Remote work has become increasingly common in recent years. Some argue this impairs work habits generally. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Remote work has grown rapidly in recent years, and some people claim this shift has led to a decline in work discipline and productivity. However, I only partly agree with this view. While remote working can create challenges for some individuals, it can also improve work habits when supported by appropriate systems and personal responsibility. On the one hand, remote work may negatively affect work habits if employees struggle with self-management. Working from home can blur the boundary between personal and professional life, making it easier for people to become distracted by household responsibilities, social media, or family members. For instance, though people say they can do the laundry or pick up their children more easily whilst remote working, this may end up using time that should be spent working. Without direct supervision, some employees may also find it difficult to maintain motivation or structure their day effectively, which can result in missed deadlines, reduced productivity, or inconsistent working patterns. On the other hand, this way of work can be beneficial for many people. The absence of commuting saves time and reduces stress, allowing employees to begin their tasks earlier or take breaks more efficiently. Additionally, remote work often requires employees to plan their days more carefully, which can result in enhanced time-management and organisational skills. Many companies also use digital tools to track progress and encourage collaboration, meaning that teamwork and productivity can remain high even without face-to-face interaction. In, I only partly agree with the claim. While remote work can impair work habits in some cases, it does not inevitably do so. The impact depends largely on individual discipline and the support systems provided by employers.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Name the group precisely Original: individuals Suggested revision: employees Why it matters: Employees identifies the people affected by the working arrangement more precisely.
- 2. Use a concise verb Original: may negatively affect Suggested revision: may impair Why it matters: Impair expresses the same negative effect more concisely.
- 3. Remove unnecessary wording Original: become Suggested revision: be Why it matters: The simpler passive construction conveys the distraction without an unnecessary change-of-state verb.
- 4. Improve parallel phrasing Original: maintain motivation or structure their day effectively Suggested revision: stay motivated or structure their days effectively Why it matters: The revision makes the coordinated actions more natural and aligns the plural possessive with employees.
- 5. Correct the noun phrase Original: this way of work Suggested revision: this working arrangement Why it matters: Way of work is not the natural noun phrase for a mode of employment.
- 6. Use natural phrasing Original: begin their tasks earlier Suggested revision: start work earlier Why it matters: Start work is the more natural collocation for beginning the working day.
- 7. Improve the collocation Original: take breaks more efficiently Suggested revision: manage their breaks more efficiently Why it matters: Efficiency describes the management of breaks more naturally than the act of taking them.
- 8. Choose a natural adjective Original: enhanced Suggested revision: improved Why it matters: Improved collocates more naturally with skills developed through practice.
- 9. Use precise attribution Original: some people claim Suggested revision: some critics argue Why it matters: Critics identifies the group as people who oppose the trend and argue is more suitable for a debatable claim.
- 10. Make the phrase concise Original: a decline in work discipline and productivity Suggested revision: declining work discipline and productivity Why it matters: The participial form states the same change more compactly.
- 11. Clarify the modifier Original: when supported by appropriate systems and personal responsibility Suggested revision: when appropriate systems are in place and employees take personal responsibility Why it matters: The revision makes clear how both systems and individual responsibility support effective remote work.
- 12. Sentence rewrite Original: For instance, though people say they can do the laundry or pick up their children more easily whilst remote working, this may end up using time that should be spent working. Suggested revision: For instance, although remote workers may find it easier to do laundry or collect their children, these activities can consume time intended for work. Why it matters: The rewrite removes vague attribution and gives the pronoun a clear referent while preserving the example.
Suggested Rewrites
- individuals employees
- may negatively affect may impair
- become be
- maintain motivation or structure their day effectively stay motivated or structure their days effectively
- this way of work this working arrangement
- begin their tasks earlier start work earlier
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response sustains a clear, nuanced position and develops both the risks and benefits of remote work with relevant, specific explanations. Its main limitation is a small cluster of awkward or incomplete expressions, especially at the opening of the conclusion, alongside the lack of visible paragraph breaks. The highest priority is to proofread sentence openings and organise the opposing sides into clearly separated paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay fully answers the extent question, maintains a consistent partial-agreement position, and supports both sides with relevant causes and consequences.
Deepen the second side with one more concrete illustration of how employer systems improve remote work habits.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas follow a clear introduction, balanced discussion, and conclusion, with effective internal progression despite the response appearing as one continuous paragraph.
Use distinct paragraphs for the disadvantages, advantages, and conclusion, and repair the abrupt concluding transition.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a broad and generally precise range of work-related vocabulary, including self-management, direct supervision, and organisational skills.
Replace awkward phrasing such as this way of work with more natural collocations and check fixed expressions during proofreading.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are varied and mostly well controlled, while a few local errors remain noticeable but do not disrupt communication.
Proofread sentence boundaries and missing words, particularly the malformed opening In, at the start of the conclusion.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Remote work has become increasingly common in recent years. Some argue this impairs work habits generally. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.