Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? Provide relevant examples if necessary.
Sample Response
It is often argued that it is more advantageous to choose a job with high wage, even if it doesn't appeal to you at all. I completely disagree with this opinion and think that job satisfaction is much more important than salary.
First of all, I believe that job satisfaction gives people a sense of fulfillment that no money can guarantee. Even if someone is earning a high salary, but feels tensed and compromises with his conscience, this person won’t enjoy his life. While pursuing one’s interests will always bring pleasure and feeling of satisfaction. For example, a lot of famous researchers made their career choices not because of appealing wages, but because they were passionate about science. That’s why it’s more important to choose the kind of work that makes you happy than to look only at a high salary.
Secondly, doing what you like keeps you motivated and therefore leads to a career growth. In other words, there is a strong relation between job satisfaction and productivity. People who love their jobs can easily excel in their fields of work and achieve better results than those, who put salary on the first place. For instance, Henry Miller decided to leave his everyday job despite a good wage and ventured to become a writer. And after enduring years of ups and downs he became one of the most famous and well-paid authors of the twentieth century. Thus, advantages of jobs that keep you satisfied outweigh the drawback of a low salary in a long-term perspective.
To conclude, I strongly believe that job satisfaction is more beneficial than high salary because it makes people happy and motivated.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add the article Original: with high wage Suggested revision: with a high wage Why it matters: A singular countable noun requires an article here.
- 2. Keep pronouns consistent Original: you Suggested revision: them Why it matters: The third-person pronoun keeps the reference to workers consistent.
- 3. Use natural phrasing Original: no money can guarantee Suggested revision: no amount of money can guarantee Why it matters: The revised phrase is more idiomatic when referring to an unlimited quantity of money.
- 4. Use formal quantifier Original: a lot of famous researchers Suggested revision: many famous researchers Why it matters: Many is more concise and appropriately formal for an academic essay.
- 5. Choose concise wording Original: made their career choices Suggested revision: chose their careers Why it matters: The revision expresses the same idea more directly.
- 6. Clarify the attraction Original: appealing Suggested revision: high Why it matters: High accurately identifies the feature of the wages that makes them attractive.
- 7. Maintain third person Original: doing what you like Suggested revision: doing what one likes Why it matters: Using one maintains the essay's general third-person perspective.
- 8. Remove the article Original: a career growth Suggested revision: career growth Why it matters: Career growth is used as an uncountable concept in this context.
- 9. Use standard collocation Original: relation Suggested revision: relationship Why it matters: Relationship is the more natural noun for this connection.
- 10. Remove redundancy Original: their fields of work Suggested revision: their fields Why it matters: Fields already refers clearly to their areas of work.
- 11. Remove the comma Original: those, who Suggested revision: those who Why it matters: A comma should not separate the antecedent from this restrictive relative clause.
- 12. Fix the expression Original: put salary on the first place Suggested revision: put salary first Why it matters: Put something first is the standard English expression for assigning it priority.
Suggested Rewrites
- with high wage with a high wage
- you them
- no money can guarantee no amount of money can guarantee
- a lot of famous researchers many famous researchers
- made their career choices chose their careers
- appealing high
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response presents a clear position and supports it with two relevant, logically developed reasons and examples. Its main limitation is the recurring use of awkward collocations and a few incomplete or loosely controlled sentence structures, although meaning remains clear throughout. The highest-priority improvement is to refine natural word combinations and check sentence boundaries so that the otherwise convincing argument reads more precisely and fluently.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear disagreement is maintained and supported by two relevant reasons with appropriate explanation and examples.
Develop the examples a little more explicitly by showing exactly how each one proves that satisfaction outweighs salary.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through a clear introduction, two focused body paragraphs, and a concise conclusion.
Use linking expressions more flexibly and integrate supporting sentences without fragments or unnecessary sentence-opening conjunctions.
Lexical Resource
The response shows sufficient range for the topic, but several unnatural collocations reduce precision and fluency.
Replace combinations such as 'feels tensed' and 'put salary on the first place' with natural, context-appropriate phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex structures is attempted successfully, though article, punctuation, and sentence-boundary errors recur.
Proofread subordinate clauses and articles carefully, ensuring that dependent clauses are attached to complete main clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? Provide relevant examples if necessary.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.