Society is based on rules and laws. If individuals were free to do whatever they want to do, it could not function. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the above statement?
Sample Response
A society consists of its people and does have its own rules and by-laws which define the ideal conducts for individuals who are living in the society. These guiding principles are necessary to avoid any conflict by clearly demarcating the do’s and don’ts of the society. But these rules should not come into the way of individual preferences and choices which certainly can create a rift between those who are in power and those who are being governed. To start with, society regulations are a must have for running an ideal society. In absence of which there will be possible contradictions among people as everyone has its own way of thinking. For instance, in our society, there is a by-law which prohibits any kind of disturbing noise to be produced after 10'o clock in the night. This rule makes sure that even if someone organising a function, he has to stop playing music after the designated time so as to make sure no one else gets disturbed. On the other hand, these rules and regulations should not interfere in the personal choices of the individual as it is against the individual autonomy of the general public. Just to exemplify, a state of anarchy in the society is being created after the government of India proposed to make it illegal to sell and consume beef in India. By doing this the government is imposing their personal preferences over individual choices. To sum up, it is quite clear from the above arguments that having a defined set of rules and regulations is a prerequisite for the society to function and avoid any ambiguity but at the same time it is essential to make sure these laws does not comes in the way of individual autonomy.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use uncountable noun Original: conducts Suggested revision: conduct Why it matters: “Conduct” is uncountable when referring generally to standards of behaviour.
- 2. Reduce relative clause Original: individuals who are living Suggested revision: individuals living Why it matters: The reduced relative clause expresses the same meaning more concisely.
- 3. Use natural rule verb Original: demarcating Suggested revision: defining Why it matters: Rules define acceptable behaviour, while “demarcate” is more commonly used for physical or conceptual boundaries.
- 4. Use formal rule phrase Original: the do’s and don’ts of the society Suggested revision: society’s acceptable and unacceptable behaviours Why it matters: The revision replaces an informal idiom with a precise description of behavioural standards.
- 5. Correct fixed expression Original: come into the way Suggested revision: get in the way Why it matters: “Get in the way of” is the fixed expression meaning obstruct.
- 6. Use correct modifier Original: society Suggested revision: societal Why it matters: The adjective “societal” is needed to modify regulations relating to society.
- 7. Use formal adjective Original: a must have Suggested revision: essential Why it matters: “Must-have” is informal and would require a hyphen as a noun, while “essential” fits the predicate directly.
- 8. Use precise noise term Original: disturbing Suggested revision: disruptive Why it matters: “Disruptive” more precisely describes noise that interferes with other residents.
- 9. Use natural passive form Original: to be produced Suggested revision: from being made Why it matters: After “prohibits,” the pattern “from being made” states the restriction naturally.
- 10. Correct time preposition Original: in the night Suggested revision: at night Why it matters: “At night” is the fixed expression for this general time period.
- 11. Add auxiliary verb Original: even if someone organising Suggested revision: even if someone is organising Why it matters: The present continuous form requires the auxiliary verb “is.”
- 12. Use concise purpose phrase Original: so as to make sure Suggested revision: to ensure Why it matters: The shorter infinitive phrase expresses the same purpose more formally.
Suggested Rewrites
- conducts conduct
- individuals who are living individuals living
- demarcating defining
- the do’s and don’ts of the society society’s acceptable and unacceptable behaviours
- come into the way get in the way
- society societal
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response offers a clear, balanced position: rules are essential for social order but should respect individual autonomy, and the two examples give the argument a practical basis. Its main limitation is presentation and language control, since the entire essay forms one paragraph and recurring grammar and collocation errors reduce precision. The highest-priority improvement is to separate the argument into clear paragraphs and proofread complex sentences for complete clauses, agreement, and natural phrasing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses the extent question with a clear qualified position and develops both the need for rules and their proper limits.
Explain more precisely how the second example demonstrates excessive legal interference rather than describing it as anarchy.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a discernible progression and uses appropriate linking phrases, but presenting everything in one paragraph weakens organisation.
Divide the response into an introduction, one paragraph for each main idea, and a conclusion with clear internal topic sentences.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range for the topic, including some effective formal vocabulary, but inaccurate collocations occur throughout.
Use natural combinations such as standards of conduct, get in the way, and cause conflict, and avoid overstating meanings.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a mix of structures, but recurring fragments, agreement errors, and malformed verb phrases reduce accuracy.
Check that every sentence has a complete clause and correct forms such as everyone has their and laws do not come.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Society is based on rules and laws. If individuals were free to do whatever they want to do, it could not function. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the above statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.