It is the responsibility of schools to teach children good behaviour in addition to provide formal education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
It is argued that schools should teach students to be good people apart from providing formal education. I completely agree with this statement because children spend long hours at schools, and parents have to pay for tuition fees.
Schools should be responsible for teaching children to have good manners because children spend a significant amount of time at schools. This is because when children spend a lot of time with teachers who usually act as role models for them, students can learn and imitate good manners. For example, students from one of the most famous schools in Thailand reported that they behave themselves well because their teachers instilled good values in them while studying at schools.
Another reason is that parents have to pay for tuition fees, so they expect their children to become good people. This is due to the fact that parents expect their children to be successful both professionally and personally. For instance, international schools in Thailand charge parents a lot of money, so their parents expect their children to be excellent not only at academic subjects, but also good manners.
In conclusion, schools have to be responsible for teaching about good manners because children spend a lot of time at schools, and parents have to pay for education costs.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use institutional singular Original: schools Suggested revision: school Why it matters: At school is the standard expression when referring generally to attendance.
- 2. Use concise collocation Original: teaching children to have good manners Suggested revision: teaching children good manners Why it matters: Teach someone good manners is the more direct and natural construction.
- 3. Use institutional singular Original: schools Suggested revision: school Why it matters: School is singular in the general institutional expression at school.
- 4. Remove redundant framing Original: This is because when Suggested revision: When Why it matters: The two causal frames are redundant when used together at the start of this sentence.
- 5. Use natural verb Original: imitate Suggested revision: adopt Why it matters: People adopt manners rather than imitate the manners themselves.
- 6. Use concise wording Original: behave themselves well Suggested revision: behave well Why it matters: Behave well expresses the intended meaning without the unnecessary reflexive pronoun.
- 7. Use natural expression Original: while studying at schools Suggested revision: while at school Why it matters: At school is the idiomatic institutional expression in this context.
- 8. Remove extra preposition Original: Another reason is that parents have to pay for tuition fees Suggested revision: Another reason is that parents have to pay tuition fees Why it matters: The verb pay takes the fee directly without for in this construction.
- 9. Use concise connector Original: This is due to the fact that Suggested revision: This is because Why it matters: The shorter causal connector expresses the same relationship more clearly.
- 10. Use correct verb pattern Original: teaching about good manners Suggested revision: teaching good manners Why it matters: Teach takes the subject matter directly here, without about.
- 11. Use precise wording Original: teach students to be good people Suggested revision: teach students good behaviour Why it matters: Good behaviour is more precise and directly matches the issue discussed.
- 12. Show addition clearly Original: apart from providing formal education Suggested revision: alongside providing formal education Why it matters: Alongside expresses the intended addition more clearly than apart from.
Suggested Rewrites
- schools school
- teaching children to have good manners teaching children good manners
- schools school
- This is because when When
- imitate adopt
- behave themselves well behave well
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response states a consistent position and follows a clear, easy-to-track structure, with the role-model argument explained effectively. Its main limitation is limited development: the tuition-fee reason is only partly relevant, ideas are repetitive, and the essay falls below the expected length. The highest priority is to add a stronger second argument that directly explains why schools share responsibility for children's behaviour.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear and relevant, but the short response relies on two narrow reasons, one of which is only partly convincing.
Develop a directly relevant second reason, such as schools' role in preparing children for social and civic life, with fuller explanation.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing and progression are clear, although repeated causal phrasing and restatement make the argument somewhat mechanical.
Vary the way supporting details are connected and ensure each body paragraph advances the argument rather than restating its premise.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is generally clear and appropriate, but repeated words and a few awkward combinations restrict flexibility.
Use more precise alternatives for recurring terms and check natural patterns such as showing good manners and succeeding academically.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses both simple and complex sentences with generally clear meaning, despite several errors in prepositions, comparison, and parallel structure.
Review prepositional choices and keep paired structures grammatically parallel, especially constructions using not only and but also.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
It is the responsibility of schools to teach children good behaviour in addition to provide formal education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.