Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
While some people think that it is the responsibility of producers and suppliers to reduce product packaging, others feel that the responsibility lies with consumers. This essay will analyse both sides of the argument.
On one hand, I believe that companies do have a significant responsibility to limit the amount of packaging that they package their products in. One reason for this is that many consumers have very little awareness about the negative impacts that the excessive amounts of product packaging are having on the environment; therefore, manufacturers and supermarkets need to minimise the amount of plastic packaging that is used to store and sell their products, or preferably use only biodegradable, recyclable, or environmentally friendly materials. In addition, many people cannot afford to be selective about which products they buy, which is a further reason why all companies need to be more responsible.
On the other hand, individuals also have a responsibility to protect the environment from further destruction and pollution by limiting their consumption of products that are packaged in non-biodegradable materials. By boycotting certain products from companies who are not being environmentally responsible, consumers can put pressure on these companies to change their attitude towards the materials that they use to package their products. As a result, companies will be forced to act more environmentally responsible by changing and reducing product packaging. Consumers have the power to bring about change, but must act together in order for it to happen.
In conclusion, companies and individuals both need to take responsibility for the amount of packaging that is used to package goods.The government also needs to play a significant role in this issue by creating and enforcing laws that companies must adhere to with regards to plastic packaging, and by educating individuals about the environmental destruction and pollution caused by packaging waste.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Complete paired linker Original: On one hand Suggested revision: On the one hand Why it matters: The standard paired construction is “on the one hand … on the other hand.”
- 2. Avoid word repetition Original: packaging that they package their products in Suggested revision: packaging used for their products Why it matters: The revision removes the distracting repetition of “packaging” and “package.”
- 3. Use standard collocation Original: about Suggested revision: of Why it matters: “Awareness of” is the standard collocation in this context.
- 4. Remove wordiness Original: the excessive amounts of product packaging Suggested revision: excessive product packaging Why it matters: The shorter noun phrase expresses the same general quantity clearly.
- 5. Use appropriate relative pronoun Original: companies who are not being environmentally responsible Suggested revision: companies that are not acting responsibly toward the environment Why it matters: “That” refers to organizations, and the adverb “responsibly” modifies “acting.”
- 6. Use precise business wording Original: change their attitude towards the materials Suggested revision: change their approach to the materials Why it matters: “Approach to” more precisely describes a company’s choices about packaging materials.
- 7. Use adverb after act Original: act more environmentally responsible Suggested revision: act more responsibly toward the environment Why it matters: The verb “act” requires the adverb “responsibly,” not the adjective “responsible.”
- 8. Clarify coordinated actions Original: changing and reducing product packaging Suggested revision: changing packaging materials and reducing product packaging Why it matters: The revision makes clear what companies would change and what they would reduce.
- 9. Restore explicit subject Original: Consumers have the power to bring about change, but must act together Suggested revision: Consumers have the power to bring about change, but they must act together Why it matters: Repeating the subject makes the coordinated clause easier to process.
- 10. Avoid repeated word family Original: packaging that is used to package goods Suggested revision: packaging used for goods Why it matters: The revision removes unnecessary repetition while preserving the meaning.
- 11. Correct fixed phrase Original: regards Suggested revision: regard Why it matters: The standard formal expression is the singular phrase “with regard to.”
Suggested Rewrites
- On one hand On the one hand
- packaging that they package their products in packaging used for their products
- about of
- the excessive amounts of product packaging excessive product packaging
- companies who are not being environmentally responsible companies that are not acting responsibly toward the environment
- change their attitude towards the materials change their approach to the materials
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response’s strongest feature is its balanced, logically developed account of how both businesses and consumers can reduce excessive packaging. Its main limitation is that the writer’s combined opinion becomes fully explicit only in the conclusion, while some wording is repetitive and a few minor accuracy lapses remain. The highest-priority improvement is to state the shared-responsibility position in the introduction and sharpen the comparison between the two sides.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are explored in depth, and the conclusion gives a clear, relevant opinion that responsibility should be shared.
State the shared-responsibility position explicitly in the introduction and use the conclusion to synthesise rather than extend the argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is clearly organised, and ideas progress smoothly within and between the contrasting body paragraphs.
Strengthen the comparison by linking the limits of consumer choice more directly to the need for producer action.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied, precise, and well suited to the topic, despite some repetition and one or two inaccurate word-form choices.
Vary repeated packaging-related phrases and use adverb forms accurately in expressions describing how companies should act.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a wide range of complex sentences with strong control, and only minor punctuation or phrasing errors occur.
Proofread spacing and punctuation at sentence boundaries and streamline the occasional cumbersome relative clause.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.