Some people think that sports play an important role in society. Others think they are nothing more than a leisure activity. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
Many feel sports play an essential role in society while others believe they are simply for entertainment and relaxation. From my point of view, though their stated purpose is leisure, sports serve key social and psychological purposes.
The claim that sports are largely just a leisure pastime is based on self-evident facts. Most people watch or participate in sports to release pressure and do not take them as seriously as other parts of life. For example, in England, football is the national sport and many individuals will play in amateur matches, follow their local team, and discuss sports with friends and family. Each of these activities can be broadly defined as a way of relaxing and a purposefully unproductive and enjoyable use of free time. If polled, the majority of individuals would state sports are an important yet entirely recreational part of their lives.
Nonetheless, sports in fact play the essential role of satisfying a number of deep psychological needs. The average sports fan invests a tremendous amount of time and self-esteem in the success or failure of their team. When the team wins, they can bask in the reflected glory and feel proud vicariously. Research has shown that even when a team loses, there is concomitant and addictive communal sensation of misery. Added to this are the variety of human drives that are satisfied by talking about the team, thinking about them in one’s spare time, reading and watching sports media, and being outraged or excited about team transactions. This all takes place within a welcoming community of like-minded individuals that approves of and normalizes this social behavior.
To conclude, despite the ostensible purpose of sports to entertain, they actually allow individuals to satisfy a range of crucial human desires. This makes sports a healthy hobby when not taken to obsessive extremes.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Avoid overstatement Original: self-evident facts Suggested revision: common observations Why it matters: The evidence described is observational rather than literally self-evident.
- 2. Use natural collocation Original: release pressure Suggested revision: relieve stress Why it matters: 'Relieve stress' is the standard collocation for relaxation through sport.
- 3. Use general present Original: many individuals will play Suggested revision: many individuals play Why it matters: The simple present is more appropriate for a general habitual statement.
- 4. Clarify contrast Original: and Suggested revision: yet Why it matters: 'Yet' makes the contrast between unproductive and enjoyable explicit.
- 5. Add reporting conjunction Original: would state sports are Suggested revision: would state that sports are Why it matters: Adding 'that' makes the reported clause clearer in formal prose.
- 6. Set off interrupter Original: sports in fact play Suggested revision: sports, in fact, play Why it matters: The interrupting phrase 'in fact' is conventionally enclosed by commas.
- 7. Fix illogical collocation Original: invests a tremendous amount of time and self-esteem in Suggested revision: invests a tremendous amount of time in and ties their self-esteem to Why it matters: Time can be invested, whereas self-esteem is more logically tied to an outcome.
- 8. Fix subject agreement Original: are Suggested revision: is Why it matters: The head noun 'variety' is singular and therefore takes 'is'.
- 9. Fix pronoun agreement Original: them Suggested revision: it Why it matters: The singular collective noun 'team' requires the singular pronoun 'it' in this usage.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: Research has shown that even when a team loses, there is concomitant and addictive communal sensation of misery. Suggested revision: Research has shown that even when a team loses, fans can experience a shared, compelling sense of misery. Why it matters: The rewrite supplies a clear experiencer and replaces the awkward noun phrase with natural wording.
Suggested Rewrites
- self-evident facts common observations
- release pressure relieve stress
- many individuals will play many individuals play
- and yet
- would state sports are would state that sports are
- sports in fact play sports, in fact, play
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response fully engages with both views, sustains a clear opinion, and develops its analysis through relevant social and psychological explanations. Its organisation and vocabulary are especially strong, while only a few dense or slightly awkward formulations reduce complete precision. The best refinement is to make the more abstract claims about communal identity more concise and support them with a concrete societal example beyond individual sports fans.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are directly examined, the writer's position remains clear, and the main ideas are extended with relevant explanation and examples.
Strengthen the societal dimension further by adding a concise example of how sport builds community or collective identity beyond individual spectators.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically sequenced, clearly paragraphed, and connected with cohesive devices that generally support rather than distract from progression.
Tighten the transition within the psychological-needs paragraph so its list of behaviours leads more directly to the concluding point about community.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary conveys nuanced distinctions, with only occasional phrasing that feels overly dense or slightly unnatural.
Prefer the clearest precise expression when discussing abstract ideas, particularly where several sophisticated modifiers compete within one phrase.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A broad range of complex structures is used accurately and flexibly, with only rare article or phrasing slips.
Proofread dense sentences for missing determiners and streamline long noun phrases to preserve clarity alongside grammatical sophistication.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that sports play an important role in society. Others think they are nothing more than a leisure activity. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.