Some people think that robots are very important to humans’ future development, but others think that they are dangerous and have negative effects on society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Technological advancements in robotics have sparked a debate regarding their significance in shaping the future of humanity. While some advocate for the pivotal role of robots in our development, others caution against their potential dangers, declaring negative societal impacts. This essay will discuss both perspectives and assert that they are indeed a danger to humanity and have negative effects on society.
Advocates of robotic integration argue that these machines represent a crucial asset in our evolutionary trajectory. Robots offer unparalleled precision, efficiency, and endurance in executing tasks, thereby augmenting human capabilities. For instance, in industries, automation through robots enhances productivity, reducing human error and streamlining processes. Furthermore, in healthcare, robotic surgical systems exhibit remarkable precision, benefiting patients with minimally invasive procedures.
Conversely, sceptics express concerns about the potential perils that arise from reliance on robots. One primary apprehension is the displacement of human labour due to automation, leading to job losses and economic disparity. Moreover, the autonomy and decision-making capabilities of robots raise ethical concerns, especially in fields such as artificial intelligence (AI), where a lack of control might result in unintended consequences, potentially harming society.
Personally, I align with the view that robots pose substantial risks and detrimental effects on society. The rapid integration of robots across various sectors may lead to widespread job displacement, exacerbating socioeconomic inequality. Moreover, the unchecked autonomy of advanced AI systems might pose unforeseen threats to humanity's safety and ethical norms.
In conclusion, while proponents view robots as pivotal in human progress, the potential dangers they pose, such as job displacement and ethical quandaries, warrant a cautious approach. Therefore it is expected that scientists and technology companies take cautionary approaches while developing and using robots.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct reporting verb Original: declaring negative societal impacts Suggested revision: citing potential negative societal impacts Why it matters: ‘Citing’ naturally introduces the concerns raised by the opposing group.
- 2. Clarify pronoun reference Original: they are indeed a danger Suggested revision: robots pose a genuine danger Why it matters: The explicit noun removes ambiguity about what ‘they’ refers to.
- 3. Use precise development term Original: our evolutionary trajectory Suggested revision: future human development Why it matters: This phrase matches the topic more directly and avoids an overstated biological metaphor.
- 4. Use natural setting phrase Original: in industries Suggested revision: in industrial settings Why it matters: This is the idiomatic expression for manufacturing and related workplaces.
- 5. Use standard inequality term Original: disparity Suggested revision: inequality Why it matters: ‘Economic inequality’ is the conventional term for uneven economic outcomes.
- 6. Clarify AI relationship Original: fields such as artificial intelligence (AI) Suggested revision: systems using artificial intelligence (AI) Why it matters: The concern is about autonomous systems using AI, not AI as a field containing robots.
- 7. Keep verb complements parallel Original: pose substantial risks and detrimental effects Suggested revision: pose substantial risks and have detrimental effects Why it matters: One poses risks but has effects, so the coordinated nouns require different verbs.
- 8. Correct pivotal phrase Original: in Suggested revision: to Why it matters: ‘Pivotal to’ is the natural collocation when describing importance to a process.
- 9. Condense the risk phrase Original: potential perils that arise from reliance on robots Suggested revision: risks of relying on robots Why it matters: The concise phrase preserves the meaning without inflated wording.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: Therefore it is expected that scientists and technology companies take cautionary approaches while developing and using robots. Suggested revision: Therefore, scientists and technology companies should proceed cautiously when developing and deploying robots. Why it matters: The rewrite adds the required comma and replaces the awkward expectation structure with a direct recommendation.
- 11. Reduce repeated risk points Suggested revision: Synthesize the job-displacement and autonomy concerns as the basis for your view instead of restating the preceding paragraph’s wording. Why it matters: The opinion paragraph currently repeats both risks with little change in progression.
Suggested Rewrites
- declaring negative societal impacts citing potential negative societal impacts
- they are indeed a danger robots pose a genuine danger
- our evolutionary trajectory future human development
- in industries in industrial settings
- disparity inequality
- fields such as artificial intelligence (AI) systems using artificial intelligence (AI)
Why this response received Band 7.5
The essay discusses both perspectives clearly, supports the benefits with industrial and medical examples, and maintains a consistent view that employment and ethical risks justify caution. Its main limitation is repetition: the personal-opinion paragraph largely restates the preceding concerns rather than deepening the analysis. The priority is to explain why those risks outweigh the demonstrated benefits or propose specific safeguards that follow from the position.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Both views are developed with relevant reasons and examples, and the writer's negative position is clear, although its comparative justification is not fully extended.
Explain why job displacement and uncontrolled autonomy outweigh the productivity and healthcare gains, or identify safeguards that would make the benefits acceptable.
Coherence and Cohesion
The five-paragraph structure and logical sequencing make the argument easy to follow, but the opinion paragraph repeats rather than advances the preceding negative case.
Use the opinion paragraph to weigh the two sides directly instead of restating job loss and autonomy concerns.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise range supports nuanced discussion, with only occasional over-elaborate or awkward combinations such as 'declaring negative societal impacts.'
Prefer concise phrasing such as 'warning of harmful social effects' and avoid repeating elevated terms when simpler wording is more exact.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are varied and consistently well controlled, with only rare punctuation or construction lapses that do not impede communication.
Add a comma after 'Therefore' and streamline the final recommendation to avoid the repetitive phrase 'cautionary approaches.'
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that robots are very important to humans’ future development, but others think that they are dangerous and have negative effects on society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.