Money is important in most people's lives. Although some people think it is more important than others. What do you feel are the right uses of money? What other factors are important for a good life?
Sample Response
Money plays an imperative role in one’s life. However, some peoplesome among the mass believe that it is more significant thanthe most significant than other important factors and aspects of life. A moot question pertaining to the use of money would be the meticulous ways to spend it and other factors attributing to one's quality of life? Let us discourse on this topic below.
As far as the right use of money is concerned, the golden rule would be to spend it wisely, focusingwisely focusing on righteousness and virtues. Firstly, money should be spent on one's necessities rather than luxuriesnecessities compared to luxuries. It is ubiquitous nowadays for a mediocre family to own cars. This exemplifies the innate quest within the public to be extravagant. Secondly, money being spent on charity would be a proper use of itwould classify the right use of it. From time immemorial, man has perceived himself as a social being; hence,social being, hence money spentspend on helping others would serve its ideal purpose. Thirdly, the monitoring efforts have been made to combat the threats to human existence on earth like terrorism, global warming etc. would be the next in line. Worldwide fundraisers to counter these menaces exemplifythese menace exemplifies the right use of money.
Apart from money, there are many factorsfactors are many that contribute to one's quality of life. A good life would mean social, emotional and physical well-being of an individual. An individual devoid of mental peace would be at a disadvantage in achievinga backlog contender towards achieving the quality of life. Maintaining one's social and familial relationships in an enchanting manner would be ideal for a good quality of lifefor quality life. Another indispensable factor in this context would be the success in life that one earned, both success and good life being directly proportional to each other. Last but not leastLast but not to the least, one's innate qualities like kindheartedness, love towards their counterparts, the way one thinksthing all contributeconstitutes to achieving a better quality.
To conclude, I would like to reiterate that though money is importanteminent, when it comes to livelihood and quality of life, it would be dogmatic to assert that wealth is more important thanthe most important than other factors involved in healthy livinga healthy living. Along with the other factorsdeterminers and money spent wiselyrightly spend money, life is beautiful!
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay addresses both questions in a clear two-part structure, identifying necessities, charity, and public causes as uses of money and linking a good life to well-being, relationships, and personal qualities. Its main weakness is precision: over-ambitious vocabulary is frequently misused, and several explanations become unclear or unconvincing. Prioritise simpler, accurate language and develop each main idea with one concrete example and an explicit link to quality of life.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are answered with several relevant ideas, but some examples and claims are insufficiently explained or only loosely connected to the proposed use of money or a good life.
Select the strongest uses and life factors, then explain each with a realistic example showing why it contributes to individual or social well-being.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing clearly separates the two questions and the numbered ideas provide progression, though mechanical sequencing and unclear sentence logic occasionally disrupt flow.
Build each paragraph around one central claim and use cause-and-effect links instead of listing several loosely developed points.
Lexical Resource
The essay attempts an extensive academic vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate or overly ornate choices substantially reduce naturalness and precision.
Prefer direct terms such as essential, many people, careful spending, average family, public projects, mental well-being, and personal qualities.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of structures is attempted, but comparative forms, agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence construction show frequent errors and sometimes obscure meaning.
Use complete declarative sentences, check every verb against its subject, and revise comparative and passive structures before adding complex phrasing.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Money is important in most people's lives. Although some people think it is more important than others. What do you feel are the right uses of money? What other factors are important for a good life?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.