Nowadays more tasks at home and work are being performed by robots. Is this a negative or positive development?
Sample Response
It is becoming increasingly common for homeowners and businesses to use robots to deal with daily tasks. I believe this trend is wholly positive because it saves individuals time and allows businesses to better allocate resources.
Those who use various advances in robotics in the home have more free time. Fully humanoid robots are rare but more and more families now use robotic vacuums such as the Roomba, mobile webcams for security surveillance, lawn care machines and devices that bridge the gap between robotics and artificial intelligence like Amazon Alexa and Google Home to make life easier. These devices save a lot of time for their users that can be better invested in hobbies, exercise, family, entertainment, and spending time with your significant other.
In the past, a sizeable percentage of operating budgets went to labour but as this number begins to dwindle we will see a concomitant rise in investiture in areas like research and development. Large companies such as Amazon, Google, Apple and automobile manufacturers can now invest in developing artificial intelligence, improving existing products, making safer cars, and so on. Over time, these benefits will add up to hasten both the pace of technological development and the speed with which new advances reach consumers. Robots will replace jobs reliant on manual labour and divert those wasted dollars to more important, creative areas that elevate human endeavours.
The large scale adoption of robotics bodes well for the future as it will streamline both home and work. There are looming risks related to massive unemployment but these can be mitigated with governmental regulation and by encouraging ethical corporate practices.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use precise terminology Original: various advances in robotics in the home Suggested revision: various domestic robotic technologies Why it matters: The replacement names the technologies more directly and avoids the awkward repeated prepositional phrases.
- 2. Punctuate the contrast Original: labour but Suggested revision: labour, but Why it matters: A comma is required before “but” when it joins two independent clauses.
- 3. Clarify the referent Original: this number begins to dwindle Suggested revision: this proportion declines Why it matters: “Proportion” refers precisely to the percentage of budgets mentioned earlier.
- 4. Correct the word choice Original: a concomitant rise in investiture Suggested revision: a corresponding increase in investment Why it matters: “Investment” is the correct noun for allocating money to research and development.
- 5. Use natural phrasing Original: jobs reliant on manual labour Suggested revision: jobs involving manual labour Why it matters: Jobs involve manual labour; describing the jobs themselves as reliant on it is less natural.
- 6. Clarify the financial action Original: divert those wasted dollars Suggested revision: redirect the money saved Why it matters: The revision makes clear that automation frees money for other uses rather than treating all labour spending as waste.
- 7. Name what is streamlined Original: streamline both home and work Suggested revision: streamline tasks both at home and at work Why it matters: The verb “streamline” needs a process or task as its object rather than the locations “home” and “work.”
- 8. Punctuate the contrast Original: unemployment but Suggested revision: unemployment, but Why it matters: A comma is required before “but” because the conjunction links two independent clauses.
- 9. Sentence rewrite Original: Fully humanoid robots are rare but more and more families now use robotic vacuums such as the Roomba, mobile webcams for security surveillance, lawn care machines and devices that bridge the gap between robotics and artificial intelligence like Amazon Alexa and Google Home to make life easier. Suggested revision: Although fully humanoid robots are rare, more families now use robotic vacuums such as the Roomba, mobile security cameras, lawn-care machines, and AI-enabled devices such as Amazon Alexa and Google Home. Why it matters: The rewrite controls the long list and makes the contrast and examples easier to follow.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: These devices save a lot of time for their users that can be better invested in hobbies, exercise, family, entertainment, and spending time with your significant other. Suggested revision: These devices save their users a great deal of time, which can be better invested in hobbies, exercise, family, entertainment, and time with a significant other. Why it matters: The rewrite fixes the misplaced relative clause and removes the shift from third person to second person.
- 11. Sentence rewrite Original: Over time, these benefits will add up to hasten both the pace of technological development and the speed with which new advances reach consumers. Suggested revision: Over time, these benefits will accelerate technological development and bring new advances to consumers more quickly. Why it matters: The revision removes the redundant pairing of “pace” and “speed” while preserving the two stated effects.
Suggested Rewrites
- various advances in robotics in the home various domestic robotic technologies
- labour but labour, but
- this number begins to dwindle this proportion declines
- a concomitant rise in investiture a corresponding increase in investment
- jobs reliant on manual labour jobs involving manual labour
- divert those wasted dollars redirect the money saved
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response gives a clear, well-developed positive position, supported by distinct benefits for households and businesses and organised with strong progression. Its main limitation is occasional imprecision or overstatement, especially in describing labour spending as wasted and treating smart devices as robots, while the unemployment counterpoint is only briefly handled. The highest-priority improvement is to qualify these claims and integrate the main risk more fully into the argument.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The prompt is answered directly with a clear position and two relevant, well-developed benefits, plus brief recognition of a major risk.
Integrate the unemployment concern more fully and qualify broad claims about which technologies count as robots.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear progression from domestic benefits to workplace effects, with cohesive links that rarely draw attention to themselves.
Make the final paragraph synthesize the two main benefits more explicitly rather than adding a largely undeveloped caveat.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary supports fluent discussion, despite a few overstated or less natural choices such as investiture and wasted dollars.
Prefer neutral, exact wording when describing labour costs and corporate investment to preserve an appropriately academic tone.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A broad range of complex structures is handled accurately, with only minor lapses that do not impede communication.
Maintain consistent pronoun perspective and punctuate longer coordinated sentences carefully to sharpen control further.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Nowadays more tasks at home and work are being performed by robots. Is this a negative or positive development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.