Some people fail in school, but end up being successful in life. Why do you think that is the case? What is, in your opinion, the most important thing to succeed in life?
Sample Response
Education is a fundamental element of personal growth and professional success. However, there are cases where people who failed in school managed to succeed in life. In this essay, we will examine why some people who failed in school are successful in life and what is the most important thing to succeed in life.
Some people who failed in school are successful in life because they possess other traits that are equally important. One reason could be the ability to adapt and learn from their experiences. Such individuals tend to be persistent in their efforts and can find alternative ways to succeed. For instance, some famous entrepreneurs such as Steve Jobs and Richard Branson dropped out of college but went on to become successful in their respective fields due to their determination and ability to learn from their mistakes. Another reason why people who failed in school may succeed in life is their unique talents or abilities. They might have a natural flair for art, music, or sports, which is not always recognized or nurtured in a traditional classroom setting.
In my opinion, the most important thing to succeed in life is a strong work ethic. Success requires hard work, perseverance, and dedication. One must be willing to put in the time and effort required to achieve their goals. Additionally, successful people tend to be self-motivated, disciplined, and focused. They set realistic goals for themselves and work towards them relentlessly. Successful individuals also tend to have a growth mindset, where they see challenges as opportunities to learn and grow. Lastly, having a positive attitude and the ability to build meaningful relationships with others can also contribute significantly to one's success.
In conclusion, failing in school does not necessarily mean one will fail in life. Some people who failed in school have gone on to achieve great success due to their unique talents, adaptability, and perseverance. However, to succeed in life, one needs to have a strong work ethic, a growth mindset, and the ability to build meaningful relationships.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use precise relative form Original: there are cases where Suggested revision: there are cases in which Why it matters: “In which” is the more precise relative form for referring to cases.
- 2. Clarify time frame Original: people who failed in school managed to succeed in life Suggested revision: people who failed in school have managed to succeed in life Why it matters: The present perfect better connects past school failure with success that remains relevant now.
- 3. Use precise wording Original: traits that are equally important Suggested revision: qualities that are equally valuable Why it matters: “Valuable qualities” more clearly describes attributes that support success outside school.
- 4. Improve parallel structure Original: tend to be persistent in their efforts and can find Suggested revision: tend to persist in their efforts and find Why it matters: Using two parallel base verbs makes the coordination more concise.
- 5. Remove redundant determiner Original: some famous entrepreneurs such as Suggested revision: famous entrepreneurs such as Why it matters: “Such as” already introduces examples, so “some” is unnecessary.
- 6. Use idiomatic phrasing Original: In my opinion, the most important thing to succeed in life Suggested revision: In my opinion, the most important factor in succeeding in life Why it matters: “Factor in succeeding” expresses the relationship more naturally than “thing to succeed.”
- 7. Improve relative connector Original: where Suggested revision: whereby Why it matters: “Whereby” more precisely introduces how the mindset operates.
- 8. Use concise phrasing Original: Education is a fundamental element of Suggested revision: Education is fundamental to Why it matters: The revision expresses the relationship to growth and success more directly.
- 9. Use direct signposting Original: In this essay, we will examine Suggested revision: This essay examines Why it matters: Direct present-tense signposting is more concise and appropriately formal.
- 10. State the reason directly Original: One reason could be the ability to adapt Suggested revision: One reason is their ability to adapt Why it matters: The revision removes unnecessary hedging and identifies whose ability is meant.
- 11. Vary success phrasing Original: alternative ways to succeed Suggested revision: alternative routes to success Why it matters: This natural collocation avoids repeating the verb “succeed.”
- 12. Use formal vocabulary Original: flair Suggested revision: aptitude Why it matters: “Aptitude” expresses an innate ability in a more formal academic register.
Suggested Rewrites
- there are cases where there are cases in which
- people who failed in school managed to succeed in life people who failed in school have managed to succeed in life
- traits that are equally important qualities that are equally valuable
- tend to be persistent in their efforts and can find tend to persist in their efforts and find
- some famous entrepreneurs such as famous entrepreneurs such as
- In my opinion, the most important thing to succeed in life In my opinion, the most important factor in succeeding in life
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay answers both questions directly, develops several plausible reasons for success after academic failure, and maintains a clear, well-organised progression with strong language control. Its main limitation is that the claim that work ethic is the single most important factor becomes diluted by a list of other qualities, while the college-dropout example does not precisely demonstrate failure at school. The priority is to deepen and defend the central choice more selectively.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Both questions are addressed with a clear position, relevant explanations, and examples, although some support is not fully precise or prioritised.
Explain more explicitly why work ethic outweighs the other qualities mentioned and use an example that directly matches school failure.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas are logically sequenced in well-focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices guide the reader smoothly without disrupting progression.
Strengthen the link between the supporting qualities and the central claim about work ethic rather than presenting them as a list.
Lexical Resource
A broad and generally precise vocabulary supports nuanced discussion, though repetition of “success” and “successful” is noticeable.
Vary repeated key terms selectively and choose more specific language when distinguishing academic performance from later achievement.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately, with only minor lapses that do not impede communication.
Refine occasional heavy relative-clause constructions to make already accurate sentences more concise.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people fail in school, but end up being successful in life. Why do you think that is the case? What is, in your opinion, the most important thing to succeed in life?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.