Today different types of robots are being developed which can serve as companions and workers to help at work and at home. Is this a positive or negative development?
Sample Response
Nowadays, the robotics industry is beginning to penetrate both home and work environments. In my opinion, advances in robotics generally and artificial intelligence more specifically have their merits but are isolating.
Proponents of these innovations point to the eradication of inefficiencies. This applies to both workplaces and homes. At work, there are a range of responsibilities being carried out by humans that could be done by robots ranging from the transportation of goods and photocopying to slightly more robust tasks such as data input and security. As artificial intelligence becomes more self-sufficient it is likely that companies will be able to increase efficiency and humans can prioritise the areas where they most excel. In homes, the situation is similar as robots may be able to take over chores such as washing the dishing and cleaning, freeing up individuals to focus on more pleasurable pastimes.
Nonetheless, the growth of a robotics industry exacerbates a modern trend towards isolation. People today are seemingly more connected than ever before thanks to the internet and social media, however, real world connection is on the decline. The workplace and home are two of the last remaining spaces to build meaningful, interpersonal relationships. A rise in the number of robots, as is the case in Japan where it is now possible to purchase a robot companion, will lead to a concomitant decrease in human relations. It seems unlikely that people would completely stop talking to each other but the pervasiveness of online life can serve as a warning that humanity is only too willing to subsist on one-way, inauthentic relationships.
In conclusion, despite the benefits robots bring for productivity, their isolating effect will make them a negative on level. Individuals must therefore strive to maintain strong human relationships.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use neutral wording Original: penetrate Suggested revision: enter Why it matters: 'Enter' conveys growing adoption without the intrusive connotation of 'penetrate'.
- 2. Avoid overstatement Original: eradication Suggested revision: reduction Why it matters: 'Reduction' fits the later claim of increased efficiency without implying that every inefficiency disappears.
- 3. Fix subject agreement Original: are Suggested revision: is Why it matters: The head of the subject phrase is the singular noun 'range', so the verb should be singular.
- 4. Use concise wording Original: responsibilities being carried out Suggested revision: tasks being performed Why it matters: The revision is more concise and better suited to specific workplace activities.
- 5. Choose accurate adjective Original: robust Suggested revision: complex Why it matters: 'Complex' describes the greater difficulty of data entry and security more accurately than 'robust'.
- 6. Use standard term Original: input Suggested revision: entry Why it matters: 'Data entry' is the conventional term for this workplace task.
- 7. Clarify simultaneous outcomes Original: efficiency and humans Suggested revision: efficiency, while humans Why it matters: 'While' clearly links the simultaneous benefits for companies and human workers.
- 8. Correct the noun Original: dishing Suggested revision: dishes Why it matters: 'Dishing' is a verbal form, whereas the household objects intended here are 'dishes'.
- 9. Use definite article Original: a Suggested revision: the Why it matters: The established industry under discussion requires the definite article.
- 10. Correct malformed phrase Original: negative on level Suggested revision: negative overall Why it matters: 'Negative overall' clearly expresses the intended final judgement.
- 11. Sentence rewrite Original: In my opinion, advances in robotics generally and artificial intelligence more specifically have their merits but are isolating. Suggested revision: In my opinion, advances in robotics generally, and in artificial intelligence more specifically, offer benefits but can also increase isolation. Why it matters: The rewrite creates parallel complements and makes the contrast between benefits and social effects grammatically clear.
Suggested Rewrites
- penetrate enter
- eradication reduction
- are is
- responsibilities being carried out tasks being performed
- robust complex
- input entry
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response presents a clear, nuanced judgement and develops both productivity benefits and the risk of social isolation with relevant, well-selected support. Its main limitation is a small number of conspicuous wording and grammatical slips that interrupt an otherwise precise and fluent argument. The highest-priority improvement is careful final proofreading to remove these local errors and make the conclusion fully polished.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The question is fully addressed through a clear negative judgement that weighs a developed benefit against a more consequential drawback.
Refine the final judgement by briefly clarifying why the social cost ultimately outweighs the productivity gain.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses clearly through well-focused paragraphs, with cohesive devices used naturally and relationships between ideas easy to follow.
Make the final transition from weighing both sides to the negative conclusion slightly more explicit.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary supports nuanced discussion, with only isolated slips such as “washing the dishing” and “negative on level.”
Proofread for accidental word-choice errors so that every phrase matches the otherwise strong lexical control.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of sentence forms is used flexibly and mostly accurately, though a few agreement and punctuation errors remain.
Check subject-verb agreement and punctuation around long clauses, especially before conjunctive adverbs such as “however.”
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Today different types of robots are being developed which can serve as companions and workers to help at work and at home. Is this a positive or negative development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.