Discipline is an ever-increasing problem in modern schools. Some people think that discipline should be the responsibility of teachers, while others think that this is the role of parents. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.
This response is estimated at Band 7.5. Can you write a better one?
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Sample Response
Discipline in modern schools has become a pressing concern, and opinions differ over whether primary responsibility lies with teachers or parentsopinions differ on whether teachers or parents should be primarily responsible. While teachers manage behavior during school hours, I believe that parents exert the greatest influence on a child’s long-term conductparents have the greatest influence in shaping a child’s long-term conduct.
Advocates for teacher-enforcedled discipline point out that teachers interact with students daily and are well placed to enforceare in a strong position to enforce school rules. They can monitor behavior, intervene in conflicts, and imposeapply consequences such as detention or additional assignments. In schools with strict disciplinarybehavioral policies, these measures often reduce disruptive incidents, demonstrating the importance of teacher involvement.
However, parents layprovide the foundation for a child’s sense of responsibility and respect. Values instilled at home remain influential throughout lifeare reinforced throughout life, and children whose parents actively guide their behavior are more likely to follow rules at school. Without parental involvement, classroom disciplinary measures may address onlyclassroom discipline may only address surface-level behavior rather than underlying attitudes.
In conclusion, both teachers and parents are essential toin maintaining discipline, but I believe that parents should take the lead in shaping a child’s character. Teachers, meanwhile, enforce rules and serve as role modelsact as enforcers and role models, ensuring that rules are followed during school hours. A collaborative effort is therefore vital to tackle the growing problem of poor disciplineproblem of indiscipline effectively.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response is exceptionally clear, well organised, and linguistically controlled, with a consistent position and balanced coverage of teachers' and parents' roles. Its principal limitation is that, at 204 words, the argument is shorter than required and therefore develops each side only briefly; the most important improvement is to add a further specific explanation or example for each viewpoint while preserving the current precision and focus.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views and a clear opinion are addressed directly, but the under-length response limits the depth and support of the discussion.
Reach the required length by adding a distinct, well-explained consequence or example for each side of the debate.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses smoothly through a focused introduction, two logically sequenced body paragraphs, and a consistent conclusion.
Make the final collaborative recommendation even more clearly traceable to the preceding comparison of responsibilities.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied, precise, and naturally controlled throughout, including effective language for responsibility, behaviour, and influence.
Refine the argument further with vocabulary that distinguishes immediate rule enforcement from long-term character formation.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of sentence forms is used accurately and flexibly, with consistently clear control of punctuation and agreement.
Add occasional concessive or conditional structures to express the relationship between parental and teacher responsibility more subtly.