Some people are of the opinion that children should be rewarded for good behaviour. Others think they should be punished for bad behaviour. Discuss both views and give your personal opinion and reasons.
Sample Response
The debate over a child’s moral education is difficult due to the various view points each party holds. The question of discipline is exceptionally important, moreover whether to treat good behaviour with a neutral attitude or to just focus on correcting incorrect actions.
My personal opinion is that any positive actions ought to be immediately recognised by the parent and vice versa for negative conduct. This balanced approach makes for a more positive outcome for both the child and family.
Firstly rewarding a good act immediately signals a positive reaction in the child’s brain which should encourage the child to want to behave similar in the future. Failure to recognise such behaviour leaves the child with the same emotional feeling as if they had done nothing. Therefore rewarding the child regularly for good behaviour enforces the action making it more likely to repeat itself in the future.
Secondly punishing the son or daughter is also necessary, failure to discipline could have serious consequences in the future. For example if a child has no clear concept of respect for elders or authority it is quite possible to encounter more serious problems later in life.
This pattern is prevalent in marginal neighbourhoods throughout the world. Therefore it is essential to immediately discipline the child whenever witnessing an unruly act so as to enforce the correct behaviour from an early age.
To conclude both bad and good actions need to be recognised and dealt with immediately to correct or encourage the future actions. Failure to do either of these could result in a less fortunate life or a youth who rarely performs any good acts for anyone. Therefore it is critical that both types of behaviour are recognised dealt with accordingly for the benefit of the child in the future.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Improve noun phrase Original: various view points Suggested revision: different viewpoints Why it matters: Different viewpoints is the natural expression for contrasting opinions.
- 2. Fix number agreement Original: actions Suggested revision: action Why it matters: Use a singular count noun after any in this construction.
- 3. Complete paired articles Original: both the child and family Suggested revision: both the child and the family Why it matters: The coordinated singular nouns each need an article here.
- 4. Punctuate transition Original: Firstly rewarding Suggested revision: Firstly, rewarding Why it matters: A comma should follow the introductory linking word.
- 5. Use adverb form Original: similar Suggested revision: similarly Why it matters: The verb behave requires the adverb similarly.
- 6. Remove redundancy Original: same emotional feeling Suggested revision: same feeling Why it matters: Feeling already conveys an emotional state.
- 7. Choose correct verb Original: enforces Suggested revision: reinforces Why it matters: Reinforce means to strengthen behaviour, while enforce means to compel compliance.
- 8. Clarify sentence subject Original: it more likely to repeat itself Suggested revision: the child more likely to repeat it Why it matters: The revision makes the child the agent who repeats the behaviour.
- 9. Fix comma splice Original: is also necessary, failure Suggested revision: is also necessary; failure Why it matters: A semicolon correctly separates the two independent clauses.
- 10. Add clear subject Original: whenever witnessing Suggested revision: whenever they witness Why it matters: The original participial phrase has no stated subject.
- 11. Add conjunction Original: are recognised dealt with Suggested revision: are recognised and dealt with Why it matters: And is needed to coordinate the two passive verb phrases.
- 12. Punctuate transition Original: Therefore rewarding Suggested revision: Therefore, rewarding Why it matters: A comma should follow the introductory linking word.
Suggested Rewrites
- various view points different viewpoints
- actions action
- both the child and family both the child and the family
- Firstly rewarding Firstly, rewarding
- similar similarly
- same emotional feeling same feeling
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response takes a clear, balanced position and supports both rewarding good behaviour and disciplining misconduct with relevant explanations. Its main limitation is that several points remain general or asserted rather than fully demonstrated, while awkward collocations and recurring punctuation errors reduce precision. Develop each side with a more specific consequence or example, and revise sentence boundaries and word combinations to make the argument more polished and convincing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both views, states a clear balanced opinion, and develops relevant reasons for rewarding and punishing behaviour.
Strengthen each side with a specific, credible example and explain more precisely why the proposed response changes a child's conduct.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses logically through a clear position, two main points, and a consistent conclusion, although linking is sometimes mechanical.
Combine closely related paragraphs and vary transitions so that ideas flow through meaning rather than repeated sequencing words.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied for the topic, but several awkward collocations and imprecise choices reduce naturalness.
Replace combinations such as 'behave similar' and 'enforces the action' with precise, idiomatic expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex structures communicates meaning clearly, despite recurring punctuation, article, and clause-boundary errors.
Proofread for comma splices, missing commas after introductory phrases, and complete coordination between clauses.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people are of the opinion that children should be rewarded for good behaviour. Others think they should be punished for bad behaviour. Discuss both views and give your personal opinion and reasons.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.