In many cities crime is increasing. Why do you think this is happening? What can governments do to help reduce crime levels?
Sample Response
Crime is a very old phenomenon and no one knows when it actually started. The sad fact is that the crime rate is increasingcrime rate is increasing including murder, theft, robbery, kidnapping and rapekilling, stealing, robbing, kidnapping, rape… Deleteetc. Actually, there are many reasons for that serious social problemawful and miserable phenomenon.
Some people always look at other people's propertyother peoples' properties and are not pleased with what they havenot pleased with what they have. And that, of course, leads to hatred and then leads to crimethen lead to misdeeds. Moreover, some people are mentally illpsychiatric disordered and which in turn leads to violence. Another important causeAnother thing that we should take care of is a lack of money for basic needsthe lack of necessary money; many criminals would not have become criminals if they had had enough money and other daily needs for themselves and their families. In a recent study about crimes and their reasons, one crime studyprofessor Kathy Mac James said that 85% of gang members85% gangsters joined gangs due to the shortage of social welfare. She protested that the majority of gang members were either orphansthis majority of gangsters were either orphan who didn't get enough care during childhood and adolescence or not married. Governments should respond with practical prevention policies.Now it is the time to raise an important
Why this response received Band 4.5
This response identifies several possible causes of urban crime, but it is incomplete and under length. It never answers the second half of the prompt about government action, and the argument stops without a conclusion; frequent grammar and word-choice errors further reduce clarity. The priority is to add a developed solutions paragraph, finish with a brief conclusion, and use shorter, complete sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response is under length and incomplete. It discusses causes but does not answer what governments can do, so a major part of the task is missing.
Add a full second body paragraph on government solutions, such as welfare support, policing, education, rehabilitation, and youth programmes.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is basic paragraphing, but progression stops mid-idea and the response has no conclusion or solution section.
Plan four paragraphs before writing: introduction, causes, government actions, conclusion.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary has some range for crime and social issues, but several expressions are inaccurate or too informal.
Use precise terms such as crime rates, property crime, violent crime, poverty, mental illness, social welfare, and prevention.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent grammar errors in agreement, sentence fragments, and word forms reduce clarity, though some ideas remain understandable.
Write shorter sentences and check each clause for subject-verb agreement and complete structure.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In many cities crime is increasing. Why do you think this is happening? What can governments do to help reduce crime levels?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.