The best way to reduce the number of traffic accidents is to make all young drivers complete a safe driving education course before being licensed to drive. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Nowadays, traffic accidents have become a menace to many countries. Some governments urge that all young drivers must be trained before a driving license is issued to them. For several reasons, I completely agree that all young drivers must attend a driving education course in order to reduce traffic accidents and traffic jams.
It is widely admitted that most of the traffic accidents are caused by untrained drivers. For example, in my country, most of the drivers do not know how to drive well because they lack the knowledge of driving. Consequently, a lot of traffic accidents occur on a periodic basis. Therefore, it is the government’s sole responsibility to train those drivers in order to prevent such accidents.
There is another reason why young drivers must complete a driving education course. It is taken for granted that traffic jams are, to some extent, caused by the untrained young drivers. For example, my friend did not attend a driving education course. He always causes traffic jams because he never knows the rules of a good driving. Therefore, he mustn’t drive unless he is taught and trained properly.
The statistics show that the numbers of accidents occur on the road are mostly due to the lack of proper driving training, reckless driving and violation of traffic rules. With proper training, the young drivers can be turned into cautious drivers and that would help them drive safely. This will, in turn, reduce the road accident.
To sum up, the officials mustn’t issue a driving license unless the driver is fully aware of the rules of driving. Doing so, we can avoid traffic accidents and traffic jams at large.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use precise problem phrase Original: menace to many countries Suggested revision: serious problem in many countries Why it matters: Serious problem in many countries states the scale and location of the issue more naturally.
- 2. Correct requirement structure Original: urge that all young drivers must be trained Suggested revision: require all young drivers to be trained Why it matters: Require takes an object plus infinitive and accurately expresses a government rule.
- 3. Use direct passive structure Original: before a driving license is issued to them Suggested revision: before they are issued a driving licence Why it matters: The revised passive structure keeps the drivers as the clear subject and avoids the awkward final pronoun.
- 4. Remove unnecessary article Original: most of the traffic accidents Suggested revision: most traffic accidents Why it matters: Most takes a plural noun directly when referring to traffic accidents generally.
- 5. Use natural reporting phrase Original: admitted Suggested revision: accepted Why it matters: Widely accepted is the natural phrase for a commonly held view.
- 6. Generalize without article Original: most of the drivers Suggested revision: most drivers Why it matters: Most takes the plural noun directly for a general group.
- 7. Use concise collocation Original: lack the knowledge of driving Suggested revision: lack driving knowledge Why it matters: Driving knowledge is the natural concise term for knowledge about how to drive.
- 8. Use concise frequency adverb Original: occur on a periodic basis Suggested revision: occur regularly Why it matters: Regularly conveys the same recurring frequency more directly.
- 9. State responsibility directly Original: it is the government’s sole responsibility Suggested revision: the government is responsible Why it matters: The direct construction avoids the unnecessarily absolute and wordy phrase sole responsibility.
- 10. Clarify driver reference Original: those Suggested revision: young Why it matters: Naming young drivers links the recommendation clearly to the group discussed in the essay.
- 11. Correct reporting expression Original: It is taken for granted that Suggested revision: It is widely believed that Why it matters: Taken for granted means accepted without appreciation or scrutiny, not simply believed by many people.
- 12. Remove unnecessary article Original: the untrained young drivers Suggested revision: untrained young drivers Why it matters: The plural group is discussed generally, so the definite article is unnecessary.
Suggested Rewrites
- menace to many countries serious problem in many countries
- urge that all young drivers must be trained require all young drivers to be trained
- before a driving license is issued to them before they are issued a driving licence
- most of the traffic accidents most traffic accidents
- admitted accepted
- most of the drivers most drivers
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay maintains a clear agreement and explains that training can improve rule knowledge and make young drivers more cautious. Its main limitation is repetitive and partly tangential development: several paragraphs restate that untrained drivers cause accidents, while traffic congestion receives attention without showing why education is the best safety measure. The highest-priority improvement is to compare compulsory training with enforcement or road design and explain why training would reduce accidents more effectively.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear and relevant support is offered, but the ideas are repetitive and do not adequately establish that education is the best method of reducing accidents.
Compare driver education with another safety intervention and develop one specific mechanism through which training prevents crashes.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is clearly paragraphised and follows a logical overall sequence, although repetition and mechanical cause-and-effect links weaken progression.
Combine the repeated points about untrained drivers and use the freed paragraph to evaluate an alternative accident-reduction measure.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate for driving, licensing, and road safety, but repetition and several unnatural collocations reduce flexibility and precision.
Use natural phrases such as 'driver-training course', 'knowledge of traffic rules', 'regularly', 'unsafe driving', and 'reduce road accidents'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The writer attempts a range of structures, though errors with articles, agreement, relative clauses, countable nouns, and participles recur.
Correct forms such as 'the number of accidents that occur', 'rules of safe driving', and 'by doing so, we can reduce accidents'.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The best way to reduce the number of traffic accidents is to make all young drivers complete a safe driving education course before being licensed to drive. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.