These days, many people keep pets like dogs and cats as their companions at their houses, and this trend is getting popular. Why do you think pet ownership is increasing? What are the advantages of keeping pets as companions?
Sample Response
In recent years, the ownership of pets, like dogs and cats, has been on the rise, with the growing number of individuals choosing to bring furry friends into their households. This essay will first discuss how emotional bonding and social media influence are the primary causes of this growing phenomenon, and then discuss how it proves to be advantageous to human health - both mental and physical.
The reasons behind this phenomenon are the emotional connection and social media influence. Pets have always been deemed as charming companions, but their significance has grown even more lately. Many people now consider their pets to be members of the family, finding emotional solace and unswerving loyalty in their furry companions. Likewise, the rise of social media sites has also contributed to the increase in pet ownership. Captivating stories and adorable videos flood our social media news feed, encouraging individuals to adopt a pet of their own. For instance, social media platforms like Facebook have even led to the emergence of pet influencers, which has in turn contributed to the popularity and appeal of pet ownership.
Having pets as friends offers some real advantages, such as stress reduction and health benefits. The social interaction between individuals and pets boosts the levels of the feel-good hormone oxytocin, the hormone associated with bonding mothers to babies. For example, a recent study reveals that an amazing 86 per cent of post-traumatic stress disorder patients accompanied by a serving dog report a significant decrease in symptoms, and 38 per cent are able to reduce their medications. Moreover, the oxytocin-boosting benefits of keeping pets also help hold owners’ blood pressure at bay. Keeping pets thus reaps many health benefits.
In conclusion, a growing number of people are keeping pets in their homes because of emotional support and social media influence. It has remarkable benefits including reducing anxiety and preventing blood pressure.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use correct article Original: the Suggested revision: a Why it matters: The group is introduced generally, so it takes a.
- 2. Remove extra preposition Original: deemed as charming companions Suggested revision: deemed charming companions Why it matters: Deem takes a direct complement without as.
- 3. Use plural feeds Original: feed Suggested revision: feeds Why it matters: The statement refers to multiple users and platforms.
- 4. Use academic wording Original: offers some real advantages Suggested revision: offers significant advantages Why it matters: Significant is more precise in an academic essay.
- 5. Use service-dog term Original: serving Suggested revision: service Why it matters: Service dog is the established term.
- 6. Correct reap subject Original: Keeping pets thus reaps Suggested revision: Pet owners thus reap Why it matters: People reap benefits; the activity itself does not.
- 7. Name the condition Original: preventing blood pressure Suggested revision: reducing high blood pressure Why it matters: Blood pressure itself is not prevented.
- 8. Use concise cause phrase Original: primary causes of this growing phenomenon Suggested revision: main reasons for this trend Why it matters: The revision avoids repetition of growing and phenomenon.
- 9. Avoid absolute claim Original: proves to be advantageous Suggested revision: can benefit Why it matters: Can benefit expresses the claim more precisely and concisely.
- 10. Use additive linker Original: Likewise, the rise Suggested revision: In addition, the rise Why it matters: In addition clearly introduces a second cause rather than a similarity.
- 11. Fix relative agreement Original: pet influencers, which has Suggested revision: pet influencers, a trend that has Why it matters: The added noun trend gives the singular verb has a clear antecedent.
- 12. Keep objective register Original: an amazing 86 per cent Suggested revision: 86 per cent Why it matters: Amazing is evaluative and unnecessary when reporting a statistic.
Suggested Rewrites
- the a
- deemed as charming companions deemed charming companions
- feed feeds
- offers some real advantages offers significant advantages
- serving service
- Keeping pets thus reaps Pet owners thus reap
Why this response received Band 7.5
The essay fully addresses both questions through clear causes and well-developed mental and physical health benefits, with logical paragraphing and a specific supporting illustration. Its main limitations are comparatively minor: scientific claims and statistics lack context, and several collocations become imprecise near the conclusion. Qualify the evidence, add a direct everyday benefit such as increased exercise, and refine phrases concerning service dogs and blood-pressure reduction.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both the growth in ownership and the advantages of pets are directly and substantially developed through relevant explanation and examples.
Strengthen the physical-health discussion with a clearly explained everyday mechanism, such as owners walking dogs more regularly.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction, two focused body paragraphs, and conclusion create clear progression, with cohesive links that rarely draw attention away from the ideas.
Reduce repeated references to the same causes and benefits so the conclusion synthesises rather than restates the body.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and often precise, including "emotional solace," "unswerving loyalty," and "stress reduction," but several collocations are inaccurate.
Use "regarded as," "service dog," "keep high blood pressure at bay," and "pet ownership brings benefits."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of structures is generally controlled, although minor article, reference, and agreement errors remain noticeable in several sentences.
Clarify pronoun reference and agreement, especially in the thesis and conclusion, and check articles in phrases such as "a growing number."
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IELTS Writing Task 2
These days, many people keep pets like dogs and cats as their companions at their houses, and this trend is getting popular. Why do you think pet ownership is increasing? What are the advantages of keeping pets as companions?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.