Environmental protection should be the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Many people believe the responsibility for protecting the environment should belong to politicians rather than individuals who are hardly capable of doing anything. In my opinion, individuals can actually do a lot so they should share such responsibility with politicians.
To begin with, individuals can contribute greatly to environmental protection by doing it together. For instance, they can protect wildlife by encouraging each other to boycott companies that make money at the expense of animals. The effect of such an action could be little if performed by a few citizens but once everyone joins hands, their impacts on the environment would suffice to make changes. One single post on Facebook reporting Vaseline’s use of rabbits and monkeys for testing purposes may not matter, but with thousands of shares, internet users across the globe have successfully forced this company to abandon animal testing and release those animals to the wild.
Therefore, not only politicians but also individuals should assume this responsibility. Because both of them are living on the same planet, any problem resulting from environmental degradation would negatively affect everybody no matter who they are. For example, in case of air pollution, people are all at higher risk of respiratory diseases regardless of their occupations. Even their children’s well-being is also threatened if they are born and raised in such a polluted atmosphere. Therefore, preserving their habitats is synonymous with protecting their future generation.
In conclusion, the responsibility of safeguarding the environment should fall on all people in society whether they are politicians or not, as every individual is able to do this.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural collocation Original: responsibility for protecting the environment should belong to politicians Suggested revision: responsibility for protecting the environment should lie with politicians Why it matters: Responsibility normally ‘lies with’ a person or group rather than ‘belongs to’ them.
- 2. Separate coordinated clauses Original: a lot so they should Suggested revision: a lot, so they should Why it matters: A comma is needed before ‘so’ when it joins two independent clauses.
- 3. Use precise wording Original: doing it together Suggested revision: acting collectively Why it matters: The revision states the means of joint action more precisely.
- 4. Correct adjective choice Original: little Suggested revision: limited Why it matters: ‘Limited’ naturally describes the small effect of an action.
- 5. Match the singular referent Original: their impacts on the environment Suggested revision: its impact on the environment Why it matters: The phrase refers back to singular ‘such an action’, so both the pronoun and noun should be singular.
- 6. Use clearer collocation Original: would suffice to make changes Suggested revision: could bring about meaningful change Why it matters: The proposed phrase expresses the collective result more naturally.
- 7. Remove redundancy Original: One Suggested revision: A Why it matters: ‘One’ and ‘single’ duplicate the same meaning here.
- 8. Correct the preposition Original: to Suggested revision: into Why it matters: Animals are conventionally released ‘into the wild’.
- 9. Use clear group reference Original: both of them are living Suggested revision: both groups live Why it matters: The simple present and explicit group noun suit this general statement better.
- 10. Specify the example Original: in case of air pollution Suggested revision: in the case of air pollution Why it matters: ‘In the case of’ introduces a particular example, whereas ‘in case of’ usually expresses preparation for an event.
- 11. Remove double emphasis Original: Even their children’s well-being is also threatened Suggested revision: Their children’s well-being is also threatened Why it matters: Using both ‘even’ and ‘also’ creates redundant additive emphasis.
- 12. Use plural generations Original: their future generation Suggested revision: future generations Why it matters: The general reference requires the conventional plural noun without the possessive determiner.
Suggested Rewrites
- responsibility for protecting the environment should belong to politicians responsibility for protecting the environment should lie with politicians
- a lot so they should a lot, so they should
- doing it together acting collectively
- little limited
- their impacts on the environment its impact on the environment
- would suffice to make changes could bring about meaningful change
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response presents a clear, consistent position and develops the potential collective impact of individual action through specific examples. The main limitation is that the case for politicians sharing responsibility is asserted more than explained, so part of the position lacks direct support. The highest-priority improvement is to add a developed argument showing what governments can uniquely do and why individual action alone is insufficient.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The question is addressed with a clear position and relevant development, though the politicians' role receives limited direct justification.
Add a specific explanation of governmental powers, such as regulation or infrastructure, to support the shared-responsibility position fully.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through well-focused paragraphs, with generally effective cohesion despite a few repetitive transitions and an isolated fragment.
Integrate supporting clauses into complete sentences and vary transitions so relationships are conveyed less mechanically.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally precise, although several collocations and pronoun choices are awkward or inaccurate.
Refine phrases such as collective impact and future generations, and check pronoun agreement for greater naturalness.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of complex structures is used with generally strong control, while a few fragments and agreement errors remain noticeable.
Eliminate sentence fragments beginning with subordinators and proofread subject-pronoun agreement in complex sentences.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Environmental protection should be the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.