Several languages are in danger of extinction because they are spoken by very small numbers of people. Some people say that governments should spend public money on saving these languages, while others believe that would be a waste of money. Discuss both of these views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
Some languages are in the phase of extinction due to the low population of the speakers. A group of people believe that governments should allocate some budget to preserve these languages, but others think that it would not be effective and efficient. The following essay will discuss both opinions, but I believe that maintaining the diversity of languages is an important thing.
On the one hand, some people believe that spending public money for protecting minority languages is a waste of money and time. The cost of maintaining the languages would be expensive since, there are only a small number of people who speak the languages, and many young people would refuse in learning and speaking in these languages as well. They believe that the money could be allocated for other important matters such as education, public transport and health.
On the other hand, many people believe that it is necessary for governments to preserve the existence of minority languages. Every nation has its own traditional languages which are spoken by their ancestor and descendants, and they have been passing through for many generations. There are a lot of myths, legends, traditional and cultural activities which are passing over to the next generation using these languages, as many tribes have no written literature. And if these languages do extinct, then it means that many nations will lose their precious historical cultures. Therefore it is important for governments to take some efforts in maintaining minority languages, though the cost of preserving them might be considered as expensive.
In conclusion, it is a fact that several languages in the world are in the phase of extinction. Some people suggest that governments should provide some fund for preserving these languages since they are inherited from the ancestors. Others think that the act is a waste of money as it has not economic benefits. Though both views have their own positive sides, I personally believe that people should protect the diversity of languages.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Collocation Original: in the phase of extinction Suggested revision: in danger of extinction Why it matters: This is the natural phrase for languages that may disappear.
- 2. Vague wording Original: effective and efficient Suggested revision: a good use of public money Why it matters: This more directly matches the argument.
- 3. Preposition pattern Original: spending public money for protecting Suggested revision: spending public money on protecting Why it matters: Use spend money on something.
- 4. Comma placement Original: expensive since, there are Suggested revision: expensive since there are Why it matters: Do not place a comma after since here.
- 5. Verb pattern Original: refuse in learning Suggested revision: refuse to learn Why it matters: Refuse is followed by to plus base verb.
- 6. Preposition error Original: speaking in these languages Suggested revision: speaking these languages Why it matters: No preposition is needed after speaking here.
- 7. Number error Original: spoken by their ancestor and descendants Suggested revision: spoken by their ancestors and descendants Why it matters: Use plural ancestors to refer to previous generations.
- 8. Collocation Original: passing through for many generations Suggested revision: passed down for many generations Why it matters: Passed down is used for traditions and languages.
- 9. Verb form Original: activities which are passing over Suggested revision: activities that are passed on Why it matters: Use the passive form for traditions transmitted between generations.
- 10. Verb form Original: if these languages do extinct Suggested revision: if these languages become extinct Why it matters: Extinct is an adjective, so use become.
- 11. Collocation Original: take some efforts Suggested revision: make some effort Why it matters: Use make an effort, not take efforts.
- 12. Plural/count noun Original: provide some fund Suggested revision: provide funding Why it matters: Funding is the natural uncountable noun here.
Suggested Rewrites
- in the phase of extinction in danger of extinction
- effective and efficient a good use of public money
- spending public money for protecting spending public money on protecting
- expensive since, there are expensive since there are
- refuse in learning refuse to learn
- speaking in these languages speaking these languages
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Both views are discussed and the writer’s opinion is clear. Ideas are relevant, though some explanations are general and the economic argument could be developed more.
Support each side with a more specific example, such as cultural records or practical government budget priorities.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has clear paragraphing and logical progression. Cohesion is sometimes mechanical and there are a few comma and sentence-boundary problems.
Use more precise linking and avoid starting sentences with And in formal writing.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate and sometimes flexible, but there are repeated phrases and some inaccurate word forms.
Use precise collocations such as preserve minority languages, ancestral languages, and have no economic benefit.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning is clear, but errors with articles, prepositions, plurals, and verb forms occur throughout.
Review verb patterns after refuse, spend, preserve, and become extinct.