Some people think that robots are very important to human's future development, while others think they are dangerous and have negative effects on society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
Our society has been undergoing numerous technological changes, among which is the rapid growth of the robotics industry. While some people express their concerns about the possible adverse impacts, I would argue that robots can offer vast benefits for humans’ future development.
On the one hand, the worry about the rise of robotics is justifiable, considering that jobs become casualties. As robots are versatile machines that often complete tasks with precision and ask for no perks such as insurance and paid time off, they appear more competitive than human beings in certain occupations. The assembly line in the automobile industry has already shown that the shift from human labor to machines can yield higher productivity. Another doubt people hold lies in the safety issue because there are situations where robots fail to handle an emergency flexibly but operate as they are programmed, causing damages that otherwise humans could avoid. These incidents inevitably lower people’s trust in automation.
On the other hand, I would side with others who have confidence in robots. Implementing robots benefit employees since they free workers from repetitive and tedious tasks and allow them more time for creative work and innovation. As for dangerous tasks such as defusing bombs or space exploration, robots save lives and go beyond human beings’ capacities, accomplishing what people cannot do. Additionally, in a daily life context, this game-changing technology has been adopted in the healthcare industry, assisting surgery or helping disabled and senior people to lead better lives. Its application in entertainment, households, and personal life is thriving, leading to further improvements in individuals’ lives.
In conclusion, as with any revolutionary technology, robots would give rise to drastic changes, including negative ones like job displacement. But new industries and businesses that people never imagined would also ensue. Therefore, I am convinced that robots will play a crucial role in humans’ future progression.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural collocation Original: vast Suggested revision: substantial Why it matters: “Substantial benefits” is a more natural academic collocation.
- 2. Refine possessive phrase Original: humans’ future development Suggested revision: humanity’s future development Why it matters: “Humanity” refers more naturally to people collectively in this context.
- 3. State effect directly Original: jobs become casualties Suggested revision: jobs may be lost Why it matters: The revised phrase expresses the employment consequence more directly and naturally.
- 4. Use formal wording Original: ask for no perks Suggested revision: require no employee benefits Why it matters: This wording avoids personifying machines and is more precise in an academic argument.
- 5. Clarify comparison Original: more competitive than human beings Suggested revision: more cost-effective than human workers Why it matters: The revision makes the economic basis of the comparison explicit from the preceding context.
- 6. Use concise phrasing Original: Another doubt people hold lies in the safety issue Suggested revision: Another concern is safety Why it matters: The original construction is awkward and unnecessarily indirect.
- 7. Improve verb collocation Original: handle an emergency flexibly Suggested revision: respond flexibly to an emergency Why it matters: “Respond to an emergency” is the natural verb-preposition combination.
- 8. Use uncountable noun Original: damages Suggested revision: damage Why it matters: “Damage” is uncountable when referring generally to harm.
- 9. Correct adverb placement Original: otherwise humans could avoid Suggested revision: humans could otherwise avoid Why it matters: “Otherwise” should modify “avoid” within the relative clause.
- 10. Fix agreement and wording Original: Implementing robots benefit employees Suggested revision: Using robots benefits employees Why it matters: The singular gerund phrase requires “benefits,” and “using robots” is more natural than “implementing robots.”
- 11. Use concise collocation Original: go beyond human beings’ capacities Suggested revision: exceed human capabilities Why it matters: This phrase conveys the same comparison more concisely and idiomatically.
- 12. Add required preposition Original: assisting surgery Suggested revision: assisting with surgery Why it matters: The verb “assist” takes “with” before the activity being supported.
Suggested Rewrites
- vast substantial
- humans’ future development humanity’s future development
- jobs become casualties jobs may be lost
- ask for no perks require no employee benefits
- more competitive than human beings more cost-effective than human workers
- Another doubt people hold lies in the safety issue Another concern is safety
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response presents a convincing, well-organised discussion of both the risks and benefits of robotics, supported by specific examples across employment, safety, exploration, and healthcare. Its main limitation is occasional awkward wording and a small number of grammatical slips within otherwise sophisticated language. The highest-priority improvement is to edit for precise collocation and subject-verb agreement so that the expression consistently matches the quality of the ideas.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are explored in depth, and the writer's favourable position is clear and consistently supported with relevant examples.
Connect the conclusion's point about new industries more explicitly to the earlier discussion so that the final qualification is fully developed.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses clearly through contrasting viewpoints, with effective paragraphing and cohesive reference throughout.
Within the benefits paragraph, group the examples around a sharper progression from workplace effects to wider social applications.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is wide, flexible, and often precise, although phrases such as 'another doubt people hold' and 'future progression' sound awkward.
Replace strained formulations with natural equivalents such as 'another concern is safety' and 'future development.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately, and the few errors do not interfere with communication.
Proofread subject-verb agreement and countability, correcting forms such as 'Implementing robots benefits employees' and 'causing damage.'
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that robots are very important to human's future development, while others think they are dangerous and have negative effects on society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.