In many countries, the costs of living are rising. What are the effects on individuals and society? Suggest solutions to this problem.
Sample Response
These days, many people around the world are struggling to deal with rising living costs. The following essay will outline some of the effects of this issue, and some possible solutions.
Higher living costs are affecting both individuals and society in a number of ways. On an individual level, many people, particularly those living in big cities these days, cannot keep up with the rising costs of living and therefore have to have more than one job in order to make ends meet. As a result, these people barely have any time left for leisure activities and could even be more prone to negative medical conditions like depression or anxiety disorder. On a societal level, rising living costs can cause people with financial problems to turn to crime in order to make more money. For example, in some Asian countries where the monthly salary of a police officer is very low, many of them turn to corruption to make enough money.
Although rising living costs pose serious problems in many places, there are a number of solutions that could be implemented to help tackle this issue. Firstly, individuals need to learn how to budget their income more effectively, and be careful not to waste money. By adhering to a strict budget, people will be able to pay their bills and save money to cover other expenses. On the other hand, governments should enact laws to ensure that citizens receive minimum wages that are enough to cover rising living expenses. Lastly, governments can create more jobs, particularly in big cities where living costs are much higher.
In conclusion, although many people around the world are finding it difficult to cope with rising living costs, there are a number of solutions that may help to mitigate the problem
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use direct phrasing Original: The following essay will outline Suggested revision: This essay outlines Why it matters: The revision states the essay's purpose more directly and concisely.
- 2. Remove redundant timing Original: big cities these days Suggested revision: big cities Why it matters: The time reference is unnecessary because the paragraph already describes the current situation.
- 3. Improve verb choice Original: have Suggested revision: work Why it matters: People work jobs rather than have jobs in this description of their workload.
- 4. Fix unsupported comparison Original: could even be more prone to Suggested revision: could become more prone to Why it matters: More prone requires a clear comparison, while become expresses the intended change directly.
- 5. Use precise category Original: negative medical conditions Suggested revision: mental health conditions Why it matters: Depression and anxiety are specifically mental health conditions.
- 6. Use plural form Original: disorder Suggested revision: disorders Why it matters: The plural form fits the general reference to possible conditions.
- 7. Remove unnecessary comma Original: effectively, and Suggested revision: effectively and Why it matters: A comma is not needed between two coordinated verb phrases with the same subject.
- 8. Use additive transition Original: On the other hand Suggested revision: Furthermore Why it matters: The government measure adds another solution rather than presenting an opposing alternative.
- 9. Use natural collocation Original: minimum wages that are enough Suggested revision: wages that are high enough Why it matters: High enough is the natural way to describe wages that can meet living expenses.
- 10. Add final period Original: the problem Suggested revision: the problem. Why it matters: The concluding sentence needs terminal punctuation.
- 11. Use concise wording Original: struggling to deal with Suggested revision: struggling with Why it matters: The shorter phrase expresses the same difficulty more directly.
- 12. Use natural quantifier Original: barely have any time left Suggested revision: have very little time left Why it matters: Very little time is a more natural formal expression for the intended scarcity.
Suggested Rewrites
- The following essay will outline This essay outlines
- big cities these days big cities
- have work
- could even be more prone to could become more prone to
- negative medical conditions mental health conditions
- disorder disorders
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response is strongest in its clear, well-organised treatment of both personal and societal effects, supported by practical solutions and generally precise language. Its main limitation is that some support remains broad or only partly convincing, especially the corruption example and the briefly developed job-creation proposal. The highest-priority improvement is to explain more explicitly how each example or solution connects to rising living costs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both requested effects and proposes relevant individual and governmental solutions with generally clear development.
Develop each solution's likely mechanism and impact more fully, particularly the proposal to create jobs.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through effects, solutions, and a conclusion, with clear paragraphing and effective referencing.
Use linking phrases more precisely, replacing the contrast marker before the government solutions with an additive transition.
Lexical Resource
A good range of topic-specific vocabulary conveys ideas accurately, with only occasional awkward combinations.
Refine collocations such as negative medical conditions and choose more natural expressions for mental-health consequences.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied complex structures are handled with good control, and the few errors do not impede communication.
Polish article use, punctuation, and singular-plural choices to make the response consistently accurate.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In many countries, the costs of living are rising. What are the effects on individuals and society? Suggest solutions to this problem.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.