Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding changes. Others, however think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Nowadays, people are arguing whether an ideal lifestyle should be a stable one or should it include a wide ranges of changes. In my opinion, whether changes are needed -- should be determined -- the stages of lives you are at.
Apparently, alternations in life are favorable to the development of young people, in regards to their careers. Primarily, an abundant experience in varieties of jobs enables the young to master a broad range of techniques and skills, leading to -- significant edge over the counterparts in the competition for employment. Meanwhile, trying various roles in life and work provides -- wide selections of lifestyles for the young in the future. Only after this comparison can they realize what the real goals of their lives should be striven for.
However, other than frequent changes, the elderly who have undergone all these challenges may pursue a steady lifestyle. For the elders, concentration on their favorite activities would give rise to a sense of enjoyment and security, which is helpful to physical and psychological health. Due to a stable life, the elderly are less exposed to stress, leading to a decrease in adrenal hormones and resulting in their well- beings.
Furthermore, degeneration of mental and physical function would make the elderly unlikely to adapt to external changes, causing frustrations and depressions, which are not contributing to their health.
Above all, it is unlikely to describe the changes in life with a positive or negative term. Accommodation for personal needs and goals is more important than the changes themselves.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural phrasing Original: people are arguing whether Suggested revision: people debate whether Why it matters: The simple present verb is more idiomatic for describing an ongoing public debate.
- 2. Restore parallel structure Original: or should it include Suggested revision: or whether it should include Why it matters: The second alternative needs 'whether' and statement word order to parallel the first.
- 3. Fix number agreement Original: ranges Suggested revision: range Why it matters: The article 'a' requires the singular noun 'range'.
- 4. Use cautious transition Original: Apparently Suggested revision: In many cases Why it matters: The revised transition introduces the claim without implying that it is self-evident.
- 5. Correct word choice Original: alternations Suggested revision: changes Why it matters: 'Alternations' means repeated switching and does not express general life changes here.
- 6. Improve collocation Original: favorable Suggested revision: beneficial Why it matters: 'Beneficial to' is the more natural collocation for a positive effect on development.
- 7. Fix fixed expression Original: in regards to Suggested revision: with regard to Why it matters: The standard expression is 'with regard to'.
- 8. Fix passive structure Original: what the real goals of their lives should be striven for Suggested revision: which goals they should pursue in life Why it matters: The verb 'strive' cannot be used naturally in this passive construction.
- 9. Show the contrast Original: other than frequent changes Suggested revision: rather than frequent change Why it matters: 'Rather than' correctly contrasts a steady lifestyle with frequent change.
- 10. Use neutral wording Original: For the elders Suggested revision: For older people Why it matters: 'Older people' is a more natural and neutral reference to this group.
- 11. Use a gerund subject Original: concentration Suggested revision: concentrating Why it matters: The gerund phrase expresses the activity more naturally as the subject of the clause.
- 12. Improve collocation Original: helpful Suggested revision: beneficial Why it matters: 'Beneficial to health' is the conventional collocation.
Suggested Rewrites
- people are arguing whether people debate whether
- or should it include or whether it should include
- ranges range
- Apparently In many cases
- alternations changes
- favorable beneficial
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response is strongest in its clear age-based organising principle, which supports a nuanced opinion and gives both perspectives a logical place. Its main limitation is the frequency of inaccurate collocations and grammatical constructions, with some supporting claims also remaining general; the highest-priority improvement is to express the same argument through more natural word combinations and controlled clause structures while adding one concrete example for each side.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are addressed and the writer's conditional position is clear, with relevant reasons about career development and later-life stability.
Support each perspective with a concrete, credible example and explain more carefully why age should determine the value of change.
Coherence and Cohesion
The age-based contrast creates clear overall progression, though the short fourth paragraph fragments the discussion of stability and some linking is mechanical.
Combine the two elderly-focused paragraphs and use topic sentences that show how each point develops the central comparison.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts a reasonably broad vocabulary, but recurrent miscollocations and word-choice errors reduce precision and naturalness.
Replace combinations such as varieties of jobs, wide selections, and resulting in their well-beings with standard, context-appropriate collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the main ideas, but errors in articles, agreement, word forms, and clause construction recur.
Prioritise accurate clause patterns after whether and consistent article and singular-plural control before attempting heavily embedded sentences.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding changes. Others, however think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.