Most young people without a partner would prefer to have a boyfriend or girlfriend. Yet being in a relationship when you are young is not always a good idea. Do you agree or disagree?
This response is estimated at Band 7.0. Can you write a better one?
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Sample Response
During youthWhen you are young, there is often a great deal of peer pressure placed on themput upon you to be in a relationship. Although most young people spend a lot of time dreaming about finding the right boyfriend or girlfriend, I believe that early relationships can lead to many problems which young men and womenwoman might not be able to solve easily.
To begin with, having a romantic partnerhaving a special one is a greatlarge responsibility. It takes up a lot of time looking after the needs and interests of a person. It could be a better use of time to study or play sportsbetter use of time studying or playing sport. DeleteAfter all, there will be plenty of opportunitiesopportunity for young people to share their lives later, whenthen they are grown up.
On the other handhands, some people would argue that today's youth are better informed than previous generations and, therefore, might be more capable of making a relationship succeed. This may be true, but young people today still have many emotional problems to face; in a relationship it is more difficult. As far as the parents are concerned over their adolescents, another challenge of having a relationship in the early yearsin early years of one's life is financial hardship. Some activities are cheaper to do together but most are not. Often one partner has more money than the other and must pay for both when, for instance, they go to a restaurant or to the cinemamovies. Also, young people tend to buy each other gifts and maylove to buy each other gifts, and may try to impress by spending more than necessary.
In general, while it is true that, for young people, finding their life partnerspecial partner in life is wonderful, there are often many difficult issues to cope with in a committed relationshipfull-time relationship.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay presents a clear and consistent stance on the prompt, supporting its position with relevant arguments regarding time management, emotional maturity, and financial burdens. While the response is logically organized and easy to follow, occasional awkward phrasing and minor grammatical errors slightly reduce the polish of the writing. Focusing on refining fixed expressions and ensuring precise preposition and clause usage will help elevate the response further.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response presents a clear opinion throughout the essay and supports it with relevant reasons such as time commitments, emotional challenges, and financial stress.
Deepen the supporting points by offering more concrete examples or expanding on how these challenges specifically impact young people.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is organized logically across clear paragraphs with a smooth flow of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion.
Refine transitional phrases to ensure accurate fixed expressions and seamless paragraph connections.
Lexical Resource
A good range of vocabulary is used appropriately to discuss relationships, responsibilities, and financial matters.
Aim for more natural collocation choices and avoid overly informal phrases like 'having a special one'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex structures is used with generally good grammatical control, though a few minor errors are present.
Pay closer attention to time clauses and fixed idiom structures to eliminate minor slip-ups.