Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products any ware in the world. Is it a positive or negative development?
Sample Response
It is true that the world is becoming a global village through an enormous development in the technology. People are able to get their desired items in every part of the world quickly and without any barriers, which I intend to be a positive step towards the global advancement.
First of all, the world has become a global village. In other words, people can get whatever, and wherever they want. For instance, last year, one of my Chinese friends, he visited me and expressed his desire to eat “Sochiani”, which is a special and traditional Chinese cuisine. By a single search through the internet on my mobile, I got to know the specialized available restaurant for that food in my city, which I ordered for the dinner and make him propitiated. This clearly shows that due to such globalized world everything is possible and accessible.
Equally importantly, though, this development has broadened our horizon and has a very positive impact on our society. To illustrate this, if we look at the example of an Iphone, which is made by America, assembled in China, and available all over the world. The technical staff for the repair and maintenance is available in every country, and the majority of them are local dwellers of their countries. Apart from the reduction in the unemployment, it is contributing to strengthen the economy of these states.
By way of conclusion, it is an indisputable fact that globalization has revolutionized the whole world, and I am of the opinion that the advantages of such development outweigh its pitfalls. I hope that such development should be continued in other to make the globe a better place for the human being.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural phrasing Original: an enormous development in the technology Suggested revision: enormous technological advances Why it matters: The replacement uses the natural collocation for major progress in technology.
- 2. Use natural expression Original: their desired items Suggested revision: the products they want Why it matters: The replacement is clearer and more natural in this consumer context.
- 3. Use concise wording Original: in every part of the world Suggested revision: anywhere in the world Why it matters: The shorter expression conveys the same meaning more naturally.
- 4. Correct verb choice Original: which I intend to be Suggested revision: which I consider Why it matters: 'Consider' expresses the writer's judgement, while 'intend' does not fit this meaning.
- 5. Improve collocation Original: the global advancement Suggested revision: global progress Why it matters: 'Global progress' is a more natural collocation in this sentence.
- 6. Remove double subject Original: one of my Chinese friends, he visited me Suggested revision: one of my Chinese friends visited me Why it matters: The noun phrase and pronoun create an ungrammatical double subject.
- 7. Name a single dish Original: a special and traditional Chinese cuisine Suggested revision: a traditional Chinese dish Why it matters: 'Cuisine' describes a style of cooking, whereas the sentence refers to one food item.
- 8. Use natural search phrase Original: By a single search through the internet on my mobile Suggested revision: With a single internet search on my phone Why it matters: The replacement uses the standard expression for searching online.
- 9. Clarify restaurant search Original: got to know the specialized available restaurant for that food Suggested revision: found a restaurant serving that food Why it matters: The original sequence of modifiers is unnatural and obscures the intended meaning.
- 10. Fix tense and wording Original: and make him propitiated Suggested revision: and made him satisfied Why it matters: The past-tense narrative requires 'made', and 'satisfied' fits the intended meaning.
- 11. Add article and preposition Original: due to such globalized world Suggested revision: in such a globalized world Why it matters: The noun phrase needs an article, and 'in' correctly expresses the setting.
- 12. Use plural noun Original: horizon Suggested revision: horizons Why it matters: The fixed expression is 'broaden our horizons'.
Suggested Rewrites
- an enormous development in the technology enormous technological advances
- their desired items the products they want
- in every part of the world anywhere in the world
- which I intend to be which I consider
- the global advancement global progress
- one of my Chinese friends, he visited me one of my Chinese friends visited me
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response’s strongest feature is a clear positive position maintained from the introduction to the conclusion, with two distinct supporting paragraphs. Its main limitation is that the examples focus more on global access, restaurants, and employment than on how identical products make countries similar, so the task connection remains partly developed. Prioritise explaining that relationship directly and supporting it with accurately expressed, closely relevant examples.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear positive position is presented and supported, but the discussion only partly addresses the specific effect of shared products on national similarity.
Explain explicitly why access to the same products is positive and how it changes similarities between countries, rather than discussing globalisation generally.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion, with generally understandable progression despite some weak logical links.
Give each body paragraph one precise benefit and connect every example back to that benefit before moving to the next point.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range to discuss global access, technology, employment, and economic effects, but frequent awkward or inaccurate word choices weaken precision.
Replace forced expressions such as "make him propitiated" with common, context-appropriate wording and check collocations systematically.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied complex structures, but frequent errors in articles, agreement, tense, clause formation, and word forms reduce control.
Prioritise accurate clause construction and verb forms, especially by removing double subjects and checking agreement and tense in every sentence.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products any ware in the world. Is it a positive or negative development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.