Nowadays, more people travel abroad for tourism than ever before. why it happen? and do you think this is a positive or negative development?
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Sample Response
In recent years, the rise of travelers enjoying tourism abroad has generated widespread debate. There are several reasons why this phenomenon happenscan happen, and while it would be an overstatement to dismiss the potential drawbacks entirely, I am firmly of the view that the benefits substantially outweigh the disadvantages.
As for the reason which causes the preference of traveling abroad, people have more largereconomical budgets for their overseasoversea travel plans, while international interactions have accelerated it a lot as well. Take Chinese people as an example, on the one hand, an increasing number of Chinese people have gained a higher quality of lifehigher life qualities with good salaries, and thus they have more money for planning their holiday trips. On the other hand, more frequent international interactions and cooperations have also provided people with more opportunities to learn aboutapproaches to know other countries’ events, feel their cultures and grasp the latest news, which sparks their curiositypromotes their curiosities. Therefore, more people prefer to go abroad to broadenexplore their horizons and experience different customs and cultures. Moreover, social media hashave also boosted this trend. More than half of all individuals use social media platforms for entertainment, which directly offers them a method to contact people from other countriescontact with other countries people online. Foreigners postposed pictures of food, drinks, landscapes and even their daily lives on social media, which stimulates people’s desire to have a look by themselves. Overall, more individuals choose to travel abroad because of these causes.
This trend absolutely has both positive and negative effectspros and cons effects, and I believe the positive one is more significant. Even though its negative influences still should not be overlooked. For instance, the growing number of people travelling abroad may lead to a decrease in domestic tourism revenuethe decreasing of incomes of local tourism. Besides, this consequence also has partly resulted in severe cultural erosionerosions, which is not beneficial for the development of traditional culture. However, further benefits have been brought simultaneously, which are more crucial than the disadvantages. The most notable one isMost notable one is cross-cultural interactions and traditional cultural communications. When people travel to other countries, they also take local culture to those places. From this, local traditional culture can fostercan be foster greater global awareness and appreciation. For example, there are some popular typical short videos spreading on global social media platforms that some Chinese artists are playing a traditional musicalmusic instrument or dancing with stunning clothes and accessories with stunning Chinese traits in front of the Eiffel TowerAfel tower in France, beside London bridge, or even on any normal streets inat various countries. Chinese culture is becoming well known tois being well-known by more and more people overseas. Apart from that, cultural communication also promotes the local economypromotes local economy and enhances international business and cooperation in the next step.
In conclusion, a careful and balanced analysis of this issue leads me to the conclusion that the tangible benefits of overseas tourism considerably and convincingly outweigh any conceivable drawbacks.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay effectively addresses all parts of the prompt with a clear, well-supported opinion and well-developed arguments regarding the causes and impact of international tourism. Its main strength lies in the depth of response and logical task coverage, while its chief limitation is a pattern of noticeable grammatical inaccuracies and awkward phrasing. Prioritizing accuracy in verb forms, prepositions, and noun collocations will elevate the overall language control.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response fully addresses both questions by exploring reasons for increased overseas travel and providing a clear, supported opinion on why it is a positive development.
Ensure arguments for counterpoints are fully explained to avoid brief, assertive claims about drawbacks before moving to the advantages.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is organized logically across clear paragraphs with a smooth progression of ideas.
Refine transitional phrases to ensure cohesive linkers sound natural rather than slightly wordy or mechanical.
Lexical Resource
A good variety of topic-specific vocabulary and flexible expressions is used effectively to convey nuanced ideas.
Pay closer attention to word collocations and precise terminology, avoiding minor word choice errors like 'economical budgets'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of complex structure types is attempted, but recurring grammatical and tense errors occasionally distract the reader.
Focus on proofreading for basic structure errors such as passive voice formation, subject-verb agreement, and preposition selection.