Students are becoming more and more reliant on the Internet. While the Internet is helpful for students, it has many negative effects, and its use for educational purposes should be restricted. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
In the contemporary educational landscape, students' increasing dependence on the Internet is undeniable. Even though the Internet offers valuable support to students, some suggest its restricted use citing its negative effects. Personally, I disagree with the notion that its use for educational purposes should be systematically restricted.
One primary reason for my disagreement is the unparalleled access to information and learning resources that the Internet provides. Restricting its educational use might hinder students' ability to explore diverse perspectives, cutting them off from a wealth of knowledge available online. For instance, platforms like online libraries, educational websites, and interactive learning tools contribute significantly to a comprehensive and dynamic educational experience. In this digital era, learning from only textbooks is less effective when a plethora of online resources including interactive resources help students of all levels learn faster and more effectively.
Furthermore, the Internet fosters the development of essential digital skills that are crucial in today's interconnected world. Restricting its educational use may hinder students from acquiring proficiency in online research, digital collaboration, and information literacy – skills that are increasingly vital for success in academic and professional spheres. To cite an example, while applying for a job, computer literacy and skills are vital in this modern career landscape.
In conclusion, students should not be restricted from harnessing the Internet's educational potential. The key lies in fostering a conscious and informed approach to Internet use rather than imposing blanket restrictions, ensuring that students can leverage the benefits of the digital age and learn faster and more effectively.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use more direct wording Original: In the contemporary educational landscape Suggested revision: In contemporary education Why it matters: The shorter phrase conveys the same context more directly.
- 2. Avoid overstatement Original: unparalleled Suggested revision: extensive Why it matters: “Extensive” supports the intended positive claim without making an absolute comparison.
- 3. Name the category accurately Original: platforms like Suggested revision: resources such as Why it matters: Libraries, websites, and learning tools are more accurately grouped as resources.
- 4. Make wording more concrete Original: comprehensive and dynamic educational experience Suggested revision: broad and engaging learning experience Why it matters: The revision communicates the type of educational benefit more plainly.
- 5. Improve adverb placement Original: learning from only textbooks Suggested revision: learning solely from textbooks Why it matters: Placing the limiting adverb before the prepositional phrase makes its scope clear.
- 6. Remove repeated wording Original: a plethora of online resources including interactive resources Suggested revision: a wide range of online resources, including interactive tools Why it matters: The revision avoids repeating “resources” and uses a more precise final noun.
- 7. Remove redundant emphasis Original: essential digital skills that are crucial Suggested revision: digital skills that are crucial Why it matters: “Essential” and “crucial” express the same idea, so one is sufficient.
- 8. Use plainer collocation Original: spheres Suggested revision: settings Why it matters: “Settings” is a more direct and natural term for these contexts.
- 9. Sentence rewrite Original: Even though the Internet offers valuable support to students, some suggest its restricted use citing its negative effects. Suggested revision: Even though the Internet offers valuable support to students, some advocate restricting its use because of its negative effects. Why it matters: The rewrite replaces the awkward noun phrase and makes the causal relationship explicit.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: To cite an example, while applying for a job, computer literacy and skills are vital in this modern career landscape. Suggested revision: For example, computer literacy and related digital skills are vital when applying for jobs in today's labour market. Why it matters: The original opening creates a dangling modifier because “computer literacy and skills” cannot apply for a job.
Suggested Rewrites
- In the contemporary educational landscape In contemporary education
- unparalleled extensive
- platforms like resources such as
- comprehensive and dynamic educational experience broad and engaging learning experience
- learning from only textbooks learning solely from textbooks
- a plethora of online resources including interactive resources a wide range of online resources, including interactive tools
Why this response received Band 7.5
The essay presents a clear, consistent position and develops two relevant benefits of unrestricted educational Internet use through focused, logically ordered paragraphs. The main limitation is that some support becomes repetitive or only loosely connected to students, especially the employment example. Prioritize making each example directly demonstrate the educational value claimed and briefly addressing how responsible use can mitigate the stated negative effects.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear disagreement is maintained and supported with well-developed arguments, although one example is only indirectly relevant and the opposing concern receives limited attention.
Use a more directly educational example for digital skills and explain briefly why guidance addresses drawbacks better than restriction.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through well-focused paragraphs, with cohesive devices used effectively despite minor repetition of wording and structures.
Vary transitions and remove repeated formulations so the progression feels more economical and natural.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied, precise, and appropriately academic overall, with only occasional repetition and slightly awkward collocation.
Refine phrases such as suggest its restricted use and avoid repeating interactive resources and learn faster and more effectively.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex sentences is handled accurately, and errors are rare and do not impede communication.
Polish the occasional awkward modifier or compressed construction while preserving the strong variety and control of sentence forms.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Students are becoming more and more reliant on the Internet. While the Internet is helpful for students, it has many negative effects, and its use for educational purposes should be restricted. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.