Some workplaces do not ensure the safety of workers who use dangerous equipment. What can be done? Who should take responsibilities to ensure safety at workplaces? What is your opinion on that?
Sample Response
Nowadays, work safety is very important and receives a lot of attention in many countries. However, there are still some places where dangerous equipment is used but the workers’ safety is not guaranteed. In order to enhance the safety of people involved, we need to establish a work safety procedure and put responsibilities on every person. Firstly, a safety protocol needs to be in place with a list of all necessary measures. This will include doing a risk assessment to carefully examine and predict all the foreseeable risks and consequences a person might encounter during equipment operation. Secondly, all the workers who are expected to work with dangerous facilities need to be educated intensively on the equipment handling and operating techniques. Education helps workers to be more aware of what they are dealing with and take necessary precautions. Lastly, supervisors should be employed to take care of the workers during working hours and alert them if any suspicious thing happens. Everybody should be liable for ensuring safety at any workplace, including business owners, managers, supervisors and workers themselves. The owners are accountable for the whole business process, including the welfare of their staff. On the other hand, the workers are the ones who actually do the work and use these hazardous facilities. Hence, they know better than anyone else on the risks they have and be cautious of them. In addition, the government and authority should be also answerable to ensure the safety of all work places under their care. In conclusion, everyone who is involved in the work and the authority should take part in making workplaces safe for workers. In addition, business entities should have a safety protocol with a rigorous risk assessment, worker training programmes and supervision so that people can enjoy a better workplace.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Natural collocation Original: enhance the safety of people involved Suggested revision: improve the safety of the people involved Why it matters: “Improve safety” is more natural, and the phrase needs “the people.”
- 2. Precise wording Original: put responsibilities on every person Suggested revision: assign responsibility to everyone involved Why it matters: This is a more natural and formal phrase.
- 3. Hyphenate compound Original: equipment handling and operating techniques Suggested revision: equipment-handling and operating techniques Why it matters: The compound modifier should be hyphenated.
- 4. Use task wording Original: dangerous facilities Suggested revision: dangerous equipment Why it matters: The task is about equipment; “facilities” is less precise.
- 5. Precise verb Original: take care of the workers Suggested revision: monitor workers Why it matters: This is more precise in a workplace-safety context.
- 6. Formal phrasing Original: if any suspicious thing happens Suggested revision: if any unsafe situation occurs Why it matters: This is more formal and specific.
- 7. Correct collocation Original: the risks they have Suggested revision: the risks they face Why it matters: “Face risks” is the natural collocation.
- 8. Preposition Original: be cautious of them Suggested revision: be cautious about them Why it matters: Use “about” after “cautious” in this context.
- 9. Word order Original: the government and authority should be also answerable Suggested revision: the government and authorities should also be answerable Why it matters: Move “also” before the verb phrase and use plural “authorities.”
- 10. Spelling Original: all work places Suggested revision: all workplaces Why it matters: “Workplaces” is normally one word.
- 11. Sentence rewrite Original: In order to enhance the safety of people involved, we need to establish a work safety procedure and put responsibilities on every person. Suggested revision: To improve worker safety, companies should establish clear safety procedures and assign responsibility to everyone involved. Why it matters: This states the main solution and responsibility more directly.
- 12. Sentence rewrite Original: Lastly, supervisors should be employed to take care of the workers during working hours and alert them if any suspicious thing happens. Suggested revision: Lastly, supervisors should monitor workers during working hours and alert them if any unsafe situation occurs. Why it matters: The rewrite uses more precise safety vocabulary.
Suggested Rewrites
- enhance the safety of people involved improve the safety of the people involved
- put responsibilities on every person assign responsibility to everyone involved
- equipment handling and operating techniques equipment-handling and operating techniques
- dangerous facilities dangerous equipment
- take care of the workers monitor workers
- if any suspicious thing happens if any unsafe situation occurs
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The response fully addresses what can be done and who should be responsible, with a clear opinion that responsibility is shared. Measures such as risk assessment, training, supervision, and government oversight are relevant and well chosen.
Rank the responsibilities more clearly by explaining that employers carry primary legal responsibility while workers and governments support compliance.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument is logical and easy to follow, but it is written as one long paragraph. Cohesion within the paragraph is adequate, though the answer would be stronger with separate sections for measures and responsibility.
Split the essay into an introduction, safety measures, responsibility, and conclusion.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is strong for the topic, including protocol, risk assessment, precautions, hazardous facilities, and accountable. Some collocations are still unnatural.
Use natural workplace-safety phrases such as “dangerous equipment,” “equipment operation,” “legal responsibility,” and “regulatory authorities.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammar is generally accurate and meaning is clear, but there are errors with passive forms, prepositions, noun phrases, and word order.
Check passive constructions and avoid adding unnecessary articles or plural forms in fixed workplace terms.