Some people think students should study the science of food and how to prepare it. Others think students should spend time on important subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
Education has always been a public debate since it shapes the future of the next generation. While some people think students should only focus on essential courses, I believe the food science program would enhance the current curriculum for high schools.
On the one hand, some people insist students on studying fundamental subjects because these subjects seem to be more important for career trajectories. Most schools are expected to provide essential knowledge from coursework such as Math, Literature, and Language and to build up a strong academic foundation that will apply to students’ future jobs. A student who wishes to become a software engineer, for example, should obtain a comprehensive understanding of Mathematics since the job requires rigorous math knowledge and logic to build feasible algorithms. It is likely that students will spend more time on focal subjects that potentially contribute to a better career prospect.
Nevertheless, others suggest complementing food science programs for students that I believe will benefit students by increasing their independence. Since food is a life necessity, students need to acquire basic information and cooking skills in order to self-support and adapt to any circumstances. For instance, students who study abroad will likely be exhausted due to demanding curriculums and without sufficient care from parents. Therefore, they should be aware of nutritious food and easy cooking methods in order to boost their health while still saving time for tight schedules. Having knowledge of food and cooking, students can generally understand their body needs and customize their daily diets based on their conditions in order to maintain a healthy lifestyle.
In conclusion, it seems evident that both notions have their own unique advantages, but I believe that food knowledge is a compulsory component for students. Schools should also create a balanced curriculum with these subjects in order to prepare holistic education and practical experience for students.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural preposition Original: for Suggested revision: in Why it matters: The curriculum exists in schools rather than being intended for the schools themselves.
- 2. Correct verb pattern Original: insist students on studying Suggested revision: insist that students study Why it matters: The verb 'insist' takes a that-clause here.
- 3. Use precise term Original: trajectories Suggested revision: prospects Why it matters: The argument concerns future opportunities rather than the paths careers follow over time.
- 4. Improve preposition choice Original: from Suggested revision: through Why it matters: 'Through' more naturally describes the means by which knowledge is provided.
- 5. Use consistent subject names Original: Math, Literature, and Language Suggested revision: mathematics, literature, and languages Why it matters: Lowercase academic subject names and use the plural 'languages' for a general category.
- 6. Fix faulty reference Original: that will apply to students’ future jobs Suggested revision: that students can apply in their future jobs Why it matters: Students apply the foundation; the foundation does not itself apply to jobs.
- 7. Improve academic collocation Original: rigorous math knowledge and logic Suggested revision: strong mathematical knowledge and logical reasoning Why it matters: These noun phrases express the required abilities more naturally and precisely.
- 8. Choose precise verb Original: build feasible algorithms Suggested revision: design effective algorithms Why it matters: Algorithms are normally designed, and 'effective' is clearer than 'feasible' in this context.
- 9. Use standard term Original: focal Suggested revision: core Why it matters: 'Core subjects' is the conventional term for essential areas of study.
- 10. Use plural noun Original: a better career prospect Suggested revision: better career prospects Why it matters: The general idea of future employment opportunities is normally expressed with the plural noun.
- 11. Use idiomatic wording Original: self-support Suggested revision: support themselves Why it matters: 'Support themselves' is the natural verb phrase for living independently.
- 12. Avoid absolute wording Original: any circumstances Suggested revision: a range of circumstances Why it matters: The revised phrase makes the claim appropriately measured without changing its meaning.
Suggested Rewrites
- for in
- insist students on studying insist that students study
- trajectories prospects
- from through
- Math, Literature, and Language mathematics, literature, and languages
- that will apply to students’ future jobs that students can apply in their future jobs
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response addresses both perspectives and maintains a clear preference for including food science, with relevant examples that give the discussion substance. Its main limitation is recurrent awkward wording and imprecise collocation, which sometimes makes otherwise sound ideas less natural and exact. The highest-priority improvement is to revise sentence patterns and word partnerships while sharpening the explanation of how a balanced curriculum would work in practice.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are discussed with a clear opinion and relevant, generally developed support.
Explain more specifically how food science should fit alongside core subjects in a balanced curriculum.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay progresses logically through the two views, with clear paragraph purposes and generally effective linking.
Make the final sentences of each body paragraph state their central claim more directly.
Lexical Resource
The response shows a good range of topic vocabulary, but recurrent unnatural collocations reduce precision.
Replace awkward phrases such as those about supporting oneself, focal subjects, and preparing education with standard word partnerships.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex structures is used successfully, although several construction and agreement errors remain noticeable.
Review verb patterns, relative-clause construction, and singular-plural agreement to make complex sentences consistently accurate.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think students should study the science of food and how to prepare it. Others think students should spend time on important subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.