Schools are no longer necessary because children can get so much information available through the Internet, and they can study just as well at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Since there is a wealth of information available on the Internet, students can study by themselves at home just as effectively as they do at school; and therefore some people believe that schools are not needed anymore. In my view, much as I agree that students can study well at home with the help of the Internet, I feel that schools play a vital role in our society and cannot be replaced no matter what.
There are ways for children to learn from the Internet, most of which are either free or affordable for almost everyone. One great way is from online newspapers and video websites such as National Geographic and Youtube, which offers a variety of topic areas suitable for people of different ages. Children can learn a great deal of knowledge about culture, science, and many other areas which they are taught at schools. Also, they can participate in online courses favored by a growing number of youths nowadays. This type learning is even more advantageous in the sense that children can flexibly choose to study whatever subjects they are interested in.
That being said, my conviction is that formal education is irreplaceable in any society. It is true that students can acquire knowledge at home very easily with the help of the Internet; however, lack of teachers’ guidance and peer support is a clear disadvantage to this form of learning. These factors are extremely important to a child’s intellectual development, which emphasizes the necessity of school environments. Furthermore, knowledge and skills are not the only things to expect from formal education but social relationships and mental development. Children who go to school and establish friendships can both have fun and improve their learning outcomes.
In conclusion, the Internet is a good way for young children to study at home, but I think that claiming schools are irrelevant to children’s learning because of this is merely absurd.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix connector punctuation Original: ; and therefore Suggested revision: ; therefore, Why it matters: After a semicolon, “therefore” functions as a conjunctive adverb and should be followed by a comma.
- 2. Improve source phrase Original: One great way is from Suggested revision: One valuable source is Why it matters: A source is a natural way to refer to newspapers and video websites.
- 3. Correct brand spelling Original: Youtube Suggested revision: YouTube Why it matters: The platform name uses a capital T in its standard spelling.
- 4. Fix subject agreement Original: offers Suggested revision: offer Why it matters: The relative clause refers to the plural nouns “newspapers and video websites.”
- 5. Fix knowledge collocation Original: learn Suggested revision: gain Why it matters: English uses “gain knowledge” rather than “learn knowledge.”
- 6. Use idiomatic singular Original: schools Suggested revision: school Why it matters: The fixed expression for attending formal education is “at school.”
- 7. Use natural phrasing Original: favored by a growing number of youths nowadays Suggested revision: increasingly popular with young people Why it matters: This version is more concise and uses a natural collocation for popularity.
- 8. Add missing preposition Original: This type learning Suggested revision: This type of learning Why it matters: The noun pattern requires “of” between “type” and “learning.”
- 9. Add definite article Original: lack of teachers’ guidance Suggested revision: the lack of teachers’ guidance Why it matters: The specific absence being discussed requires the definite article.
- 10. Repair contrast structure Original: not the only things to expect from formal education but Suggested revision: not the only benefits of formal education; it also develops Why it matters: The revision completes the contrast and gives the second element a grammatical verb.
- 11. Moderate academic tone Original: merely absurd Suggested revision: unconvincing Why it matters: “Unconvincing” expresses the same judgement in a more measured academic register.
- 12. Sentence rewrite Original: These factors are extremely important to a child’s intellectual development, which emphasizes the necessity of school environments. Suggested revision: The importance of these factors to a child’s intellectual development emphasizes the necessity of a school environment. Why it matters: The rewrite gives “emphasizes” a clear singular subject and removes the ambiguous relative clause.
Suggested Rewrites
- ; and therefore ; therefore,
- One great way is from One valuable source is
- Youtube YouTube
- offers offer
- learn gain
- schools school
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response offers a clear, nuanced position and develops both the value of online learning and the irreplaceable social and instructional functions of schools with strong logical control. Its main limitation is a small number of awkward or inaccurate phrases and grammatical slips. The highest-priority improvement is to refine collocations and proofread complex constructions so that the otherwise sophisticated argument is expressed with consistently precise, natural language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response fully addresses the extent question, sustains a clear position, and develops relevant reasons on both sides of its qualification.
Strengthen the already effective argument by making the link between school-based social development and modern-life preparation even more explicit.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through well-focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices guide the reader smoothly without dominating the argument.
Refine a few long sentence transitions so that every contrast and addition is expressed as economically as possible.
Lexical Resource
A wide and flexible vocabulary conveys precise ideas, although a few combinations such as learning knowledge and this type learning are unnatural.
Proofread for idiomatic collocation and missing function words while retaining the response's effective topic-specific range.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures with strong control, but a few agreement, article, and construction errors remain.
Check the internal grammar of longer sentences, especially relative-clause agreement and paired structures such as not only...but also.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Schools are no longer necessary because children can get so much information available through the Internet, and they can study just as well at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.