Some people say that rich nations should help poor countries with their basic needs like food and education while others oppose the idea and argue that the poor nation themselves should try to improve their condition. Do you agree with the idea that rich and developed nations should help the poor nations?
Sample Response
Recent decades have witnessed tremendous economic development; however, the gap between the richest and poorest nations remains considerable. Some people argue that developed nations should assist underdeveloped ones with food and education. Alternatively, others believe it is best for the leaders of the poorer countries to solve their problems on their own.
We cannot deny that assistance to a poor country from a wealthy one could benefit both countries. For instance, providing aid might lead to better trade and diplomatic relationships. Wealthy nations may also benefit from access to natural resources, attractive investment opportunities, or even allies in security issues. Apart from being favourable, wealthy nations should help because many owe their prosperity to poorer nations from past exploitation, slavery, and colonialism. Needless to say, returning some wealth to the countries it was ‘stolen’ from would be beneficial and the right thing to do.
In contrast, some people believe that poorer nations should solve their own problems. They point out that such countries should avoid interference from wealthy countries because they must maintain independence. For example, a poor nation may lose the freedom to make some decisions and grow to depend on the aid they receive. Some argue that aid can lead to exploitation, and wealthy nations may take advantage of access to resources or use the threat of stopping aid as a way to gain power.
In conclusion, arguments can be made that assistance from a wealthy nation could be mutually beneficial as well as appropriate justice for past acts. However, it may also be said that poorer nations would benefit most from acting independently and not being in debt to wealthier ones. In my view, poorer nations should seek out aid because it may be the best chance for them to develop and catch up with those that are more advanced.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Sharpen the contrast Original: Alternatively, others believe Suggested revision: Others, however, believe Why it matters: However signals the contrast between the two positions more directly than alternatively.
- 2. Improve word order Original: assistance to a poor country from a wealthy one Suggested revision: assistance from a wealthy country to a poorer one Why it matters: The revised order makes the source and recipient of the assistance immediately clear.
- 3. Use precise collocations Original: trade and diplomatic relationships Suggested revision: trade relations and diplomatic ties Why it matters: Trade relations and diplomatic ties are the conventional collocations for these connections.
- 4. Use a natural phrase Original: allies in security issues Suggested revision: security allies Why it matters: Security allies expresses this relationship more concisely and idiomatically.
- 5. Clarify possession Original: maintain independence Suggested revision: maintain their independence Why it matters: The possessive determiner makes clear that the independence belongs to the poorer countries.
- 6. Improve the collocation Original: grow to depend on Suggested revision: become dependent on Why it matters: Become dependent on is the more natural collocation for developing reliance.
- 7. Refine the wording Original: appropriate justice for past acts Suggested revision: a just response to past actions Why it matters: The replacement expresses the idea of redress in a more natural academic phrase.
- 8. Name the contrasting view Original: it may also be said that Suggested revision: others argue that Why it matters: The active attribution makes the shift to the opposing argument clearer and less wordy.
- 9. Sentence rewrite Original: Apart from being favourable, wealthy nations should help because many owe their prosperity to poorer nations from past exploitation, slavery, and colonialism. Suggested revision: Beyond these mutual benefits, many wealthy nations should help because their prosperity is linked to past exploitation, slavery, and colonialism in poorer nations. Why it matters: The revision clarifies the vague opening and removes the awkward relationship expressed by owe and from.
- 10. Clarify internal progression Suggested revision: Use a clear internal transition when moving from mutual benefit to historical obligation so the two rationales form a deliberate progression. Why it matters: The paragraph shifts between two distinct justifications without clearly marking that development.
Suggested Rewrites
- Alternatively, others believe Others, however, believe
- assistance to a poor country from a wealthy one assistance from a wealthy country to a poorer one
- trade and diplomatic relationships trade relations and diplomatic ties
- allies in security issues security allies
- maintain independence maintain their independence
- grow to depend on become dependent on
Why this response received Band 8.0
This is a well-developed, persuasive response that considers both the benefits and risks of aid before stating a clear final position. The argument is consistently relevant and supported, although a few claims about historical justice and mutual benefit could be qualified more precisely. The highest-priority improvement is to establish the writer’s position earlier and sustain it explicitly while evaluating the counterargument.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response fully addresses the question through well-developed arguments on aid, reciprocity, dependence, and national autonomy.
State the final position in the introduction and explicitly weigh why the benefits ultimately outweigh the risks discussed.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument is sequenced clearly, paragraphs have distinct purposes, and cohesive links support smooth progression throughout.
Strengthen the transition into the conclusion by making the weighing of the two sides more explicit.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary supports nuanced discussion of economic, diplomatic, historical, and political considerations.
Refine occasional less natural combinations such as appropriate justice so that the phrasing is consistently idiomatic.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide variety of complex sentence forms is handled accurately, with only rare minor lapses that do not impede communication.
Maintain the same control while tightening occasional heavily coordinated sentences for greater stylistic economy.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say that rich nations should help poor countries with their basic needs like food and education while others oppose the idea and argue that the poor nation themselves should try to improve their condition. Do you agree with the idea that rich and developed nations should help the poor nations?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.