In some parts of the world it is increasingly popular to research the history of one’s own family. Why do people want to do this? Is it a positive or negative development?
Sample Response
People nowadays are becoming increasingly keen to learn about their family history. There are some compelling reasons for this; and I strongly feel that this is a positive development.
Most people do research on their family history to find out whether their ancestors had similar personality traits and to have deeper understanding about their family roots and heritage. Others study their family history background for less significant reasons, one of which is curiosity. For example, my uncle used to spend a great deal of time and effort tracing my family tree back to the 18th century just out of curiosity. Also, I think that news media have a major part to play in this trend. There are a lot of news articles and advertisements these days that encourage genealogy and convince people that it is necessary to know about their ancestry.
In my view, this is a good way to teach children about history and how their ancestors lived, which is linked in part to family traditions. And it is even more important for children to carry on such valuable and unique traditions, given that this fast changing world is somehow making young generations ignore the spiritual legacy that their ancestors left. On top of that, family history can be a fascinating topic of discussion whenever there is a family meeting. How my grandparents struggled to raise their offspring during the Vietnam War, for example, has become my father’s favorite subject when all my relatives gather for a traditional holiday feast.
In conclusion, people like to study their family history for a variety of reasons as I have discussed, and personally, I consider this a positive modern trend.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Join clauses correctly Original: There are some compelling reasons for this; and Suggested revision: There are some compelling reasons for this, and Why it matters: A comma, rather than a semicolon, should precede the coordinating conjunction here.
- 2. Use concise wording Original: do research on their family history Suggested revision: research their family history Why it matters: The direct verb form is more concise and natural.
- 3. Add article and collocation Original: to have deeper understanding about Suggested revision: to gain a deeper understanding of Why it matters: The countable noun needs an article, and this phrasing uses the natural collocation.
- 4. Remove redundant wording Original: family history background Suggested revision: family background Why it matters: The words “history” and “background” overlap in meaning here.
- 5. Use natural collocation Original: news media have a major part to play Suggested revision: the news media play a major role Why it matters: This is a more natural and concise academic collocation.
- 6. Use concise quantifier Original: There are a lot of news articles Suggested revision: Many news articles Why it matters: The revision expresses the same quantity more concisely.
- 7. Choose natural phrase Original: young Suggested revision: younger Why it matters: “Younger generations” is the conventional phrase for later age cohorts.
- 8. Use precise expression Original: whenever there is a family meeting Suggested revision: at family gatherings Why it matters: The revision is more concise and idiomatic for recurring family occasions.
- 9. Sentence rewrite Original: In my view, this is a good way to teach children about history and how their ancestors lived, which is linked in part to family traditions. Suggested revision: In my view, researching family history is a good way to teach children about the past, their ancestors’ lives, and the family traditions connected with them. Why it matters: The rewrite replaces the vague pronoun and clarifies what is linked to family traditions.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: For example, my uncle used to spend a great deal of time and effort tracing my family tree back to the 18th century just out of curiosity. Suggested revision: For example, my uncle spent considerable time and effort tracing my family tree back to the 18th century purely out of curiosity. Why it matters: The rewrite removes unnecessary wording while preserving the example.
- 11. Clarify cause progression Suggested revision: Group the personal motivations first, then introduce media influence with a clear transition that marks it as a separate cause. Why it matters: The paragraph shifts from individual motives to media influence abruptly.
Suggested Rewrites
- There are some compelling reasons for this; and There are some compelling reasons for this, and
- do research on their family history research their family history
- to have deeper understanding about to gain a deeper understanding of
- family history background family background
- news media have a major part to play the news media play a major role
- There are a lot of news articles Many news articles
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response addresses both questions directly, maintains a clear positive position, and supports its reasons and evaluation with relevant personal examples and consistently controlled language. Its main limitation is that a few claims, particularly the media influence and the value of preserving traditions, are asserted more briefly than the strongest examples. The highest-priority improvement is to develop those causal links more explicitly and evenly.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both parts of the task are fully addressed through a clear position, relevant reasons, and well-supported benefits.
Develop the media-influence and tradition-preservation claims with the same depth as the personal examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through focused paragraphs, with cohesive devices and referencing used effectively throughout.
Use slightly subtler transitions between supporting points to make the progression even more seamless.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary is used flexibly, including effective topic-specific language about ancestry, heritage, and legacy.
Polish occasional collocations such as deeper understanding about and family history background for greater naturalness.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is handled accurately, and the few minor lapses do not impede communication.
Refine small article, preposition, and hyphenation choices while preserving the existing structural variety.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some parts of the world it is increasingly popular to research the history of one’s own family. Why do people want to do this? Is it a positive or negative development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.