Many employees can now do their work from home using modern technology. However, this change may only benefit workers, not the employers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Working remotely has become a common practice for many employees in the modern world as a result of technological advances. However, some people argue that this change may only be advantageous for the workers, not the employers. I agree with this view to a large extent, as convenience and freedom for employees may not adequately compensate for the challenges facing employers.
There are several reasons why working from home may be beneficial to workers. One of the main benefits is that it can conserve the time and money that they would otherwise expend on commuting, dressing up, and eating out. This is especially true for those who normally take over an hour to commute to work. By working at home, they can avoid the traffic, the fuel, and the parking fees, and utilize the extra time for other purposes. Another benefit is that remote working offers employees more flexibility and autonomy to manage their own schedule and work environment. This can help facilitate a healthy work-life balance, in turn reducing stress while increasing job satisfaction.
On the other hand, allowing staff to telecommute may negatively affect employers in several ways. One of the main drawbacks is that they may have to forfeit control and oversight of their employees, as they cannot supervise their work progress and performance as effortlessly as in the office. For example, supervisors and managers may not be able to detect or rectify any staff-related problems that may occur, which can affect the company’s outcomes. Another challenge for employers is that they may encounter communication and collaboration difficulties due to the absence of face-to-face interaction with employees. Indeed, an employer who has a complex or creative project may have to coordinate with their telecommuting employees through emails, calls, or chats, the process of which can be slow and convoluted, thus impeding the innovation and the productivity of the work.
In conclusion, working from home may be beneficial for workers, but not necessarily for employers. While workers may relish more convenience, flexibility, and balance, it is possible that employers would suffer from less control and communication issues without proper precautions.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Refine comparison Original: advantageous for the workers, not the employers Suggested revision: advantageous to workers but not employers Why it matters: Advantageous to is the more natural collocation, and but makes the contrast explicit.
- 2. Fix collocation Original: conserve Suggested revision: save Why it matters: People save time and money; conserve is not idiomatic for this everyday benefit.
- 3. Use natural verb Original: expend Suggested revision: spend Why it matters: Spend is the natural verb for personal time and money in this context.
- 4. Clarify meaning Original: dressing up Suggested revision: dressing for work Why it matters: Dressing up usually implies formal or special-occasion clothing rather than routine work preparation.
- 5. Use precise phrasing Original: forfeit control and oversight of their employees Suggested revision: lose some control over and oversight of their employees Why it matters: The revision adds the required preposition after control and avoids the overly absolute verb forfeit.
- 6. Complete comparison Original: as effortlessly as in the office Suggested revision: as easily as they could in the office Why it matters: The revision supplies the missing comparative clause and uses a more suitable adverb for supervision.
- 7. Use precise noun Original: outcomes Suggested revision: performance Why it matters: Performance more clearly describes the business result that staff problems may affect.
- 8. Fix relative structure Original: the process of which Suggested revision: a process that Why it matters: The original relative construction does not grammatically refer back to the coordination process.
- 9. Remove awkward phrasing Original: impeding the innovation and the productivity of the work Suggested revision: impeding innovation and productivity Why it matters: The abstract nouns do not need definite articles, and of the work is redundant.
- 10. Improve collocation Original: relish more convenience Suggested revision: enjoy greater convenience Why it matters: Enjoy greater convenience is the conventional expression for this benefit.
- 11. Sentence rewrite Original: By working at home, they can avoid the traffic, the fuel, and the parking fees, and utilize the extra time for other purposes. Suggested revision: By working at home, they can avoid traffic, save on fuel and parking fees, and use the extra time for other purposes. Why it matters: The rewrite corrects the illogical claim that workers avoid fuel and improves the parallel list.
Suggested Rewrites
- advantageous for the workers, not the employers advantageous to workers but not employers
- conserve save
- expend spend
- dressing up dressing for work
- forfeit control and oversight of their employees lose some control over and oversight of their employees
- as effortlessly as in the office as easily as they could in the office
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response directly addresses the proposition with a clear qualified stance, well-developed reasoning, and specific explanations of how remote work affects both employees and employers. Its main limitation is occasional imprecision in otherwise flexible vocabulary and a somewhat formulaic pattern of idea introduction. Refine a few collocations and vary the internal framing of supporting points to make the argument more natural and polished.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The qualified position is clear throughout, and the benefits for workers and disadvantages for employers are relevant, extended, and convincingly supported.
For still greater depth, briefly acknowledge a plausible employer benefit and explain why it does not outweigh the identified drawbacks.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay progresses logically from the stated position through two well-focused body paragraphs to a consistent conclusion, with cohesive devices used effectively.
Vary the repeated pattern of announcing one main point and then another so paragraph development feels less formulaic.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, precise, and flexible across the topic, with only occasional awkward combinations such as conserving time and avoiding fuel.
Refine the few non-idiomatic collocations while retaining the response's accurate and appropriately formal lexical range.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are frequent, varied, and accurately controlled, with only rare minor phrasing or article issues that do not impede communication.
Polish the occasional dense relative construction and article choice to make already strong sentences more concise and natural.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many employees can now do their work from home using modern technology. However, this change may only benefit workers, not the employers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.