Schools are no longer needed because children can find so much information on the internet and study at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this essay?
Sample Response
Undoubtedly, advanced technology has been gaining roots in every sphere of life where teaching and learning are not exceptions. Children, nowadays, are more dependent on the Internet despite schools, as such some assume that there is no requirement of schools anymore. I firmly disagree with this perspective, and upcoming segments elaborate my viewpoint on this with factual examples.
To embark with, the Internet is an impressive helping hand for students in the learning process. Every knowledge, either required or not, is just a click away from them. However, thinking that teaching institutions are not essential anymore, I believe it is not justifiable. Schools are not meant for studies merely. Here one not only gets knowledge of academics but also have a handful of experience in extracurricular activities. To exemplify, many artists have grown from education institutes such as Satinder Sartaj, a renowned Punjabi singer. Hence, without schools, our today’s entertainment industry would not have such gems.
In addition to this, the availability of teachers at school is vital for children’s all-around development. Imparting social values and making emotionally stable and career guidance are pivotal roles that a teacher performs at school premises. Furthermore, teaching institutes provide career opportunities in the form of campus recruitment for the greener future of their pupils. For instance, most of the children have offer letters to them at management schools of Canada before exams. Therefore, in the absence of schools, educational aspirants will deprive of social values and job chances.
To conclude, although Internet has everything for children to learn, it can never replace school and tutors physically since extracurricular activities, career guidance and jobs in advance cannot be undermined that one could have at school only.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct the idiom Original: gaining roots Suggested revision: taking root Why it matters: Taking root is the established expression for becoming firmly established.
- 2. Use essay terminology Original: upcoming segments Suggested revision: following paragraphs Why it matters: Following paragraphs refers clearly to the later parts of an essay.
- 3. Use direct wording Original: elaborate my viewpoint on this with factual examples Suggested revision: explain my viewpoint with examples Why it matters: The revision removes an awkward verb-object combination and an unnecessary claim about factuality.
- 4. Correct the linker Original: embark Suggested revision: begin Why it matters: To begin with is the correct transition for introducing the first point.
- 5. Use formal phrasing Original: impressive helping hand Suggested revision: valuable aid Why it matters: Valuable aid is a more precise and appropriately formal description.
- 6. Fix uncountable noun Original: Every knowledge Suggested revision: All information Why it matters: Knowledge is uncountable and cannot normally follow every in this meaning.
- 7. Correct the alternative Original: either Suggested revision: whether Why it matters: Whether correctly introduces the stated alternative.
- 8. Clarify the meaning Original: studies merely Suggested revision: academic study alone Why it matters: Academic study alone expresses the intended limitation more naturally.
- 9. Clarify the subject Original: Here one Suggested revision: There, students Why it matters: Students supplies a clear plural subject and there refers back to schools naturally.
- 10. Fix agreement and phrasing Original: gets knowledge of academics Suggested revision: gain academic knowledge Why it matters: The plural subject requires gain, and academic knowledge is the natural noun phrase.
- 11. Restore parallel structure Original: but also have a handful of experience Suggested revision: but also gain extensive experience Why it matters: Gain parallels the earlier verb and experience is uncountable in this use.
- 12. Use correct form Original: education institutes Suggested revision: educational institutions Why it matters: Educational is the appropriate adjective and institutions is the standard term.
Suggested Rewrites
- gaining roots taking root
- upcoming segments following paragraphs
- elaborate my viewpoint on this with factual examples explain my viewpoint with examples
- embark begin
- impressive helping hand valuable aid
- Every knowledge All information
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response maintains a clear disagreement and organises its reasons into distinct paragraphs, so the central argument remains easy to follow. Its main limitation is that several supporting examples are only loosely connected to children’s need for schools, while frequent awkward phrasing and grammar errors reduce precision. The priority is to develop each reason with directly relevant evidence and express it in simpler, accurate sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response gives a clear position and relevant reasons for retaining schools, but some supporting examples are unconvincing or insufficiently connected to the claim.
Use one directly relevant example for each reason and explain clearly how it proves that home internet study cannot replace school.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay follows a clear introduction-body-conclusion structure and generally progresses logically, although some linking expressions are mechanical or awkward.
Use simpler transitions and ensure each paragraph develops one central reason from claim through explanation to relevant example.
Lexical Resource
The response shows an adequate topic-related range, but frequent collocational errors and unnatural word choices reduce precision.
Prefer natural combinations such as gain ground, gain experience, and be deprived of opportunities, and avoid memorised-sounding phrases.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures is attempted, but recurring errors in agreement, articles, sentence construction, and verb forms weaken accuracy.
Focus on complete clause structures and subject-verb agreement, then proofread each complex sentence for missing articles and auxiliaries.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Schools are no longer needed because children can find so much information on the internet and study at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this essay?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.