Some people believe that to reduce the time people spend commuting, parks and gardens close to city centres should be replaced by apartment buildings. Others disagree with this idea. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
People have different viewsa different view concerning replacing green areas (gardens and parks) with the working place. While some believe that community playgrounds near the metropolitan must be altered with the office, others feel it is unnecessary. Also, I think it should not be done because it is one of the main placesthe main place for social gatherings and relievingreleasing stress.
On the one hand, many reasons people believe the green place near the city should be replaced. First, it reduces commuting timesaves up-down time and reduces the amountnumber of traffic on the road during peak hours because more people use the pavements to reach the office. Ultimately, it helps to save the environment. Secondly,The second one, people can save money and timesave the cost and time of commuting, which helpsaid them in using their time more productivelyenhancing their productive time in the office. Thus, replacing public areas with workplacesalteration of the public area with working place is useful.
On the other hand, those who believe the above idea is not worthy of providing their view. Firstly, those places are the main source of social gatherings. People may spend their spare time with friends and family, which helps them release the anxiety and stress of the whole day. Secondly, whenThe second one is when the office building comes close to residential areasthe living place, it negatively influences the environment. For instance, carbon dioxide emissions will increase because of factory fumeswill be increased with the fume of the factory. Eventually, that change is not effective for anyone, neither for people nor for the environmentnot for people or the atmosphere.
In my opinion, the green area should not be replaced with buildingsbuilding at any cost as it is not good for human health and the environment.
In conclusion, although some people feel parkland should be replaced with a workplacechanged with a place to work, other people have a contrary view. I agree thatI feel the same that replacement is not worth it due to the usefulness of those places in social bonding and saving the environment.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response has a clear opinion and a recognisable discussion structure, with separate paragraphs for each side. Its central limitation is a major misreading of apartment buildings as offices or workplaces, so much of the commuting argument does not answer the actual proposal; frequent awkward phrasing also weakens precision. The priority is to identify the exact proposed change first, then develop relevant reasons about housing, commuting, and urban green space in clearer sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position and both sides are presented, but the repeated substitution of offices for apartment buildings means the task is only partially addressed.
Base every main idea on the actual proposal to replace central green spaces with housing and explain how that could affect commuting.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing gives the response an evident overall progression, although linking is mechanical and some reasoning connections are unclear.
Build each body paragraph around one accurate claim and connect its explanation and example directly to that claim.
Lexical Resource
The response shows some range, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices reduce precision and naturalness.
Replace phrases such as 'altered with the office' and 'number of traffic' with accurate, conventional expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Simple and complex forms are attempted, but recurring errors in articles, agreement, sentence construction, and prepositions remain noticeable.
Prioritise complete clause structures and accurate noun phrases, especially articles and singular-plural agreement, before adding complexity.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that to reduce the time people spend commuting, parks and gardens close to city centres should be replaced by apartment buildings. Others disagree with this idea. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.