In the recent years, there has been an increase in the number of people killed on the road. Traffic designers blame drivers for driving too fast and drivers say the roads are bad. Who is to be blamed for the accidents deaths caused on roads?
Sample Response
Is it a fact that the death rate due to traffic accidents has increased significantly in the past recent years. Authorities believe that it was due to the bad driving of the drivers, while vehicle drivers think that it was because of the poor condition of the road. I personally believe that we should not blame each other for the inconvenient condition, as each party should evaluate and try to improve themselves. On the one hand, street designers and government authorities believe that the incremental rate of traffic accidents that caused death is because of the driver’s negative behaviours. Many drivers are doing some in-disciplined act before or when they drive. For example, many drivers are drinking alcohol at an unacceptable volume before they drive, or some people are speeding their car over the standard limit. As a result, serious traffic accidents have risen drastically in the past recent years. On the other hand, car drivers believe that the high number of fatal traffic accidents was due to the terrible conditions of the road. They believe that many roads and streets are not well maintained, as there are holes on the street and many of the roads are bumpy and slippery. As a consequence, many motor vehicles drivers face serious accidents due to the condition. In my opinion, instead of blaming someone or something, each party should evaluate themselves and try to resolve the issue. Traffic designers and the government could try to reduce traffic accidents by giving a more intense campaign about safety driving to the public, and set a stricter regulation about driving a car. Authorities should also try to improve their performance on road maintenance as well. As for drivers, they should try to follow all the set regulations about safety driving as these policies are made with extra cautious and precise measurement.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use statement structure Original: Is it a fact that Suggested revision: It is a fact that Why it matters: The sentence ends as a statement, so it should not begin with inverted question structure.
- 2. Remove redundant time phrase Original: significantly in the past recent years Suggested revision: significantly in recent years Why it matters: Past is redundant because recent years already identifies the time period.
- 3. Clarify pronoun reference Original: it was due to the bad driving Suggested revision: this increase was due to poor driving Why it matters: Naming the increase removes the vague pronoun reference.
- 4. Use agent preposition Original: of the drivers Suggested revision: by drivers Why it matters: Poor driving by drivers is the natural agent construction.
- 5. Use concise driver noun Original: vehicle drivers Suggested revision: motorists Why it matters: Motorists expresses vehicle drivers concisely and naturally.
- 6. Use plural roads Original: road Suggested revision: roads Why it matters: The general claim concerns multiple roads and requires the plural noun.
- 7. Use accurate safety phrase Original: the inconvenient condition Suggested revision: these unsafe conditions Why it matters: Inconvenient understates road dangers, while unsafe conditions conveys the intended problem.
- 8. Fix reflexive reference Original: each party should evaluate and try to improve themselves Suggested revision: each party should evaluate its actions and try to improve Why it matters: The singular subject each party requires its, and evaluate needs a clear object.
- 9. Use natural increase phrase Original: the incremental rate Suggested revision: the rising number Why it matters: Rising number is the natural phrase for an increasing count of accidents.
- 10. Use concise fatal adjective Original: accidents that caused death Suggested revision: fatal accidents Why it matters: Fatal accidents conveys accidents causing death more concisely.
- 11. Fix number and wording Original: the driver’s negative behaviours Suggested revision: drivers' unsafe behaviour Why it matters: The general plural possessive drivers' and uncountable behaviour fit the claim.
- 12. Use plural adjective phrase Original: some in-disciplined act Suggested revision: undisciplined acts Why it matters: The adjective is undisciplined, and some requires the plural count noun acts.
Suggested Rewrites
- Is it a fact that It is a fact that
- significantly in the past recent years significantly in recent years
- it was due to the bad driving this increase was due to poor driving
- of the drivers by drivers
- vehicle drivers motorists
- road roads
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay considers both driver behaviour and road conditions, supports each cause with relevant examples, and reaches a reasonable position that responsibility and corrective action should be shared. Its strongest feature is the balanced causal response. The main weakness is language control and presentation: one-block organisation and frequent unnatural expressions and grammatical errors reduce authority; create focused paragraphs and revise transport collocations, agreement, tense, and parallel structures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The response directly evaluates both sources of blame, provides relevant examples, and clearly argues for shared responsibility supported by practical actions.
State the shared-responsibility judgment more precisely and explain how enforcement and road maintenance would each reduce fatalities.
Coherence and Cohesion
The two causes and proposed solutions follow a clear logical sequence, but the single-paragraph presentation and repeated position statement limit organisation.
Use separate introduction, driver-cause, road-cause, and shared-solution paragraphs, ending with a brief conclusion rather than repeating the thesis mid-essay.
Lexical Resource
The response has sufficient road-safety vocabulary, but many inaccurate collocations and word forms make the argument sound unnatural.
Use standard phrases such as reckless behaviour, drink-driving, exceed the speed limit, road users, road-safety campaign, and enforce stricter regulations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning remains clear overall, but frequent errors in sentence form, tense, agreement, articles, plurals, and parallel construction limit accuracy.
Rewrite the opening as a complete statement, keep past and present claims consistent, and match coordinated verbs after modal structures.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In the recent years, there has been an increase in the number of people killed on the road. Traffic designers blame drivers for driving too fast and drivers say the roads are bad. Who is to be blamed for the accidents deaths caused on roads?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.