The highways department blames the high road toll on poor vehicle maintenance. However, there are strict laws regarding vehicle maintenance and road worthiness, and there are frequent inspections. The roads are very poor and badly maintained. What is your view? Discuss.
Sample Response
Road traffic accidents and traffic issues are two major problems all around the globe. There are more debates about the poorly maintained vehicles and toll collecting centres along the highways. In fact, travel network, roads, and traffic system in many parts of the world are in poor condition and need repairing. However, in my opinion, frequent road inspection and regulation by law is needed to ensure safety condition of the road and vehicles.
Obviously, thousands of people lose their life because of alleged road traffic accidents. It is important to maintain the good condition of roads. For instance, India is the country with 4 different climates and road network around the country is in a bad condition during Monsoon. Roads during this time become slippery and gutters make the travel dangerous for people. A large number of motor-vehicle travellers die each year due to the poor maintenance of roads and traffic. So it is important to safeguard the public and government and law enforcing authorities have important roles to play for this.
Firstly, the government collects a huge amount of money every year as vehicle tax. This money should be utilised to modify and repair the old, poor conditioned roads. There is news about the corruption in public work departments and the unscientific ways of building the roads. So government should be strict to control such corruption and misconduct. Penalties should be imposed on engineers and companies who show any sign of corruption and negligence from their side. The company who handled the work and had produced faulty output should be banned from future work. Continuously, there are toll centres along the highways and they are collecting money for many years. the government should make sure this money is used for road safety. Finally, the public transportation system in many areas is old and need repair and renovation. Safety standards for all vehicles should be inspected periodically.
In conclusion, road accidents are one of the leading causes of death in many countries and it is the government’s responsibility to save its citizens from such accident. By improving the standard of roads, imposing strict punishment for violation of traffic rule, monitoring development work, the government can play its role while the citizens should obey the traffic rule in every way possible to minimise this casualty.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use uncountable noun Original: debates Suggested revision: debate Why it matters: Debate is uncountable when referring generally to public discussion.
- 2. Keep nouns parallel Original: travel network, roads, and traffic system Suggested revision: transport networks, roads, and traffic systems Why it matters: Plural nouns make the items in this general list grammatically parallel.
- 3. Remove inaccurate qualifier Original: alleged road traffic accidents Suggested revision: road traffic accidents Why it matters: Alleged suggests that the accidents themselves may not have occurred, which obscures the intended meaning.
- 4. Match plural possessive Original: life Suggested revision: lives Why it matters: The plural subject people requires the plural noun lives in this expression.
- 5. Use indefinite article Original: the Suggested revision: a Why it matters: India is one country among many, so the indefinite article is required here.
- 6. Add article and noun Original: during Monsoon Suggested revision: during the monsoon season Why it matters: This seasonal reference requires an article and is clearer with season.
- 7. Use natural term Original: motor-vehicle travellers Suggested revision: road users Why it matters: Road users is the natural collective term for people travelling by motor vehicle.
- 8. Use correct preposition Original: as vehicle tax Suggested revision: in vehicle taxes Why it matters: Money is collected in taxes, and the general reference requires the plural form.
- 9. Correct condition phrase Original: old, poor conditioned roads Suggested revision: old roads in poor condition Why it matters: In poor condition is the standard expression for deteriorated roads.
- 10. Use natural report phrase Original: There is news about the corruption Suggested revision: There are reports of corruption Why it matters: Plural reports with of corruption expresses the intended claim naturally.
- 11. Use established term Original: work Suggested revision: works Why it matters: Public works is the established term for government construction and infrastructure services.
- 12. Add definite article Original: So government Suggested revision: Therefore, the government Why it matters: Government needs the definite article when referring to the national authority.
Suggested Rewrites
- debates debate
- travel network, roads, and traffic system transport networks, roads, and traffic systems
- alleged road traffic accidents road traffic accidents
- life lives
- the a
- during Monsoon during the monsoon season
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response presents a clear concern for road safety and develops several relevant government actions, particularly road repair, oversight, and vehicle inspection. Its main limitation is that it does not directly and consistently evaluate the highways department's attempt to blame vehicles despite poor roads, while recurring awkward phrasing reduces precision. Prioritise a sharper central judgement and organise each supporting point around that judgement.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response gives a clear view and relevant proposals, but only partly confronts the central dispute over whether vehicles or poor roads cause the toll.
State a direct judgement on the department's claim and develop each cause in relation to that judgement.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress through clear paragraphs, although links within the long third paragraph are sometimes loose or mechanical.
Group road funding, corruption, toll revenue, and vehicle inspection into more clearly sequenced supporting points.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a sufficient range of topic vocabulary, but recurring awkward collocations and imprecise word choices limit flexibility.
Replace expressions such as poor conditioned roads and faulty output with natural, precise transport and infrastructure collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the argument, though agreement, article, plural, and sentence-control errors recur.
Edit systematically for subject-verb agreement, articles, countable nouns, and accurate complex sentence boundaries.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The highways department blames the high road toll on poor vehicle maintenance. However, there are strict laws regarding vehicle maintenance and road worthiness, and there are frequent inspections. The roads are very poor and badly maintained. What is your view? Discuss.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.