The roads in major cities today are often difficult to travel on. What are the causes of this? What are some possible solutions?
Sample Response
As world populations transition from rural to urban settings, there has been a resultant degradation of travel conditions within cities. The main causes of this are all related to overpopulation and the solution is for governments to incentivise living outside city limits.
The clearest source of crowded roads and degrading infrastructure is surging urban populations. Research has shown that now more than half the world is densely packed into cities built hundreds of years ago. Take Boston as an example. Boston was built for a population of under 100,000 people, who mainly travelled by walking or riding horses and carriages. Today the population is nearly a million and that means the narrow roads are gridlocked with traffic during rush hour. The relentless pounding of an overpopulated city also means that the roads suffer from greater wear and tear, which necessitates constant maintenance and exacerbates the average citizen’s daily commute.
In order to mitigate these issues, governments could encourage people to move outside cities. One half measure would be to lower taxes in neighboring districts. Many people could still commute to work from nearby suburbs, as is the case in most major cities already. Governments could also give special tax breaks and dispensations to companies that allow workers to work remotely. This would free people up to live outside of cities or, if they opt to remain in the city, they at least would not contribute to rush hour traffic.
In conclusion, worsening travel conditions for urban dwellers can be curbed through government intervention. The nations that take up this cause will be well placed to compete in a rapidly evolving 21st century.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural noun phrase Original: world populations Suggested revision: the world’s population Why it matters: The singular collective phrase is more natural when referring to humanity as a whole.
- 2. Simplify abstract wording Original: resultant degradation Suggested revision: resulting decline Why it matters: This revision conveys the same meaning more directly and naturally.
- 3. Supply object after verb Original: incentivise living Suggested revision: incentivise people to live Why it matters: “Incentivise” normally takes the people being encouraged as its object.
- 4. Choose correct adjective Original: degrading Suggested revision: deteriorating Why it matters: “Deteriorating” describes infrastructure becoming worse, while “degrading” usually describes something causing loss of dignity or quality.
- 5. Improve adverb placement Original: Research has shown that now Suggested revision: Research now shows that Why it matters: Placing “now” before the main verb creates a clearer and more natural clause.
- 6. Name the population Original: more than half the world Suggested revision: more than half of the world’s population Why it matters: The intended statistic concerns people rather than the physical world.
- 7. Restore parallel structure Original: by walking or riding horses and carriages Suggested revision: on foot, on horseback, or by carriage Why it matters: The three travel modes need parallel grammatical forms, and people ride in rather than ride carriages.
- 8. Tighten cause link Original: population is nearly a million and that means Suggested revision: population is nearly a million, which means Why it matters: A relative clause connects the population figure to its stated consequence more smoothly.
- 9. Replace strained metaphor Original: relentless pounding of an overpopulated city Suggested revision: intensive use of roads in an overpopulated city Why it matters: The revision identifies the source of road wear precisely instead of using an unclear metaphor.
- 10. Correct expression Original: half Suggested revision: partial Why it matters: “Half measure” usually means an inadequate action, whereas the context introduces one component of a broader solution.
- 11. Use fitting incentive Original: dispensations Suggested revision: incentives Why it matters: “Incentives” fits policies that encourage remote work more naturally than “dispensations.”
- 12. Use concise verb form Original: free people up to live Suggested revision: enable people to live Why it matters: “Enable” expresses the intended possibility more directly and formally.
Suggested Rewrites
- world populations the world’s population
- resultant degradation resulting decline
- incentivise living incentivise people to live
- degrading deteriorating
- Research has shown that now Research now shows that
- more than half the world more than half of the world’s population
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response answers both parts directly and develops a clear cause-and-solution argument with a concrete city example and practical policy measures. Its main limitation is that the analysis largely reduces the causes to urban population growth, leaving other relevant pressures unexplored and making the treatment slightly narrow. The highest-priority improvement is to distinguish multiple contributing causes and connect each proposed measure more explicitly to the problem it addresses.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are fully addressed with a clear central argument, relevant explanation, and specific supporting examples.
Broaden the causal analysis by separating population pressure from factors such as planning, transport provision, or private-car dependence.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas are sequenced clearly, paragraphs have distinct purposes, and cohesive devices guide the reader without becoming mechanical.
Make the links between each solution and each identified road problem even more explicit to sharpen the argument's internal logic.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, precise, and appropriately formal, with effective expressions for infrastructure, congestion, and government policy.
Refine the few slightly exaggerated or less natural choices, such as relentless pounding, to maintain consistently exact wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide variety of sentence forms is used accurately, and the great majority of sentences are error-free.
Maintain this control while tightening occasional long sentences so that their logical relationships remain immediately transparent.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The roads in major cities today are often difficult to travel on. What are the causes of this? What are some possible solutions?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.