic time Suggested revision: COVID-19 pandemic Why it matters: This is the standard concise name for the period described.
- 4. Use natural collocation Original: pupils began online learning systems Suggested revision: pupils began learning online Why it matters: Learners begin an activity rather than a learning system.
- 5. Correct word form Original: housemakers Suggested revision: homemakers Why it matters: Homemakers is the correct word for people managing a household.
- 6. State action directly Original: were part of the online purchase culture Suggested revision: began shopping online Why it matters: The revision expresses the intended action clearly and naturally.
- 7. Fix capitalization Original: Urban and sub-urban Suggested revision: urban and suburban Why it matters: These ordinary adjectives should be lowercase, and suburban is written as one word.
- 8. Correct traffic term Original: conjunction Suggested revision: congestion Why it matters: Congestion is the correct noun for overcrowded roads.
- 9. Fix number and phrasing Original: their cost in attainable ways Suggested revision: their costs considerably Why it matters: Costs should be plural here, and considerably expresses the intended degree naturally.
- 10. Choose accurate verb Original: jeopardize Suggested revision: prohibit Why it matters: Jeopardize means endanger, whereas the intended meaning is prevent or forbid.
- 11. Use precise adjective Original: imperative Suggested revision: essential Why it matters: Essential describes necessary routine activities more naturally in this context.
- 12. Correct word choice Original: classical Suggested revision: modern Why it matters: Classical does not describe up-to-date transport infrastructure.
Suggested Rewrites
- follow online shopping strategies shop online
- the number of vehicles inroads is comparatively decreased the number of vehicles on the roads decreases
- Covid pandemic time COVID-19 pandemic
- pupils began online learning systems pupils began learning online
- housemakers homemakers
- were part of the online purchase culture began shopping online
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response maintains a recognizable disagreement with the claim and offers several relevant alternatives, including better infrastructure and stricter enforcement. Its main weakness is uneven development: some examples concern accidents or organizational costs rather than directly proving how urban traffic volume can be reduced, while frequent awkward word choices and grammatical errors strain clarity. Prioritize a clear thesis and develop two directly relevant reasons with precise, natural language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses the claim with a generally clear disagreement and relevant alternatives, although several supporting points are indirect or insufficiently developed.
State the degree of disagreement explicitly at the start and explain how each proposed measure reduces traffic volume rather than accidents alone.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure and overall movement from concession to alternatives are clear, but some linking is mechanical and progression within paragraphs is uneven.
Give each body paragraph one controlling idea and arrange its supporting sentences in a clear cause-and-effect sequence.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts a reasonably broad vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices make several statements unnatural or unclear.
Replace imprecise expressions with standard traffic-related language such as congestion, road capacity, enforcement, and public awareness.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of sentence forms is attempted, but frequent errors in articles, agreement, verb patterns, and clause construction reduce accuracy and clarity.
Use shorter complex sentences with one main clause and check subject-verb agreement, articles, and verb complements carefully.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The only way to reduce the amount of traffic in cities today is by reducing the need for people to travel from home for work, education or shopping. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.