Due to Science and Technology, people all over the world are having the same lifestyles. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
Sample Response
Advancements in science and technology have revolutionised our lives and with time we are getting more adapted to it. Many people believe that scientific and technological progress has resulted in similar lifestyle all across the globe. This essay will analyse both views and will provide an opinion in the conclusion.
On the one hand, progress in technology has brought people closer in terms of their way of living. People living in different countries can now share same dressing, jewellery, food, housing and so on. For instance, e-shopping websites like e-bay have helped people to order dresses, jewellery, electronic items and so on with few clicks. Stuff that was only available to locals can now be ordered by anyone anywhere. Widespread usage of Internet services has also played a major role in acquiring similar lifestyles. For instance, Facebook, Viber, Skype and so on has changed the way we dress, eat, work and commute. Things that were ionized with local tradition and their possession were an essence of pride can be acquired easily courtesy online banking and efficient payment systems.
On the other hand, these developments have taken away the cultural norms and traditions of a society. People adapting to western or eastern lifestyle are slowing giving away their heritage. For instance, in Muslims, wearing shalwar kameez on festivals is replaced with western dressing. Our richness in culture, eating habits, dressing norms and way of living is slowly changing which is obfuscating our nationality and uniqueness of culture.
To conclude, the above provide plausible arguments over similarities in lifestyles due to progress in technology, however, not all the developments are positive, there are some negative traits associated with it. Adapting lifestyle is not inappropriate, but one should not forget their local culture and traditions.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix adaptation phrase Original: getting more adapted to it Suggested revision: becoming more accustomed to them Why it matters: People become accustomed to developments, and the plural reference requires “them.”
- 2. Use plural lifestyle noun Original: lifestyle Suggested revision: lifestyles Why it matters: The general comparison concerns the lifestyles of many people, so the noun should be plural.
- 3. Remove redundant global phrase Original: all across the globe Suggested revision: across the globe Why it matters: “Across the globe” already conveys worldwide extent.
- 4. Keep future verbs concise Original: will analyse both views and will provide Suggested revision: will analyse both perspectives and provide Why it matters: One modal can govern both coordinated verbs, and “perspectives” avoids a vague reference.
- 5. Use concise technology phrase Original: On the one hand, progress in technology Suggested revision: On the one hand, technological progress Why it matters: The adjective construction expresses the same idea more concisely.
- 6. Add article and clarify Original: share same dressing Suggested revision: share the same clothing styles Why it matters: The phrase requires “the same,” and “clothing styles” is more natural than “dressing.”
- 7. Use standard online term Original: e-shopping websites Suggested revision: online shopping websites Why it matters: “Online shopping websites” is the standard and clearest expression.
- 8. Correct brand spelling Original: e-bay Suggested revision: eBay Why it matters: The brand name is conventionally written as “eBay.”
- 9. Use broader clothing noun Original: dresses, jewellery, electronic items Suggested revision: clothes, jewellery and electronic items Why it matters: “Clothes” matches the broad product category and the final conjunction completes the list.
- 10. Add missing article Original: with few clicks Suggested revision: with a few clicks Why it matters: The countable expression requires the article “a.”
- 11. Use formal goods noun Original: Stuff Suggested revision: Goods Why it matters: “Goods” is more precise and formal than “stuff” for purchasable items.
- 12. Use concise internet phrase Original: Widespread usage of Internet services Suggested revision: Widespread use of internet services Why it matters: “Use” is more concise than “usage,” and generic “internet” does not need capitalization.
Suggested Rewrites
- getting more adapted to it becoming more accustomed to them
- lifestyle lifestyles
- all across the globe across the globe
- will analyse both views and will provide will analyse both perspectives and provide
- On the one hand, progress in technology On the one hand, technological progress
- share same dressing share the same clothing styles
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay considers both greater access to shared goods and services and the erosion of cultural traditions, using relevant examples from online shopping, communication platforms, clothing, and festivals. Its main limitation is that the final judgement remains only partly explicit and several lexical and grammatical errors obscure otherwise useful ideas; the highest-priority improvement is to state a clear overall evaluation and support it with precise cause-and-effect language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Relevant positive and negative effects are developed, but the conclusion offers a conditional caution rather than a fully explicit judgement about whether the development is positive or negative overall.
State clearly whether the benefits of global access outweigh cultural loss, or explain why the outcome is positive only when local traditions are actively preserved.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction, positive view, negative view, and conclusion provide clear overall progression, though some examples are loosely connected and the conclusion is compressed.
Give each body paragraph one central effect and make the final comparison explicitly refer back to those two effects.
Lexical Resource
The essay attempts a broad range related to globalisation and culture, but inaccurate choices such as "same dressing," "ionized with local tradition," and "obfuscating our nationality" reduce clarity.
Use natural terms such as "similar clothing," "rooted in local tradition," "cultural identity," and "the erosion of distinct customs."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning is generally understandable, but recurring errors in articles, agreement, plurals, relative clauses, and sentence boundaries weaken control.
Revise forms such as "similar lifestyles," "websites have changed," "people are slowly giving up their heritage," and separate the run-on conclusion into complete sentences.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Due to Science and Technology, people all over the world are having the same lifestyles. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.